[DM AAR] For Tea And Country! COMPLETED AAARGHHHH

[tuore]

Starting a new AAR as last one died to CTD's.



Faction: GB
Difficulty: H/H
Rules: -
Revolutions and other stuff:
Humor: YESSS!

If you want to be critical on an AAR, please make it constructive critisicm rather than just complaining.

Chapter I: William III the Tea Lord

Hi. My name is William the Third. I'm the king of Great Britain, i like uniforms and tea. What else is there to say?



William: Haven't i got a beautiful hair, huh?

Advisor: Yes yes, as always. Hey, Hurons declared war to us!

William: Hush, hush. I'm getting my new uniform and drink a cup of tea.

Advisor: Sir, it's important, as we have Rupert's Land next to Hurons.

William: Silence. I want my tea.

Advisor: We have none.

William: WHAT?! Bring me tea NOW!

Advisor: We have to travel to India for tea.

William: Well, let's establish a colony. Who's our best admiral?



Advisor: It's John Leake and his mighty navy.
William: Well, we have a mission to take Cherokee cities, so let's send him to America first.

And so was done. Only half year later, we were attacked.



Can Great Britain regain glory through conquest? Can we tame the wilderness?

And most important...


DO WE FIND THE TEA?!

End of Chapter I

[Plank of Wood]

WRONG.

As a british person myself, I'd like to complain about they way that we are portrayed as tea cravers. As in, we are not portrayed correctly. This would be portraying us correctly:

"WE CRAVE TEA FAR MORE THAN THAT. RAWR. WHERE IS MY PG TIPS DAMNIT."


Thank you and good day. *sips cup*

[Antwerpen]

Very nice. I like the overuse of stereotypes, very racist (just like my style). +rep for a good start.

WRONG.

As a british person myself, I'd like to complain about they way that we are portrayed as tea cravers. As in, we are not portrayed correctly. This would be portraying us correctly:

"WE CRAVE TEA FAR MORE THAN THAT. RAWR. WHERE IS MY PG TIPS DAMNIT."


Thank you and good day. *sips cup*

Please calme downe, my goode sire. Doth thou fancy a cup o' tea, chap?

[Plank of Wood]

Please calme downe, my goode sire. Doth thou fancy a cup o' tea, chap?

Indeed good sir. Pass the sugar, in fact let us declare war on a small African tribe, that always makes me feel better.

[Santini]

Ah! The Russians are in africa, arn't they? And it would be ever so pleasant to put a hair on their crumpet! Perhaps a declaration of war is in order?

-excellent aar, btw :-D

[Pink Beard]

I almost cried when I saw *DEAD* on the Pizza AAR.

I'm so happy you continued with a new one!!

I WANT TEEEAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mr Tom]

We need tea AND biscuits man. :p
Good work keep it up

[Orko]

Damnit! after wanting pizza because of your last AAR I now want Tea!

[Nole4694]

You brits are very odd
lol
Its good you recoved from your loss so quickly man, it still pains me to think about it... but thi new one helps

[Plank of Wood]

You brits are very odd

What?!

*Handlebar moustache bristles in fury*

[bomberboy]

You brits are very odd

We think your just as odd.

[Nole4694]

We think your just as odd.

Why thank you! thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

[bomberboy]

Why thank you! thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

Oh it was nothin.

[Spartaaaa]

good update very funny.i have come up with a plan to get the tea.First go to India and ask for the secret recipe of tea,when they denie destroy there schools so they become uneducated.Then tell them you have flying fart monkeys that drop cows,so they will accept.Then get the sugar for tea by invading cuba.After that build a time machine and go back in time to rub it in king auther face.Then mod the game so you can have man trow tea at people because tea is so good they will stop fighting.I would do an arr myself if i knew how

[ClaymanVTW]

What?!

*Handlebar moustache bristles in fury*

do you care for a spot of tea sir?dont pay attention to this blasphemous rubes! *pip pip*










lol, sorry mate i had to add in

really another lad made a thread on Cherokees and their (awkward) quest for chocolate...haha!

[ClaymanVTW]

Oh it was nothin.

...sure give HIM praise!!! everyone ignores the fat kid!!!

[tuore]

Now this has almost 1 page and not even second update yet

[Musthavename]

Deleted a few spammy posts to clear this thread up a bit. Also, if you want to be critical on an AAR, please make it constructive critisicm rather than just complaining.

[tuore]

Deleted a few spammy posts to clear this thread up a bit. Also, if you want to be critical on an AAR, please make it constructive critisicm rather than just complaining.

Thanks, Musthavename. I'll add that to the first post.

[tuore]

Chapter II: The war against Obb... obama... Obbamti... whoever

William: Churchill should go forward and take Kentucky.

Advisor: Sir, we might know where lieth the capital city of the Cherokee native nation!

William: Well, we will take sometimes. We need to destroy them now, get the 13 colonies to join us, then we will go to India.

The battle has started.

Churchill: Well i'll say, there they are!



Churchill: Prepare our mighty army. Soldiers, make sure you got your bayonets on. A click should be heard if they are stuck in the pipe correctly. Also, make sure that you have a good posture. Otherwise, you'll end up with a bad back. After you've maken sure that the bayonets...



Well, he's a BIT too late.

Churchill: Dang! Why are these civilized irish people wearing blankets?

Battle Advisor: Sir, these are the barbarian Cherokees, not the irish. Or are they?

Churchill: Aye, they are! I cannot understand this anymore. Which one are we? The green or the red?

Advisor: The green.

Churchill: NO way! We're english (or to be exact, i am scottish, because i use the term 'aye'), and the irish rebels use a green flag. No way. We are the red. Why don't my brave soldiers follow orders?

Advisor: Because they are cherokees.

Finally Churchill understood what was going on. Whoever called Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin "The Three Great", must have confused Churchill with someone else.



Churchill: Obama is beaten!
Advisor: No, it's Obb... Bati... Wat? No, O-B-B-A-T-I-N-E-W-A-T.
Churchill. Whatever. I am now going to the best barber in London.
Advisor: We are in America.
Churchill: Well, but i brought him with me!



Meanwhile in England...

William III: How is the conquest in America going?
Advisor: Armies are marching towards Kentucky.
William: And our mighty government! How are they?
Advisor: We have excellent governors, except the one in America. I think he's Churchill's tavern mate.



One year later...

Advisor: Sir. We have finally managed to march our troops to the mighty town of Kentucky!

William: Good, good. No, excellent, i'd say. Absolutely fantastic. I am jumping of joy.

Advisor: The Cherokees have made a tactical mistake.



William: It is their destiny! Send Churchill there.

Cherokees fell.

William: Now, send Churchill towards India.

Advisor: There's still New France to take before 13 colonies join us.

William: I want tea...

Advisor: We have also run out of biscuits.

William: My biscuits! Do we even have milk? Bring me some.

Advisor: Certainly, my liege.

ZIP

William: Who's that?!?!?



Advisor: It's the Stig from a future car show called Top Gear.

William: Cars? Gear? Stig? Future? What the hell are you talking about?

Advisor: Top Gear rocks!

William: Are they even brits?

Advisor: Yes, that's why they rock.

William: Indeed.

End of Chapter II

Next update: Claiming Quebec and closing to India.