The 5-Line Empire Challenge!

[Otto von Lanstien]

I saw the thread "a very brief history of the romans" and it gave me a funny idea - Why try to get our budding members to cram the history of their chosen empire/people into 5 short lines! :lol

Just to start off, I'll do the British Empire (Uk'er myself :rolleyes):

Started off with a little of old paying Pirates in the carribean... Worked up the colonies a little; Africa, India, Far-East, Protectorates in the med. Had a few runs of trouble; America 1777 (ok, ok so we lost :erm, - but you cheated :getlost ) The Mutinies in India... But still gaining, growing... Wars with France underNapoleon (rule briannia, britannia rules the waves) still all going dandy, fine and strong... realize our people are getting worse thanks to factories... fix it up a little just in time for WWI - lose big time on the wallet thanks to some obscure belgian treaty :angry... still getting bigger... WWII - Oh dear we have to give it back at the end! :crying (but we get to keep the falklands... So it's all ok! :lol + :huh ).

Ok, ok so it's 5 & 1/2 lines, - so sue me. :cool

[Dark Lord of the Sith]

Oh, god. If I haven't finish my breif history. I can't do it in 5 lines!

[General Sun]

Does it have to be an empire?

American History in 5 lines.

America began as 13 rebellious British Colonies on North America. After a difficult war, Great Britian granted them independence. From this point on, America started expanding, growing, developing. Based on the ideals that all men are created equal, and those of free enterprise and free press, America grew to a world superpower with their superior democratic methods. They hit a few stones in the way. However, those stones were quickly turned away with the abolition of slavery, downfall of global facism, then global communism. The present challenge facing America today is combating global terriosm while keeping the liberals in check.

Long live America!

[Xiaodun]

America isnt an empire in the stricest meaning you know. Besides America didnt abolish slavery but this topic isnt about that.

Japan was originally filled with primitive tribes that survived on fish and acorns. After iron and agriculture was transported from China, the kings of Yamato came from the North and seized Nara. They built the Yamato royal court their and conquered most of Japan. Soon later, beaurucrats dominated the court and the emperour became a puppet of the regent. The samurai then defeated the regents, only to be defeated by the emperour and the emperour was defeated by militants. The militants built a vast empire, killing several million people on the way. The people of Japan rebuilt the country into an economical power, showing the greatness of the Japanese people. (What other people have increased their GDP by 110,000 times within a century?)

[Zuwxiv]

Originally posted by Otto von Lanstien@May 2 2005, 01:54 PM
but we get to keep the falklands... So it's all ok! :lol + :huh ).

*lol* :w00t :lol :mellow *lol* *lol*

I learned about that last year, my history teacher is british. At least you still have an empire!!! :p

I'll put some empire in somewhere... How about this?

America: We rebel and face some hard times but lucky for us there is a lot of land to steal from the indians. People are enticed to come to our country and we get some economic as well as military successes. WWI and WWII establish our status as a superpower. Bush screws everything up. Everyone hates us. We are throwing money away. Our economy is built on nothing...

I'll put a serious, non satirical one in later. :p (PS, I'm not worried as much about Bush as I am about the economy... what makes that 20 dollar bill more valuable than the 1 dollar bill? Think about that. :p)

[Rutilius Rufus]

Originally posted by deathdoom56@May 3 2005, 01:14 AM
Besides America didnt abolish slavery

I know this is off topic, but what do you mean by that?

[CaptainCernick]

Originally posted by Otto von Lanstien@May 2 2005, 04:54 PM
Started off with a little of old paying Pirates in the carribean... Worked up the colonies a little; Africa, India, Far-East, Protectorates in the med. Had a few runs of trouble; America 1777 (ok, ok so we lost , - but you cheated) The Mutinies in India... But still gaining, growing... Wars with France underNapoleon (rule briannia, britannia rules the waves) still all going dandy, fine and strong... realize our people are getting worse thanks to factories... fix it up a little just in time for WWI - lose big time on the wallet thanks to some obscure belgian treaty... still getting bigger... WWII - Oh dear we have to give it back at the end! (but we get to keep the falklands... So it's all ok! ).

Ok, ok so it's 5 & 1/2 lines, - so sue me.

What's that about a Belgian treaty?? Problem with these very short histories is that they hardly explain anything.

What Belgian history basically is about:

Getting conquered, plundered & raped by Romans --> Franks --> (Germans) --> French --> Burgundians --> Austrians (Habsburgers) --> Spanish --> French --> Austrians --> Dutch --> AH we get our own nation! :grin --> we do some raping & plundering of our own in Congo :blush --> Germans --> Germans again :getlost --> who's next? get in line! *wink*

I'm not sure if it's all exact but I think I'm quite close.

[Sidus Preclarum]

Originally posted by CaptainCernick@May 3 2005, 08:59 AM


What's that about a Belgian treaty?? Problem with these very short histories is that they hardly explain anything.

What Belgian history basically is about:

Getting conquered, plundered & raped by Romans --> Franks --> (Germans) --> French --> Burgundians --> Austrians (Habsburgers) --> Spanish --> French --> Austrians --> Dutch --> AH we get our own nation! :grin --> we do some raping & plundering of our own in Congo :blush --> Germans --> Germans again :getlost --> who's next? get in line! *wink*

I'm not sure if it's all exact but I think I'm quite close.

maybe
but the ales kick ****** ... :p

[CaptainCernick]

Originally posted by Sidus Preclarum@May 3 2005, 10:02 AM
but the ales kick ****** ... :p

:blush Ah now I'm blushing. You know, it's VERY inapropriate for a Belgian to be proud of his country
But whenever I think of our Beer, I just can't help feeling proud.

Here, have a Blonde Leffe *clinks glasses*

[Xiaodun]

Originally posted by Rutilius Rufus@May 3 2005, 09:42 AM
I know this is off topic, but what do you mean by that?

This is offtopic too but I mean that the Americans didnt abolish slavery among the world, nor was the first nation to abolish slavery.

You cant win everything. Meh.

[A Spartan Soldier]

DeathDoom they meant abolishing slavery in our own country, no one said anything about the world or being the first.

[Xiaodun]

Originally posted by A Spartan Soldier@May 3 2005, 10:24 AM
DeathDoom they meant abolishing slavery in our own country, no one said anything about the world or being the first.

I realize that now but its easy to misunderstand when abolishing slavery is listed with downfall of global facism and global communism and fighting global terrorism.

[Otto von Lanstien]

What's that about a Belgian treaty?? Problem with these very short histories is that they hardly explain anything.

Oh we had a treaty dating back from 1837 or something (some WW1 boff will correct me on this :whistle ) and that was one of the reasons (or maybe one of the main reasons) why Britian we entered the war.

Either way, as it was all before my time I only miss the British Empire as a concept, but I would say that we (all independant now) still have the commonwealth ( and don't forget the ashes! :8 ) and good respectibility.

Nowadays it is of course much fairer, altough it cannot be said in many cases that the breakdown of the empire was a good thing. This is true for many nations of today notably in Africa; where many humanitarian crises are emerging. Although of course inequalities exist, I assure you that people would choose a full belly and safety over full liberty and justice in most cases. Personally I wish they could have all of these, but I do recognise that the empire was good at least in securing some aspects of this, as many of the petty corrupt nations of today clearly aren't.

[marvingardns]

America: Once upon a time, some of the Crown's rich white slaveowning subjects felt ingratitude for His Majesty's benevolent rule and declared independence because they didn't want to pay their taxes. Later, these same people felt guilty enough to shoot each other to settle their differences over slavery and secession. After troubled times of making their employees happy and disenfranchising the poor, America grew quite powerful, self-righteous and arrogant with herself.

By the way... only an American like myself can get away saying something like that. Foreigners don't know what they're talking about when they say the same thing... so mind your business. *tongue*

j/k

[Garbarsardar]

Hesiodous,Plato,Socrates,Persian wars,Thermopylae,Marathon,Parthenon,Sparta,Athens, democracy,Civil War, the masscre in Sphacteria, Aristotles,Alexander,Roman conquest,Costantinople,Byzantines, Religion is politics, the blinding of 10.000 bulgarian prisoners,Crusades,Costantinople has fallen,Istambul,turkish occupation,revolution,1890 war with the turks,wwi,balkan wars,dictatorship,wwii,civil war, immigration in the US, immigration in germany and belgium,first socialist government, CIA,military dictatorship,revolt,no to the king, democracy again, 2 poetry nobels and the worst psychiatric asylum in europe, EU, recretely financing the serbs, 76 byzantine churches but no university in my hometown, and who gives a **** if the economy is going berserk now that we are European champions, my children will remember Achilles with blond hair and high boots.


that was 5 lines when I typed..... :blush