Medieval Mafia Write up Thread
For reference all day & night write ups are posted here, all have some type of clue in, so if your in an investigative mood you might want to look here!
Day 1
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Master pope (who had miraculously gathered an audience from every religion) sat down in Rome to a council of Nobles from every nation
The pope seated himself and the silent diplomats from each nation waited with great expectancy
'We are gathered here to root out the heretics in black disguises' the Pope then extends his figure out to the audience and shakes it rampantly, his advisor wonders what he is doing
Advisor: Oh great and noble Lord, I hate to question you, but all that finger shaking can't help your arthritis can it?
Pope: Be quiet!
After the pope's rambling everyone looked where the Pope's finger had fixated, he was pointing at the Milanese Diplomat, who was conveniently the only one in the room sleeping, other than the Portuguese that avoided detection.
Advisor: gasp* to fall asleep in the Master popes presence!
Everyone let out a massive whelp! And with that the Milanese woke
Milanese Diplomat: Uh, whaaa, ha! Has the meeting started yet
His face was as luminous as the sun as his embarrassment stacked further and further as everyone lead silent looking at the Italian, other than the still vacant but unnoticed Portuguese still in a heavy slumber.
Pope: Only an impostor would be so ignorant, Guards sent him to the dungeons!
Milanese Diplomat: No but wait I made you a limerick, if you like my limerick will you let me live?
Pope: uh----
Milanese Diplomat: Thank you!
Do you suspect this Italian man? What hassle has he cause you!?
Surely that Portuguese should be noticed!
He cannot be left to stew!
You accuse Milan of heinous deeds
But look at Spanish Needs!
There costly ships and expensive crew
Why they could be plotting to kill you!
But let me not stop there
Do the scots even care!
There faces resemble guts on a platter
And there voices so raw, they never flatter!
And don't dismiss the sneaky sicilians
Behind that Norman Armor
While they seem so much calmer
They do many a foul play with my pet Llama!
Oh and the
Pope: SHUT UP!
And with the popes words of wisdom The Milanese diplomat had his mouth closed shut with a needle and was placed upside down in a dungeon cave whilst his lower body was crunched into his upper, pushing his neck into his head eventually allowing it to give way and explode, the blood went everywhere, so as to save waste blood hounds were sent in and after licking up some blood they soon continues to rip apart the body and eat every last carcass bone of the sorry Diplomat.
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No One died
Tally (In order of the votes against them)
Milan - 8 (Captain Blackadder, Double A, Khazzar, Tropical Coke, Xavier Dragnesi, Skooma addict,Confederate Jeb, ATPG)
Portugal - 5 (Jubal Barca, Beefy187, Rob the Celt, Muttonchops, DisgruntledGoat)
England - 1 (Chaotix27)
Not Voting - 2 ( RWT, {BHC}warman888,)
Tally inaccurate but im not gonna keep recounting, we know the results and the votes mostly
Alive
RWT
Captain Blackadder
Double A
Rob the Celt
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Tropical Coke
Beefy187
Night 1
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Holy Roman Empire was a vast and prosperous nation so who would suspect it to be a target, It could fend anything off, right? Wrong.
Helicopters flew over all of Germany and within a few minutes they had landed on German Soil, Indian Men drove High tech tanks from the east whilst the west wrought forward the M48 patton Tank divisions, and soon scared spearmen were guarding there keeps against men with guns and tanks, a few explosions blew many of the German settlements to pieces. The Emperor Tropical Coke of The Empire even went forth with his Gothic knights.
'HAHA THEY ARE DOOMED' he bellowed
Not long later he was machine gunned down
By this stage the Germans army consisted of peasantry and they therefore failed to fend the 21st century off entirely.
After the land had been ransacked it was soon stripped bare again, the outside world clueless and knew nothing better than to invade the empty land assuming the Germans had gone on vacation somewhere.... The town names had been updated on the mafia database system including the Grand capital of Berlin.....
As the HRE had lay down in ruin hope was still not lost, though the pope didn't seem to mind much, he was always jealous of them anyway.
Alive
RWT
Captain Blackadder
Double A
Rob the Celt
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Commiserations
Day 2
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Master Pope soon returned to his audience the next day in the hope fruitful conversation would be made today, at least.
He cumbersomely stood up and chanted
'All heretics must die, all PAGANS MUST DIE!'
The Timurid diplomat was offended but quite the pipsqueak to, only the Mongolian seemed truly bothered, well it was hard to tell if he was bothered or not, though he did run up to the Pope's throne and lunge his sword at him. The mongolian sword was deflected off of a guards sword placed with perfect precision, A fight with 40 guards against one mongolian madman had started. Whilst the pope was holding up his portable cross and yelling like a deranged swashbuckler.
The Mongolian threw some chairs at a guards face and he fell back into the masses, the diplomat was soon to reveal a fine short-bow from under his robe and even though firing accurately, all fire deflected from the wealthy guardsmen' metal breastplate. Soon the mongolian stood in front of a spanish diplomat and Portuguese, and with one massive boot from the spanish diplomat the Mongol lost his balance and fell into capture and for his deeds, death.
But just before death the Mongol twittered a word or two
'You mocked my life religion and customs,
So I was sure to lunge and charge you
But excuse my horrid temper
My anger overgrew
I do suspect a few however who did less than honorable things
This Timurid wouldn't help at all
This Spaniard whilst fighting
He made me fall
With such failing courage and dubious then
And they still sit pretty like innocent men'
'ENOUGH!' bellowed the pope again.
The mongols attempt to kill the pope made it ironic that his method of death was to be bludgeoned to death by many a wooden cross, blue in colour but were turned a horrifying red once the victim had been bled to death. His bashed in corpse was sent back to the main hall and lead in front of the pope on a huge platter as a reminder of what crossing the pope means....
--------------
No one died
Alive
Yoyoma1910
Captain Blackadder
Double A
Rob the Celt
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Replaced
RWT
-------------------------------------
Night 2
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
In the year 1547
Whilst Denmark rejoiced in there spoils from territory taking it soon became obvious that there victory was to be short lived, The Danes real union sparked some inactive agents from the 21st century yet again, helicopters flew from only one direction this time as space rockets were sighted crashing into Frankfurt & New Berlin After vast areas of the land were contaminated tanks and AEK-919 wielding foot infantry stormed Germany and Scandinavia, The Danes soon felt the wrath and consequence of taking vacant land.
Danish heavily armored axe men were shot down by machine guns in vast proportions but they were more numerous, the Danes set up ambushes and succeeded in killing various infantry, catapults and bombards set there aims on the gigantic tanks but missed in most cases, the aircraft destroyed many a Danish fortification and left them in ruin, the kill ratio was somewhere in the region of 1400:1 the wounded 6000:1 and suicides 4:400 ! Soon though with causalities the 21st century won the medieval, And at the last keep in Oslo King Captain Blackadder Marched his huscurls out into the surrounding forest, it wasn't long until he was found and destroyed. The grounds lay barren once more, and communication was so little that few even knew what had happened so recently to the world, the Mafia packed away in there helicopters, ones that even carry tanks! And left in varying directions....
The Pope knew though, and threw his Portable cross a whole 3 yards in frustration
Alive
RWT
Double A
Rob the Celt
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
----------------------------
Day 3
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Pope sat at his throne sleeping whilst diplomat's argued, The previously sleeping Portuguese Diplomat slept again this time snoring incredibly loud, he woke the Pope and his fate was sealed.
'YOUR NATION DARED SLEEP IN MY PRESENCE!'
The pope's adviser covered his ears as his master bellowed at high decibels
The Portuguese diplomat soon jumped out of his chair from the shock
'My nation don't sleep in your presence my lord, only I do, uhh I mean....'
Despite the Pope's complete and utter frustration a few shifty () looking people voted away from the norm when the lynch results came in, Russia and Portugal were equally hated but the Pope happily rigged the results to ensure his catholic enemy got there comeuppance.
Before he was sent to the Hanging square in the dungeons the Portuguese man dramatically put his hand to his head and keeled on the floor, begging to the Pope.
'I cannot help the fact that I do not suffer
do not suffer with that thing known as insomnia
I sleep heavy and carry many a bag
under my eyes, oh how they sag!
So in my will
If I am the one that's killed
make sure that Russian buffet
gets victimized and roughs it!
And if all else fails then kill the Turks!
All that arguing gives us very few perks
And makes people lurk!'
The pope clubbed the man with his cross
'WHY DO THESE NUTCASES ALL SING LIMERICKS BEFORE THEY DIE!'
The guards didn't bother hanging him and just beheaded him with there halberds and stuck the head on the town hall welcome sign.....
With the third musical lynch in place portugals sparce lands were up for grabs....
----------------------------
yoyoma1910 died
Alive
Double A
Rob the Celt
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
-------------------------------
Night 3
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Byzantine Emperor was a noble man, guarded this time by 6 thick stone walls...
however
he could never of seen some alien tanks and soldiers, aircraft and even navy accompanied them with CH-47 Chinooks landing with a strange engraved proverb on the bottom 'Better alone than poorly accompanied' Only they weren't poorly accompanied at all, tanks similar to before lined up at the walls and started firing, half of the outer wall was already shattered but The Emperor was cleverer than to let his men tremble while there city was desecrated, some arrogant Soldiers poured through the gates, only to meet varangian axemen, from an old era they may have been, they were fearsome enough to rout the 21st century, not before some axes embedding themselves in the cowards backs, the Tanks drove over the city of Constantinople and it's debris the deadly foreign weapon was revealed, the Verdeja Howitzers Launched into the cities centre destroying the entire settlements middle, however The Emperor was cleverer still, it was a fake city, made of paper!
'HAHA! FOOLS! DECOYS! DECOYS!' Boomed the proud Emperor who soon releazied the troops were heading for the real city this time and soon panicked As the maddened Tank drivers peeked out to see the true city far ahead, ten times the size of the paper one, from there it looked bigger than his own country even! As the slow drive commenced towards the towering city the Chinooks dropped off some bombs, unexpectedly they dispersed in the Air as Naphtha was thrown at the same time for a skilled clash of explosive in the area like a gigantic firework display.
Patton tanks approached again, M47 & M48 Models, but there tired tracks halted amongst meeting a bed of stones and rough terrain, planted in perfect range for the Trezibond Guard archers to light there fire arrows, the tank drivers were burnt alive as the fire arrows ignited there machines, with the power removed the soldiers were chased away with the axemen that visited them only minutes ago!
'THEY WON'T BE BOTHERING US AGAIN IN A HURRY!'
The assault at seas was swift too, even though the 21st century navy was absolutely supurb, they were outnumbered massively and were sunk in the deep ancient merciless medieval world.
-------------------------------
No one died
Alive
Double A
Rob the Celt
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
Sithlord447
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
-------------------------------
The dawn 3 phrase is non-existant
-------------------------------
Begin Day 4
Day 4
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Soon the Pope returned to his throne and remembered that the Russians were also on the chopping block.
He whispered into his advisers ear:
Pope: psst, what do you think to that beer swigging fur covered drunkard over there.
Advisor: Um mm gummy, I think he's Russian
Pope: I Don't like his choice of hat...
Advisor: His boots are just hideous...
Pope: Just think of what those fashion offenders could be up to in there barren homelands, it scares me!
'YOU! YES YOU! NAME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULD LET YOU LIVE!'
The Russian saw the finger of suspicion upon him and fell over drunk and a little surprised, he was at the Pope's feet, and his mercy....
The Pope smiled, not before telling the guards to take him away, there was a strange clinking sound as he was carried out, as whilst being burned upon a crimson scored furnace a foreign semi circular shaped oddity was found on the floor by it.
It was brought to the pope, and the guard was ordered to be killed for wasting his time...
there were no limericks, no rhymes this time, and this pleased the miserable Religiously hypocritical Papacy.
----------------------------------------
Rob The Celt died
Alive
Double A
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
Rob the Celt
----------------------------
Dawn 4
Choose who gets Rob The Celt's Russian Land:
Timurids
Turkey
Byzantines
Hungary
Poland
Vote for who you want to get the land now...!
Night 4
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Just as the Byzantine Emperor was getting life back in order the hordes came again.
The same tanks, the same soldiers, the same everything.
But different tactics.
There were no decoys now, the tanks moved forward and shot Constantinople's walls down as rock beds weren't prepared the tanks stormed forward, the naphtha squads killed, therefore allowing the Chinooks to drop there bombs, as Constantinople lie in ruin The 21st century were rather pleased with themselves, with only seconds before finding the emperor in his inner fort it was terrible for them that, on the horizon lay easily 10x what the 21st century fielded in numbers, reserves from Russia & West Turkey, Greece & Siberia marched forward and charged the mechanical machines, the tanks with immense courage, but the Patton's shot there suicial foe down, Catapults came forward in the distance and flung gigantic boulders, the line of tanks were bombarded with vicious artillery, to an attempt to prevent this the gun wielding soldiers killed there medieval militia foe, and approached the artillery, but as they got into firing range the guns jammed or were too little in ammo to do large damage, and soon a pinser movement with platoons of horse archers picked off the weary infantry, the Pattons obliterated the archery however, each blast taking triple figures off of there mounts.
The battle could have gone either way, but the final blow came when the surrounded tanks and chinooks ran out of petrol, immboblie and still bombarded there machines were destroyed and therefore the passengers too.
-----------------------------
no one died
Alive
Double A
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
Rob the Celt
---------------------
no dusk, start day 5
Day 5
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Pope grew tried of killing people, so he was surprised to see someone volunteer, fortunately a trip to the popes psychiatric carer sorted this poor suicidal man out, however a Moorish diplomat couldn't help but attempt to kill the suicidal man.
'YOUR THE POPE! AND HE TRIED TO DEFY THE BIBLE! THE TEN COMMANDMENTS!'
the moorish diplomat suddenly realized who he was talking to, but it was too late.
'I AM THE POPE, AND HE DID DEFY THE BIBLE! BUT I'M ATHEIST NOW! MWHAHAHAHAHA!
KILL HIM!'
It was clear who won the shouting contest as the moorish man was about to be killed the suicdal man took out a knife and aimed it at his chest, he closed his eyes, but as the knife reached the chest he felt nothing....
the guards placed the moorish man in front of the blade, whilst keeping his mouth buttoned...literally to avoid the suicidal man gaining suspicion. The Moor was dead, a knife to the heart and the suicidal man had the weapon confiscated as he lay there sucking his thumb and asking for his mum.
As the Moor fell down to the floor a letter fell out of his pocket, a poem of sorts.
'I'm here to obey the law
My sultan knows it and loves me
I will ask and find out more
From this foreign land I will see
See what odditys I may find
And see of this corrupt pope
Follow my relgious mandate with my mind
If I fail I'll hang myself with some rope
If I die don't read this letter, I fear it isn't suitable
Dammit I should have put this at the start!
If Sultan knew this doucment would be found
he'd of had me in a blueberry tart!'
The pope was bewildered and simply refered to this Moor as a troubled man, his body flesh was crushed into a blueberry tart much later on for the pope to enjoy where no prying eyes could accuse him of cannibalism.
-------------------------------
Khazzar is dead
Day 5
Alive
Double A
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
DisgruntledGoat
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
Rob the Celt
Khaazar
----------------------------
Night 5
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Byzantines were now stripped of resource, there lands were bleak and empty, deprived of military they had one disadvantage that these strange 21st century being didn't, they hadn't the endurance, so when the mafia returned again Speculation of there immortality spread, the emperor simply surrendered and allowed his legacy to disperse into chaos, as the 21st century bought even larger armies victory seemed unachievable
The Byzantines were smuggled into other expanding nations to help there growth, the plains of Russia and Asia Minor were empty all for left livestock and traditional spies from neighboring provinces.
------------------------
Sithlord447 died
Alive
Double A
Xavier Dragnesi
ATPG
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
Rob the Celt
Khazzar
Sithlord447
---------------------
Day 6
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
As the votes came in today the pope was outraged with the lack of support from the diplomats.
Pope: How many are there?
Advisor: 4.....
Pope: Guards, kill this man.
Abruptly it turned out he was talking to a Turkish diplomat from the front row, who happened to share is nationality with the popes real adviser.
The Turk was killed on the spot, a halberd through the heart, by now the diplomats had seen enough to be in a psychiatric unit by now, but still cowered nonetheless.
The Turk sung as he died, reinforcing the fact that the atmosphere he was in must have been maddening. But this was happy and chirpy singing oddly.
'And so I meet my God at last
My mortal life's been set a cast.
I only hope that when I get there
I'll for once in my life
Be treated with care
I'll parade my tip toes over heavens gardens
and laugh from above
for I'll have great love, when that day comes
when the Pope goes to hell
They'll chop off his thumbs
They'll rip out his tum!
They'll even burn his bum!
Because those sins in life
those sins so rife
will be taken to the other side.'
The Pope was fortunate he was preoccupied cursing other diplomats to notice this speech, otherwise he could have got much more agitated, agitated enough to blow up all of Northern Italy even.
---------------------------------
ATPG is dead
Day 6
Alive
Xavier Dragnesi
Muttonchops
Jubal_Barca
{BHC}warman888
Confederate Jeb
Skooma Addict
Sithlord447
Chaotix27
Beefy187
Dead
Tropical Coke
Captain Blackadder
Yoyoma1910
Rob the Celt
Khaazar
DisgruntledGoat
ATPG
------------------------
