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Thread: Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!

  1. #1
    molls's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!


    New Lands lie before us, new challenges await us, new stories are to be told!


    Jubilee time!
    The 20th TotW Contest has started + Christmas

    =

    Argent Usher's christmas card:









    Rules:




    1. Post a short text about this picture, with min. 200 max. 400 words, in a spoiler, with the picture in the front.


    2. If you are a contestant you are honour bound to not read other contestants' writings until you have submitted yours.



    3. The winner gets 1 point on the Leaderboard, if there are at least 4 contestants.

    4. Deadline: last day of each week (Sunday).

    Last edited by molls; December 22, 2008 at 10:14 AM.

  2. #2
    Manoflooks's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!



    Delusions of the Deranged
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Dec 1


    Santa Claus. That egomaniacal selfish attention grabbing son of a . I hate him. He is the only person in the world I hate, and I hate him with a passion. Seriously, my hatred of him knows no bounds. I go around, trying to spread happiness and joy, but does anyone eery thank me for it? NO!!! I am celebrated 1 day a year. 1 DAY! That's it. No lights, no trees, no store sales. NOTHING. And he gets worldwide reknown and recognition, for putting a bunch of midgets and reindeer into service for him.
    He called me earlier today. Wanted to know how my preperations for Christmas were coming on. The bastard. Always rubbing it in my face. Did I mention I hate him?

    That was the last straw.

    Dec 8

    I called a friend, an assassin for the assassin's guild. A good guy, who goes by the name of Christoforo Rossi. He owes me for giving him an alibi when he was cheating on his wife a couple months back, and if he doesn't help he knows what will happen. I asked for a little "help" with the jolly old elf. And a videotape of how it went.

    Dec 28

    The videotape arrived. And it was the best thing I have ever seen.

    The old man was coming back up a chimney, from yet another of the billions of break and enters he commits every year. And my friend left him a gift. A highly explosive gift.
    It was great. The old man's eyes opened wide in terror, before the explosion shot him up, up, and away. No "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" this time. It was just "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"


    -The Diary of the Easter Bunny

    Last edited by Manoflooks; December 28, 2008 at 03:51 AM.
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  3. #3

    Default Re: Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Jolly saint Charles crept on the rooftops, annoyed that he had to walk this far just to get to his own fricken house. He had dressed up as Santa and all, but the costume was ruined by the soot billowing from chimneys.

    Chimneys!!!!!

    Dear god, santa probly has some burnt buns cooking right now, least I only have one chimney to go down, and a candle to light my way.

    These clothes are too dang hot he thought, taking off his supposedly jolly coat, and putting the hood on his hoodie up to keep the soot out of his eyes. As he passed one house he almost slipped by saved himself by jumping to the church roof. As he crept past the chimney he heard a voice.

    "God damn these cursed chimneys, Rudolph, im suck again. Get the harness."
    "Sir, do you need help?" Charles said, but instantly regretted it.
    "Your not Rudolph? that godforsaken deer cannot do a job correctly for his life, well, i have a harness sitting by the chimney, just drop it down for me and raise me up."

    Charles struggled, pulling the man out inch by inch, but when he raised the man up, the man just began screaming.

    "Its a theif, he wants my presents, no one steals from santa." Pulling out his whip that he reserved for Rudolph (Who at times got very roudy with the eggnog)

    He began to whip the man, until he fell off the christmas chimney with care. Not disrupting a single soul with santa there.
    This has to be one of the best pictures you had ever.
    Last edited by TheTrueGreek; December 26, 2008 at 01:59 PM.
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  4. #4
    Kátz's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!

    Reserved.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Medieval Santa

    Santa knows the technology of the 22th century. Seeing poverty in the Medieval Ages. Santa decided to create a time machine to transfer himself to the aforementioned timeframe. What is his present is only known to Santa's factory. Santa himself only received a very little bit of information : The presents are all Medieval-themed!

    Tonight is December 25th of the 11th Century. And Santa is roaming around the walls, throwing out presents. Santa had examined the place carefully. He had known every corner of this town. Everything had seemed to have gone well. Until finally, he given somebody a bomb, Truthfully, he did not know what was inside, it can be a sword, knife, butter, bread or anything, Secrecy is assured to the Santa Factory.

    The person he gave the bomb was none other than Altair, an old face around the town, A feared slayer. And more renownly called 'The Assassin'. Santa however does not know anything about the folks around 'ere. Stumbling upon him, Without losing mood and confidence. Santa gave him the bomb as requested, strange, the ignition of the bomb has started since it was given! Returning from the balcony, Santa sets out to give more people more presents. Mysterious, No one ever knows he is there, except Altair. He waited to kill him!

    Clad in black jacket, Altair's first priority is to bomb Santa away from his town. For some unknown reason he hated Santa very much as though he had killed his parents! Carefully, he made sure that the bomb's voice is unheard by anybody. Seems like everybody is sleeping quietly. And it seems there are only two souls in this town. That is Santa and Altair.

    Moon was facing the Santa, as is his fear. Once, somebody from his factory talked :
    "When the full moon shines upon you, comes the trouble."

    Santa loses his confidence as he gave out more and more presents to more and more people around the town while Altair is slowly creeping into Santa. Finally, when he had finished giving out presents and just set to return home to the 22th Century. A sound can be heard just while he is climbing out of the balcony. It hits Santa real hard.

    *BOOM!!!*

    Santa has heard the voice, the bomb sets him flying away. Along his last breath his last words came out : LOL!!!!!!

    THE END.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!

    And I actually have something. A story, or a poem at any rate. Nothing in the rules against poetry is there?


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Twas the Fright Before Christmas
    Twas the night before Christmas,
    When upon a rooftop of slate,
    An assassin was lurking,
    And Death he doth wait;
    His cowl was pulled low, fire danced in his eyes,
    And now! Look up! Look up to the skies!
    The townsfolk were lying all snug in their beds,
    While dreams of the morrow swirled in their heads;
    The spy on the rooftop, and the saint in his sleigh,
    No one knew what would come at the breaking of day,
    But on dashed the sleigh and on dashed the saint,
    Toward a danger from which most men would faint;
    From the skies of the north! With a loud rushing noise!
    Come St. Nick, his reindeer, and his pack of toys!
    The moon in the sky did shine oh so bright,
    Lighting the way for St. Nicholas that night.
    On the top of the roof the sleigh it did halt,
    And St. Nick jumped out with the things he had brought.
    A doll for the girl, and a drum for the boy,
    Muffled and soft, so as not to annoy.
    A pipe for the husband, and a dress for the wife,
    The spy he lurked there, in his hand was a knife.
    And the saint he looked out o'er the streets of the town,
    Little knowing that Old Nick himself had come down.
    He walked over to the chimney, and he got such a fright!
    For the spy rose up, straight out of the night!
    “Good evening,” stammers Nick, and, “How do you do?”
    Then down he falls, straight down through the flue!
    The spy he laughed, for he meant no harm,
    Only thinking to give St. Nick an alarm;
    And he was heard to exclaim,
    as he walked off through the night,
    “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright!”
    Last edited by molls; January 01, 2009 at 08:01 AM.
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  6. #6
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
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    Default Re: Tale of the Week 20 - Christmas Stories!

    A small cautionary tale. I didn't make up Nakles (pronounced Nay-Kals), he was the subject of a short-story I read many years ago about which I now remember almost nothing, except for the cart and the black sack.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Nakles

    Everyone knows about Santa Claus, children write him letters and try to make him welcome by leaving out food and drink. But few dare speak of his shadowy alter-ego, perhaps for fear of attracting his attention, because no one wants a visit from Nakles.

    While Santa pilots his sleigh through the cold crisp night air of Christmas Eve, Nakles drives his black cart, drawn by nine gigantic naked moles, through the ancient tunnels that lie beneath every town and village (even yours).

    Nakles has a supernatural sense of smell, he can even detect the odour of unclean thoughts, and should a child be undeserving, Nakles will come. If they are lucky, he will merely put their presents in his great black sack and leave a lump of coal to remind them of their sin. But if he is angry (which he often is), it is the child that goes into the sack, and those children are never seen again.

    I embarked on the flight this Christmas Eve with a sense of dread. Nowhere in this world seems immune to change, not even the North Pole (did you know that our manufacturing facilities now have to be supported on pontoons?). I think the rot set in when we allowed the Coca Cola corporation to sponsor our clothing (have you any idea how much ermine costs these days). But now, perhaps driven by the Credit Crunch, we were going to be required to leave cards at every house asking the children to leave a Coke and a MacDonalds Happy Meal™ next year instead of the traditional milk and cookies.

    At first things went well, chasing the instant of midnight around the world, we had got as far as Boston. I was wearing my smog mask while holding the reindeer, so I failed to see Nakles until it was too late to intervene.

    As Santa emerged from his latest delivery and card-drop, milk and cookie crumbs still adorning his beard, Nakles stepped up and administered the Vapour of Forgetfulness. Santa slumped, and Nakles swept him into his great black sack and melted back into the night.

    Next Christmas, I would advise you all to be on your best behaviour, Nakles never did like Santa, so after a year of his company he is going to be looking extra-hard for the undeserving and the mean-of-spirit. Fear the great black sack!
    Last edited by Juvenal; December 29, 2008 at 02:45 AM.
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