Scytho-Sarmatian Libation of Liberation

[Legio]

The battle with the Romans was fierce.Timoleon was brave. But the Romans had Medusa herself on their side!Wrong Total War game!
With shock, Antigonos watched the world before him enveloped in black. He woke up on the barbarous shores of Scythia...TO BE CONTINUED!

[Dog Fart]

Back by popular demand! And not a moment too soon. The "Medussa" bit really had my laughing! Good to see Conqubine 1 again. She certainly gets me petrified.



BTW, that pic is awesome!

[Legio]

Thanks, it is from Spartan Total Warrior, also by CA and Sega! But the history and storyline is awfulin that game. You can kill 500+ enemies in each level.

[Dog Fart]

"EDITED"

Blah! I went off topic.

[Legio]

The models in that pic are killer. I wonder if they could be used or converted for rtw.

I will check if they made a PC version, I own the one for PS2.:hmmm:

[Scutarii]

Awesome. Legio's back.

[Webba]

Oh this is going to be brilliant! Can't wait, Legio

[Legio]

~DELETED~

[Stilgar CG]

The battle with the Romans was fierce.Timoleon was brave. But the Romans had Medusa herself on their side!Wrong Total War game!
With shock, Antigonos watched the world before him enveloped in black. He woke up on the barbarous shores of Scythia...TO BE CONTINUED!

LC, what would your AARs be without this lady?

[Legio]

@ME- I promise this is the last time.@Everyone-Has my writing style become that bad?Am I the only one who cannot see the pics?

[Stilgar CG]

@ME- I promise this is the last time. ...

That's pity, LC. Concubine nr 1 was quite a character. Btw, the imageshack link does not work for me.

[Legio]

Yeah, I will redo chapter one tomight. Sorry for the disappontment.

[Legio]

Chapter One, Part One- Vengeance
I was washed up on the shores of Scythia and I was welcomed. More than I can say for my fellow Greeks in the Bosphorus. If it was not for some of my old troops washing up on the shore, I would have been totally reliant on the local barbarians. We occupied the large city of Olbia from these heathen easternized Greeks and I stationed most of my old troops there.
Antigonos: My name in this barbarous Sarmtian tongue is Ampytriasixoxcatuvellaunusalesia somewhat or other. With my diplomat I tried to negotiate with the barbarized hellenes. They would not listen and showed my maps of the current political situation. In my absence, the Romans had regained Cannae and the local Greeks back in the Balkans had thrown themselves under tyrannical Macedonian rule! I knew what I had to do. With a force of local auxiliaries I besieged Chersonesus. I would have my vengeance on my traitorous comrades.




I ordered my loyal hoplites to tear down the walls, and they did, allowing my barbarian cavalry to thunder in!
Most of my cavalry was comprised of horse archers, so I was alone in the melee with the enemy general. What an ugly name. I would hate by called that.

Of course he died fast. I mean, we had bing cataphracts against Greek cavalry. Of ocurse, my old bodyguards would fare better, but what can I say? I also miss Timoleon especially.
And as the last bodyguard was slain I ordered my hoplites to charge gloriously! Does the following pic remind you of my Greek sojourn? I think it does!


After the battle
Antigonos: Ah, it is a good day to be a barbarian!
Thracian Merc: I know you! I see you in Hegemonygeowhgnt of thrhe balkansjfhirh! You left me in Seutopolis.
Antigonos: Oh no! Have you seen Timoleon? Or at least my thorakitai? The Cretans? I miss those silly hats!

Armed with my old journals and battle plans (and of course, the Complete Idiot's Guide to Barbarian tactics plundered from Olbia's library) I set off to besiege Panticapaea!

[Legio]

Okay guys, chapter one redone. Feedback? Is my humor rusty?be brutally honest. Be like concubine one.

[Scutarii]

You still got it. But its never quite as funny without concubine 1...

[Legio]

*breathes a sigh of relief*
I have had so many terrible experiences lately that I was scared I lost it.
I will fit her in...guess who has the "exotic slave" trait.

[Kátz]

Good start.

[Legio]

Thanks wr1ght, and for those who are completely confuzzled by all this concubine, and antigonos jargon, click the word "my" in my sig, it is the Hegemony AAR.
Update Saturday or Sunday.

[Webba]

Very entertaining Legio! Looking forward to your next post.

[Legio]

Chapter Two- Reunited, and It Feels So Good!

As I have said before, I had besieged Panticapaea. I was just about to storm the filthy nest of dogs when a messenger ran in. This was the same messenger who had ruined my Persian rug a few years back, but I forgave him after the Romans forced him to perform in a production of Ovid's Metaphorphoses.

Messenger: Sire!
Antigonos: What now?
Messenger: Timoleon! He is nearby! He is alive!

With that he handed me a neatly written letter stating that the Tanais river had washed him up in the Sarmatian heartland, but he was already nearing Olbia with a fellow Greek who had deserted from Tomi. The native Sarmatians were particularly brilliant! They understood the gift of language!


However, Timoleon was also ill. He left his teddy bear back in Sparta, and could not sleep without it. We would have to march there as quickly as possible!



In order for my Sarmatian hosts to grace me with some kick-butt reinforcements, however, I had to do one more little thing for them. Take Panticapaea!
My loyal hoplites breached the walls and I charged in with some particularly fearsome light cavalry. I mean fearsome! Remember that Hellenic swallow back in Thessalonica? Well, it was wedged in one of the horse's teeth!



As I neared the town square, I confronted the garrison commander, Cherson.

Antigonos:That silly green is not your color!
Cherson: If I could turn back ti-ime!
Antigonos: If I could find a wa-ay!
Together:I'd take back those words that hurt you, and I'd stay!!!!!!!!!
Antigonos: Enough, enough, what does your name mean?
Cherson: I am Cher, son!

With that the enemy hoplites charged!


My cavalry also wrecked Cher's bodyguard, and he? she? it? retreated escorted by a few of my mercenaries.



Now Cher would plague Hades and force Hades himself to get a few million facelifts! Oh, the torture!

While Cherson was killed, my light cavalry was destroying the turncoat hoplites. The chopping axes made the brutal work so much easier.


Panticapaea was mine!


After the Battle
Life was good. The Sarmatians had granted us military aid. We could have as many Noble Archers and Noble Lancers as we wanted just as soon as Olbia finished constructing the facilities necessary for training them- two whole years!