Helios 34: What comes before Part B?

[The Sundance Kid]

Political Mudpit by Thanatos
The Basement by Roman Clone
A Christmas Buyer's Guide of Technology by Freddie
Thema Devia by Elzabar
Curia Sum-up by Caradog
The Ethos, Mores, et Monastica by _Pontifex_
Editorials by The Black Prince and Freddie

So here's what happened. I'm walking along, minding my own business, when suddenly I get a plastic bag shoved over my head and bundled into a car boot. They knock me out and I wake up hours later chained to a wooden chair in a dank and grimy dungeon somewhere. There's a guy in the corner and he tells me not to do anything stupid. "Why am I here?" I ask valiantly. "Why have you done this?"

"Freddie's orders, guv," replies the figure, stepping out of the shadows to reveal a face with considerably more stubble than I have, but considerably less hair and teeth. "He doesn't want you messin' 'is big day up, know wot I mean?" I clearly don't, but he seems to have nothing more to say as a figure strolled into the room, white tailcoat swishing with his stride. He glances me up and down and removes his white bowler hat, showing Freddie's grinning face.

"So sorry it had to be this way, old chum," he chortles, spinning a cane around his computer-trained fingers. "It's just I'm terribly tired of playing, shall we say, second fiddle to you dastardly fellows, Tom Paine and Scorch and all that, that I couldn't simply bide my time any longer. I've got plans, you see, ambitions, and I can't let you get in the way."

"What are you talking about?" I exclaim, struggling at my bonds. Freddie chuckles drily. "Oh, my dearest Sundance," he says, "the Helios editorship. If I don't get it, my plans are ruined. Now, I must be going, your issue is already late. Ta-ta."

He exits with the guard as I rattle my chains furiously. Not on my watch, he isn't!

With an almighty effort I heave myself to my feet and crash against the side of the dungeon. Sure enough, the poorly-made chair buckles, and after another smash a leg breaks loose. Shaking the debris off my back and my wrists out of the shackles, I kick down the dungeon door, punching a guard unconscious as he turns with a shocked expression.

Grabbing his submachine gun from him I run to the stairwell, hurtling up it as more guards ascend from below, bellowing and shouting. I fire a few volleys down into their midst and burst out of the top onto the stone ramparts of a Medieval Castle. "Freddie, you vain bastard," I mutter, turning to face the guards pouring through the archway.

I riddle the opening with bullets, sending many of them tumbling back below. However, their sheer numbers force me back until I reach the parapet, pressed to the stone. Click. Click. Click. Click. I stare helplessly at the gun. Silently, I drop it to the ground.

"Nowhere to run, Mr. Ex-editor," grins the head guard, levelling his pistol. "Time to say g'bye..."

Smiling calmly at him, I raise my hands.

"Goodbye," I whisper, and jump backwards off the parapet, plunging into the icy waters of the lake below.

* * *

A week later, and I burst into the newsroom, my clothes torn and my jacket bloodied. Freddie glances around wild-eyed, having a small seizure at the sight of me. I stalk over and glare at him for a few seconds, very hard. I then turn to Thanatos and nod once. "So," I say, panting for breath, "Who's up first?"

The Political Mudpit

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

“Suit up. We’re going in again, and it’s worse than ever. Our objective i-“

*KHKGDFKHGKHKH*

“And so, in 1492, Columbu-“

*KHGKHKGHKHKH*

*TV fades into a white dot*

Enough of that rubbish. You’re going to rot your brain that way, everyone knows that history and action movies don’t teach you anything, and they sure as heck aren’t entertaining.

You want some mud, don’t you? You want some gossip and some verbal sound clips of shouted rage, don’t you? Yeah, you know you look forward to seeing just how depraved your fellow TWCers are…

Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s delve right in. Take my hand, you’ll be fine.

First up, we have a thread that asks if the USA supports terrorism!

Mike Hunt kicked the topic off with some thoughts of his:

To say that the US foreign policy is total hypocrisy would be a vast understatement!

One recent example of this is recognizing the independence of the Serbian province of Kosovo.
Not only does this undermines the territorial integrity of a sovereign nation, it is also illegal under international law, (UN Resolution 1244 and the Helsinki final act).

It has supported the criminal and terrorist government of Kosovo, Hashim Thaci (aka The Snake) the Supreme Commander of KLA. Now the leader of this illegal province.
The KLA was a terrorist organization that was openly being funded and supported by Al-Qaeda and was even on the CIA watch list until 1999.

How can the US punish Serbia for defending its territory against Muslim terrorists, yet it bombs countries like Iraq back to the stone age, kills hundreds of thousands of civilians all under the false pretense of terror and WMD!

How can the US claim to be a just nation when it refuses to accept international law, and insists on being immune from any prosecution by the international court in The Hague?

How can any American accuse others of Nation conquest and terrorism and expect to be taken seriously?

It has 200,000 soldiers permanently stationed in dozens of countries around the globe and its global military presence expands every year.

If it doesn't like another country's economic policies, it tars the leadership as tyrants and brutes, declares the country a dictatorship
While countries whose leaders are tyrants and brutes and who routinely trample human rights are called friends and allies if they have the right economic policies (Iran, Chile, Guatemala, Philippines, El Salvador, Haiti.)

It routinely intervenes in the elections of other countries, funding political parties, NGO's and media, but prohibits other countries from
intervening in its own elections.

It commits war crimes unrestrained, free from censure and prosecution, because it controls the international body that establishes war crimes tribunals. It refuses to sign a treaty to establish a international criminal court that could prosecute war crimes free from its interference. Does the U.S see itself as being above international law?

It's always strapped for cash when it comes to social spending, health care and Social Security, but can find billions at the drop of a hat
for a new weapons program.

The US polices have the effect of intensifying the misery of the world's poor, while increasing the wealth of the country's business elite.

Since World War II, the United States actually dropped bombs on 23 countries.
These include:


China 1945-46, Korea 1950-53, China 1950-53, Guatemala 1954, Indonesia 1958, Cuba 1959-60, Guatemala 1960,
Congo 1964, Peru 1965, Laos 1964-73, Vietnam 1961-73, Cambodia 1969-70, Guatemala 1967-69, Grenada 1983, Lebanon 1984, Libya 1986, El Salvador 1980s, Nicaragua 1980s, Panama 1989, Iraq 1991-1999, Sudan 1998, Afghanistan 1998, and Yugoslavia 1999.

Post World War II, the United States has also assisted in over 20 different coups throughout the world, and the CIA was responsible for half a dozen assassinations of political heads of state.

Lets keep in mind that the US is the only nation on Earth to have ever used a nuclear weapon in anger on civilian (Not military) targets. Hiroshima and Nagasaki, killing almost 200,000 civilians.

It won't commit to refraining from using nuclear weapons against non-nuclear weapon states.
So what right do they have to dictate morality to Iran or N.Korea?

Its now become common knowlegde that the US supported Saddam Hussein while he was poisoning his people in Iraq.
And spent over 2 billion dollars training Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, and also supported Al-Qaeda in Kosovo and Bosnia.
As well as supporting other terrorist organizations like the Albanian KLA.

It has the largest stock pile of of smallpox, anthrax, and other biological chemical weapons in the world. In fact, it has 30,000 tons of chemical weapons.
It refuses to sign a treaty banning land mines.

Etc, etc, etc!
One can go on and on!
You can write several encyclopedias of American war crimes against humanity.

What rights does this country have to impose is warped moral authority on anyone?

They use the most powerful media and propaganda machine in the world to promote their imperialist ideals.

Don't kid yourself that America is about freedom and democracy.

Others, however, were not quite so convinced:

As Viking Price said, your arguments are the typical "I hate America" ranting, which is always carried out with little to no knowledge of the facts. It's so easy to blame America for all the world's problems, when in fact, it's never that easy...

Interesting ideas, but separate the facts from truths via paragraphs or lists or something. The post is hard to read. Also, include some links please to back up your argument.

Mithie brought a more balanced approach to the table:

Uh... Not that I agree with the OP's insane rant or anything, but in the case of today's global economic meltdown, yeah, you can easily blame America for everything.

Obviously, America isn't responsible for everything that happens in the world, but to put things in perspective, she's responsible for a great deal of things that happen in the world solely due to her status as the sole superpower.

Mike Hunt, however, wasn’t finished yet:

To Viking Prince
Thank you for your time and reply

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Hunt
To say that the US foreign policy is total hypocrisy would be a vast understatement!One recent example of this is recognizing the independence of the Serbian province of Kosovo.

Recognition is terrorism in what manner?

First off, Recognition is illegal.
It is a breach of both UN and international law.
Therefore it is a criminal action.
Secondly, the government of this illegal entity had for a long time been considered a terrorist group.
So you have an illegal, terrorist organization that is being supported/funded and promoted by the US government.
This criminal action goes even further by promoting ethnic hatred and instability within the region.
May not be technically terrorism, but it goes a long way to support and promote it.
But if the US is in a giving mood (especially with other peoples territory) why not just give most of California and Texas back to the Mexicans?

Quote:
It has 200,000 soldiers permanently stationed in dozens of countries around the globe and its global military presence expands every year.

Basing of troops with the agreement of the host countries is terrorism in what manner?

At the agreement of the host nation is a very suspect term to say the least. No doubt these nations where pressured and bribed with economic handouts.
US troops are generally stationed in areas where there is conflict. Usually initiated by the US under the false pretense of national security.
And of course we all know that when the US is involved in any armed conflict civilians are the first to suffer. But this is ok because its all collateral damage, and we wouldnt want the US military to be viewed in a bad light, to be responsible for their actions now would we?

Quote:
If it doesn't like another country's economic policies, it tars the leadership as tyrants and brutes, declares the country a dictatorship
While countries whose leaders are tyrants and brutes and who routinely trample human rights are called friends and allies if they have the right economic policies (Iran, Chile, Guatemala, Philippines, El Salvador, Haiti.)

Certainly even in a rant you cannot possibly think that Iran is called a friend and ally? I am also curious as to which of the others are tyrants and which are merely brutes? Please explain. Once you have explained, please also show where we are friends and allies and completely ignore their domestic policies if those are anti democratic -- special attention should be given to Hati.

In regards to Iran i was referring to the Shah

Tyrants & brutes was used to express the same point.
There are countless examples, way to many to mention or to go into detail for this post.

One of the most note worthy is your old pal Saddam.
He was a great pal in the 80's when he was gassing thousands of Kurds, holding public executions. Hell, why not even give him some cash for more weapons? Just so long as he was bombing Iran, he was a good guy.

The US openly supports anti democratic nations like Georgia.
The US has given high profile support for Georgian government in its recent conflict with Russia.
This, despite the fact that the Georgian military initiated the conflict and killed almost 1,400 people within 24 hours. Claims which have also been supported by the BBC.
Georgia is a country whose president won the elections by a comfortable 96%.
Yet when Saddam Husein won in Iraq by 99% than that was declared a dictatorship.
I guess democracy lies somewhere in between huh?
Should i even mention Saudi Arabia, Venezuela or Chile?

Quote:
It commits war crimes unrestrained, free from censure and prosecution, because it controls the international body that establishes war crimes tribunals. It refuses to sign a treaty to establish a international criminal court that could prosecute war crimes free from its interference. Does the U.S see itself as being above international law?

All sovereign nations should resist handing power to international tribunals. Since I still do not see evidence of people withing the USA of being guilty of war crimes -- I will assume that unrestrained is simply rhetorical theatre.

Really??
Then why does the US insist on hunting down alleged war criminals to be sent to the international court in the Hague, yet refuses to adhere to the same rules?
Why does the US choose to get involved in international conflicts, yet refuse to be held accountable for its actions in an international arena?
Why does it promote this process yet refuses to a hear to its laws?
As for war crimes, these are committed by the US almost on a weekly basis in countries such as Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan.
Are civilian deaths not considered a war crime? Is deliberately targeting civilian targets such as factories or suspicious large gatherings not considered a war crime?
Is initiating illegal non UN approved military actions not considered a war crime? Do the victims of these deaths be it justified or not, have the right to be heard and the right to challenge the US military status quo?


Quote:
It's always strapped for cash when it comes to social spending, health care and Social Security, but can find billions at the drop of a hat
for a new weapons program.

Domestic spending choices are terrorism in what manner?

While not directly related to terrorism, it provides a good context.
It shows where the real priorities of the US government are.
On one hand it promotes peace, stability and US national interest, while on the other it ignores its primary duties and responsibilities towards its own people.
Politicians need to understand that they are only public servants.
No, not terrorism, but a crime? Yes, and total hypocrisy for sure!

Quote:
The US polices have the effect of intensifying the misery of the world's poor, while increasing the wealth of the country's business elite.

International aid policices and support for international trade agreements is terrorism in what manner? The millions spent by private charities each and every month is terrorism in what manner?

I'm not speaking about private charities.
The US spends a pittance in foreign aid. Especially when you compare the amount it spends on its military, and in propping up politically friendly governments and dictatorships who havewell known records for oppression and torture against their own people.

Quote:
Since World War II, the United States actually dropped bombs on 23 countries.
These include:
China 1945-46, Korea 1950-53, China 1950-53, Guatemala 1954, Indonesia 1958, Cuba 1959-60, Guatemala 1960,
Congo 1964, Peru 1965, Laos 1964-73, Vietnam 1961-73, Cambodia 1969-70, Guatemala 1967-69, Grenada 1983, Lebanon 1984, Libya 1986, El Salvador 1980s, Nicaragua 1980s, Panama 1989, Iraq 1991-1999, Sudan 1998, Afghanistan 1998, and Yugoslavia 1999.

Acts of war are by definition not terrorism.

Really? Isn't that convenient.
Tell me, was War ever declared on any of these nations?
Or where they all under guise of Freedom, democracy, truth justice in the American way?


Quote:
Post World War II, the United States has also assisted in over 20 different coups throughout the world, and the CIA was responsible for half a dozen assassinations of political heads of state.

Probably true. But is this terrorism? and if so, in what manner?

Terrorism - Activities against persons, organizations or property of any nature committed by an individual or individuals acting on behalf of any foreign person or foreign interest:
a. the effect is to intimidate or coerce a government or the civilian
population or any segment thereof, or to disrupt any segment of the
economy; or
b. it appears that the intent is to intimidate or coerce a government,
or further political, ideological, religious, social or economic
objectives or to express (or express opposition to) a philosophy
or ideology.

You do not consider assassinations as an act of terror?

Quote:
Its now become common knowlegde that the US supported Saddam Hussein while he was poisoning his people in Iraq.

An enemy of my enemy is at least temporarily a useful tool. It was not common knowledge at the time that he was poisoning his people while fighting Iran.

Enemy of my enemy is a useful tool?
In what context? To destroy a uncooperative, recalcitrant leader? Is that how US democracy works?
Does that smell of hypocrisy??
As for killing Kurds, It was common knowledge to the US. Well i hope so, as it was common knowledge in the world media. But then again the US did get their intelligence wrong with the WMD thing, so i guess i can buy that.


Quote:
And spent over 2 billion dollars training Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, and also supported Al-Qaeda in Kosovo and Bosnia.

Just a matter of history -- when was Al-Qaeda formed? What specific organizations were supported in Afganistan. Not a tricky set of questions.

Also -- names of Al-Qaeda people receiving funding in Kosovo and Bosnia. Perhaps you are using a definition that all Muslims in the Balkans are by definition Al-Qaeda. If so -- is this just a little too broad of a brush?

A little too broad?
Sorry, my mistake. I always get my Muslim terrorists confused.
In that i take it back, its totally cool to support these "nice" terrorists that kill innocent civilians

Quote:
As well as supporting other terrorist organizations like the Albanian KLA.

Bashing Muslims again? Also -- the nature and documentation of USA support would be nice.

I am not bashing Muslims, im bashing terrorism and hypocrisy

Its common knowledge.
Have you looked at the News in the past 5 years?
US bombing Serbian cities in support of the KLA, a terrorist group until 1999.
Whose supreme leader is now the president of this illegal entity.
Is that not support? If not please define your definition of support for terrorists?

Quote:
It has the largest stock pile of of smallpox, anthrax, and other biological chemical weapons in the world. In fact, it has 30,000 tons of chemical weapons.
It refuses to sign a treaty banning land mines.

Usually use by civilians and against civilians is considered terrorism.

Incorrect.
Please look up terrorism, or refer to my definition above

Thanks again for your response

Regards.

Taiji however, shot back with a comment of his own:

You make some good points, Mike.

But you come across as having 'ego' problems, you really think you are right? You are dead certain? You've stopped all learning on this subject?

Like, I say some of the points you are trying to make I agree with but I find your arrogance is making it much harder to swallow. From agreeing with much you talk about to having my doubts purely because of the way you are presenting yourself. For example when asked to backup your presentation with evidence:

"It's common knowledge, have you looked at the news in the past 5 years?"

Very patronising. You are insinuating anyone who asks you to support your claims with evidence must be stupid. Of course he has looked at the news in the last 5 years and yet he doesn't agree with you. I think you should present your evidence like a grownup, you are potentially making things worse for your chosen cause.

Anyway, it's not all bad but some bits are so bad they might mess up the whole message you are preaching.

However, the topic is still hotly debated as of right now, and there seems to be no end in sight! Grab a seat (and some popcorn) and watch the debate unfold before you, folks!

Next up, a report of the Royal Navy’s engagement with pirates!

No, I’m not talking about the 1600s. I’m talking about modern day pirates.

The Black Prince had the full scoop on the situation:

Sailors from HMS Cumberland (The Fighting Sausage), part of ITF-158 operating in the Gulf of Aden, have shot dead two pirates from a Yemeni registered dhow that was tracked by Russian and British warships from the task force, having chased the dhow away from a Danish cargo vessel it was attempting to capture.

When attempts to force the Dhow to stop failed, HMS Cumberland deployed Sea Boats and encircled the vessel. Pirates fired the first shots at the British sailors who returned fired and killed 2 without taking casualties before boarding and capturing the dhow. An MoD spokesman confirmed a third man, a Yemeni national later died of injuries, though it was unclear if those were sustained in the firefight with the Royal Navy or in earlier incidents with the task force and cargo vessel.

Russian Naval spokesmen confirmed the frigate Neustrashimy was the Russian vessel involved


Piracy is a real threat in these waters, a threat to the shipping of all nations and anyone who says we don't need a navy anymore should recognise the work our sailors do protecting shipping around the world. The next freighter ITF-158 rescues might well be flying a British flag or carrying British goods.

The news was met with generally positive reaction:

Actually according one particular poster on the mudpit the thread title should be British terrorist brutally murder Somalia Coast Guard. Seriously good for Brits for job well done. Who would have ever thought here in 21st century and Brits still chasing pirates!

I don't have a problem with it. It's quite appropriate that people who would commit acts of terror against others while armed are met by bigger, smarter, meaner and better armed opponents once in a while. Let's see how these pirates like it.....oh wait....they're dead. A hazard of their chosen occupation, I guess.

The US deals with cargo ships traveling the pirate infested waters between Asia and Australia all the time. Quite a load of them to. And they're hard to track because many are fishermen most of the time, on occasion they raid ships for some extra money.

Seriously good job though. You can never kill enough pirates. Especially these modern ones that just go about killing everyone.

Justice and Mercy, however, disagreed with the Royal Navy’s actions, to which a bit of a debate ensued:

The Brits shouldn't have bothered going after pirates that are Denmark's problem.

Yeah, they aren't Denmark's ally or anything. Plus, I'm sure those pirates would never attack a British merchant ship if given the chance.

It isn't the proper role of government to defend their allies. Don't doubt it, and that's why once it was attempted or carried out the British government should have been all over it.

I don't suppose you've ever heard of three little organizations called the UN, NATO and the EU, have you?

Britain protecting Danish (and other European) shipping in those waters is because of a joint European interest. If I'm not mistaken, the naval taskforce in the region is composed of ships from all over Europe, including a Dutch frigate..

If I can find more on the composition of the taskforce, I'll link it here.. In the mean time, try waking up to the 21st century Justice and Mercy!

I recognize that the proper duty of the British government is to protect the liberty of British citizens.

British tax dollars paid for the bullets used to kill the pirates, it should have been Danish tax dollars.

Five pages later…

Look, I'm a non-interventionist, but I gotta say...

You're walking down a street. You own a house on the next street over, and go for a walk every morning. In front of you, your neighbor is walking too. Then, from out of one of the houses, two kids come out at a dead run and start pulverizing your neighbor.

Now, what you're saying is that you don't pay your mortgage or your utility bills to help your neighbor out when he's getting his butt kicked?

Duh, you don't, but it would sure be nice if he helped you when that happened. So as for me, I'd go and help him out.

That's what the Royal Navy did. There was a friendly ship about to be attacked. There were pirates. They helped out. That's a basic preservation of the human right to life and property.

@J&M, for all you know, the danish vessel might have been carrying goods made in britain, or going to britain. There's certainly a good chance that either the ship, the crew, or the cargo, or any combination thereof were insured by Lloyds of London. Not to mention that killing those pirates today might mean they don't take on a british vessel next week.

Incidentally, death toll now three. MoD confirmed that a third pirate injured in the firefight died.

Thing i love best, these sailors and a couple of marines are floating around in little open boats, they're fired upon, and return fire with such deadly accuracy, whilst bobbing around in the ocean, that the surviving pirates promptly surrender! Clearly no Jack Sparrows on that ship...

Again, this is an ongoing conversation, so sit back and relax, or join in, if that’s your cup of tea! At any rate, I know that the Danes are happy to have their ship saved.

Lastly, the moment you’ve all been waiting for….

It’s time for Thanatos’s Muddiest Thread Award! (huzzah, color of poo!)

This award goes to the thread that’s the most muddiest at the time of writing, complete with total bias, blatant favoritism, and posters who don’t care that they haven’t changed their underwear in the last ten days!

Ponti, another drum roll please….

This edition’s Muddiest Thread Award goes to…

A Female Egyptian Lawyer Who Promotes Sexual Harassment Against Jews!!!

Oh dear, with a title like that, whatever could possibly go wrong?

Pivra had the scoop:

(IsraelNN.com) A female Egyptian lawyer has recommended that Arab men begin sexually harassing Jewish women as a means of forcing Jews to leave "Arab countries." Egypt, which signed a peace treaty with Israel in 1979, is perceived among Western nations as a moderate Arab nation where secular Arabs are a majority.

In a video clip of the interview which aired on Al Arabiyah television on October 31, 2008, Nagla Al-Imam said, "In my opinion, they are fair game for all Arabs, and there is nothing wrong… this is a new form of resistance."

According to a translation provided by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI), which released the clip, Al-Imam specified, however, that her "resistance" plan did not include rape.

"No. Sexual harassment… In my view, the [Israeli women] do not have any right to respond. The resistance fighters would not initiate such a thing, because their moral values are much loftier than that. However, if such a thing did happen to them, the [Israeli women] have no right to make any demands, because this would put us on equal terms – leave the land so we won't rape you. These two things are equal," she said.

Al-Imam added that she did not want "young Arab men to be interrogated," but rather, she wanted "these Zionist girls with Israeli citizenship to be expelled from our Arab countries. This is a form of resistance, and a way of rejecting their presence."


and here a link to the video..
http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/0/0/0/0/0/0/1903.htm

Almost immediately, a plethora of intelligent debate abounded:

is she for real?
israeli women are fugly as hell
mustaches and whatnot
ugh

soon Egypt will be filled with gaymen after raping all the Tina Turners

She is definantly into bondage, kinky!

Jewishness, if that is a word, is passed on through the mother, so any children born as the result of rape would be Jewish and an increase to the population of Jews.

It seems to me the best way to get rid of the Jews would be for Arab women to harass and make themselves available to Jewish men, stealing their seed, breaking up marriages and increasing the Arab population.

Sup guys. We found the Egyptian version of Sarah Palin.

I like hairy girls. I know it has nothing to do with the topic, but peach fuzzes across the board somehow feels sexy to me. Makes the peach last for hours~~~

I see a great reality show in the making!!!

… and that is why, dear reader, this thread bears the proud (or shameful) nomination of the Muddiest Thread Award.

Congratulations guys, I’m sure you’re so proud/ashamed of yourselves! Keep showing just how smart and enlightened we can be when we get together on the internet!

That’s all we have time for today, so I’ll let go of your hand now, since I’ve guided you safely through the Mudpit yet again. You many now go back to your boring and generic Gun Killer Slap Fight Action Fest 2000 movie on the other channel.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

… especially since we all know that I’m the only reason you read the Helios.

See you next time!

Guess who's back? Back again? Shady's back, shady's back, shady's back...

Yes, folks, I return from the depths of Castle Von Freddiestein to bring you another quality edition of La Heliose, as the French (might) say. That was the ever-awesome Thanatos reviewing our delightful Mudpit, a job that proves what Tony's been saying all along...this kid is dirty as sin. Next up is Roman Clone's Basement Antics, filling in for Freddie for a reason I was completely unaware of!

The Basement

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Hey guys, it is me, Roman Clone. I will probably be writing the next few Basement articles, and who knows, maybe the rest. Enough of the hello's, let us get to business.







We have been getting a lot of requests for P.C build recommendations, most due in part to the upcoming Empire: Total War.

So I decided to build a new PC but I haven't kept up to date on the technology, so I need advise. I don't want to go broke building it, but I want something decent(of couse it must run MTW2 good, also IL2, Call of Duty, racing sims,etc. preferably with all the eye candy and big armies) Intel processor, Nvidia video, good memory etc. All suggestions welcome, whats a good case , cooling, mother board.etc. Also should I go through Newegg or Tiger direct. Also what should be avoided, stuff thats incapatable with other stuff. Please point out if someone suggestion is not (right?) not looking to start a flamewar, just want to be able to examine from all angles, if you know what I mean. Any and all suggestions are valuble in my opinion. Thanks much ahead of time. I'll check this daily for your needed advise. Toodles:original:

As well as your budget are you going to re-use your monitor and operating system? At the moment I'll asuume a budget of around $1000/$1100 and you are re-using the former.

MSI P45 Neo-F LGA 775 $75
Intel C2D Q6600 (GO stepping) $190
Patriot 4Gb DDR2 1066 $60
Palit 4870 512Mb $235
Seasonic 550 Watt S12 $90
Samsung Spinpoint F1 500 Gb $65
Lite-On 20x DVD-+RW $24
Antec P182 Midi Case $150
Tuniq Tower CPU HSF $50

Total (after rebates before shipping) $ 939.00

Some people will say go with a Core 2 Duo E8400 because you can overclock it and get it up 3.8 Ghz. Well the C2D Q6600 with the new G0 stepping is just as overclockable and can reach 3.6 Ghz easily with a good cooler (see the above Tuniq Tower, probably the best air cooler money can buy).

You might as well get 4Gb of ram since DDR2 ram is cheap, only 3.5 gb will be addressable by Windows ( XP can read 3.5 Gb, but 512mb of that will be used by your video card). By getting 4gb you also get the advantage of having the memory run in dual channel mode for extra performance.

The video card I chose is superior to the NVIDIA alternative IMO, ATI video card always produce much more 'vibrant' graphics then NVIDIA cards and perform better when the AA is cranked up. The Palit version I picked also uses a decent cooler so your ears won't bleed to the sound of a fan trying to cool your video card.

The case is pure indulgence, but it has lots of room to work in and cable management is made easy as all the cables can be hidden at the back of the case.

So, with all these new PC games that are out and what-not I figured it might be about time to update the hardware in my PC...

I'm currently running Windows XP with an AMD Athlon 64 Processor 3400+

My hard drive is pretty old and beat up so I'm thinking of replacing that (Samsung SP1604N/R with a capacity of 141 GB).

And my other random specs that I'd like to get new hardware for:

Video Card: ATI Radeon x1650
Sound Card: Realtek AC97

Plus, I might want to replace my Motherboard as well...I'm not too sure about this though...

Any suggestions?

What I'm basically looking for is a PC that can run games either at max settings or pretty damn close but without annoying slow down.

Also, what's the BEST video card out there on the market today? I've been an ATI user but I'm thinking of going GeForce

I recommended that he get a quad core and a nvidia card, just in case he wants to play Empire: Total War.











Linux threads have been starting to pop up a lot more recently, including one on how to game on Linux. S.P.Q.R Praetorian tells us how:

Tired of the lackluster gaming opportunities on your alternative OS? Playing your favorite PC titles in Linux is easier than you think!
Time: 37 Min


What You Need

• GNU/Linux installation with recent kernel (2.6x)
  Free, www.ubuntu.com
• Wine
  Free, installed via Linux or winehq.org
• A PC game

It’s OK, Linux users. We understand your pain. Gaming on your open-source platform is, for the most part, restricted to similarly open-source or freeware titles from independent developers. You don’t often receive the same love that Windows users enjoy from triple-A game developers. But your time spent in the dark can now end: We’re going to show you how to play the latest PC-only titles on your Linux distribution of choice.
We’re using a program called Wine to simplify the process of running Windows-based games on a Linux platform. Unlike virtualization applications such as VMware, Wine is not an emulator. An emulator is a wrapper that allows one operating system to run within another. This wrapper hides the primary OS from its windowed love child, creating a software bubble for the second OS to play in. Since emulators run a complete OS within this virtualized bubble, the performance hit can be staggering and hinders gaming on all but the most powerful PCs.
Wine avoids this problem by implementing a set of routines (or APIs) used by applications to communicate with Windows. Rather than emulate them, Wine uses a compatibility layer that translates system calls from Windows to Linux and vice versa. If you’re still confused, relax. You don’t need to understand how it works. You just need to know that Wine is free and easy to configure and will have you up and gaming in no time!
1. Install Wine the Easy Way

Installing new software for Linux has become much easier since the advent of package management software. If you’re using a modern Linux distribution, you’ve probably utilized some kind of package manager. The most common are Synaptic/Aptitude (used by Debian and Ubuntu), Portage (Gentoo), and RPM (RedHat).
A software package comes bundled with the necessary software dependencies required by the application. Since these dependencies often overlap between applications, a package manager will ensure that your system installs only the dependencies that are missing. If you already have what you need, the package manager links the dependencies that have previously been installed to the new application.
Installing Wine on a package-managed system is as easy as telling the package manager to go ahead and install the program. One quick preface: All of our instructions are based on our experience with Ubuntu. Your Linux variety may vary, but the overall gist of our instructions should remain the same.
To get Wine onto your system, first launch the Synaptic Package Manager by opening the Applications menu on the title bar at the top of your screen and clicking Add/Remove. Click the Binocular icon and type wine , but be sure to select the “Show All Available Applications” option before you commence your search. As you can see in the above screenshot, your results will include an application called Wine, version 1.0.0.
Finish the job by clicking on the box to the left of Wine to select it and then click the green check mark labeled Apply. Confirm the installation of any additional packages to ensure that your installation doesn’t choke when it fails to find its dependencies.


2. Configure Wine’s Graphics and Audio

Open a terminal window in Ubuntu and type winecfg to launch Wine’s configuration screen. Start by clicking the Drives tab and set Wine to autodetect your drives, as shown in the upper image. The application will create a file structure that mimics Windows: It will establish your base directory as a C:\ drive and map your optical drive to D:\.

Next, click the Graphics tab to adjust your DirectX settings. We recommend using the settings displayed in the lower image: Check only the second and fourth options under Window Settings. The last option is especially critical, as it’ll make your Wine games stay windowed. That way, if your game crashes, you’ll still have access to your Linux desktop. Don’t forget to set your gaming resolution: You’ll do that underneath the Emulate a Virtual Desktop option.

Finally, click the Audio tab and then click the Test Sound button. If you can’t hear anything coming from your speakers by default, select each of the provided drivers—one at a time—until you have sound. It’s a crude solution, but it will take the least amount of time to get your speakers rockin’.

3. Check Game Compatibility

Before you rush to your local game store and spend the hard-earned money you saved by using a free operating system instead of Windows, read this step. It’s mission critical.
Linux comes in many varieties. Because of this, certain games tend to run better on certain distributions. And more often than not, specific titles will flat-out not work with the specific distribution—or any distribution—you’re running.
You should know a title’s compatibility issues before you plunk down $50 for a game. For that, you can turn to Wine’s official application database at appdb.winehq.org. This giant user-driven database provides ratings of and recommendations for running more than 10,000 applications and games in Wine.
The games and applications are broken down into specific test results, which the site presents based on combinations of tested distributions and Wine versions. Each listed entry tells you whether the program was able to either run or install correctly and assigns an overall usability rating to the experience.
Even if your game of choice appears to be broken on all Linux varieties, be sure to read the user comments appended at the bottom of each game’s results page. You might discover information about a new workaround or patch that has yet to be reflected in the game’s overall ratings.

4. Install your game

The installation process for applications under Wine is generally the same as it is in Windows because Wine uses the same installer. We’re going to focus on installing our game of choice, Sins of a Solar Empire, but you can use the same process to install a variety of other titles. Start by opening a Linux terminal and typing winefile. This pulls up the application’s Windows Explorer-like interface.
Navigate to your optical device by clicking the appropriate icon at the top of the window—it should look like a CD going into a drive. From there, double-click your game’s installation file (setup.exe, for example) and let the installer do its thing.
Follow the instructions as you would for any game being installed in Windows but pay attention to any errors or glitches that you see. Chances are good that you’ll notice fonts sizes are off and, in some cases, the fonts won’t display at all. We’ll come back to that later.
Once you’ve installed the game, you’ll want to make it easy to launch. You can do this by finding the executable file and linking it to a launcher—the Linux version of a Windows shortcut. By default, Wine hides its fake Windows partition in your
/home/[user name] directory. So you’ll want to right-click your Linux desktop and select the Launcher creation option. Name the Launcher whatever you want, but start the command as follows: wine “/home/[user name]/.wine/drive_c/”. After the “drive_c” section, type out the path where you installed your program.
If you can’t get a launcher to work, don’t worry. Some games end up working only by double-clicking the executable within the Winefile application.
5. Troubleshooting

Although we’ve been able to install and run Microsoft Office, Guild Wars, and NHL 08 without any problems, Sins of a Solar Empire was trickier. This gives us a perfect transition to Wine’s biggest headache: troubleshooting.
In our case, the fonts for our game were the wrong size and, in some cases, completely nonexistent (see above). If this happens to you, there’s a quick workaround. From a Windows installation, copy the fonts out of the C:\Windows\Fonts folder. You’ll then want to launch Winefile and copy the fonts back into Wine’s simulated Windows installation, same C:\Windows\Fonts folder.
If your chosen application gives you compatibility problems, it’s time to return to the Winecfg configuration tool. If the application was developed for a specific instance of Windows, try using the Applications tab to force Wine to use a suitable compatibility layer for the program. Click Add Application, choose your executable file, and choose the appropriate version of Windows.
The configuration tool also lets you change graphics and audio options as mentioned earlier. Disabling hardware support can keep games from crashing but sacrifices game performance in doing so. When in doubt, turn settings to minimum and bring them up slowly as you attempt to troubleshoot the best configuration for your game.
6. Work in the Wine Library

When you are configuring a new application, it’s wise to launch it from a terminal until you have the kinks ironed out. Doing so allows you to read the error messages that stream down the screen as the application runs. Bear in mind that many of these messages are not errors; they are used by developers to tune Wine. This makes them useful sources of information, particularly when they spit out .dll (dynamically linked library) errors.
A dynamically linked library is a fancy term from Microsoft that refers to a library of software used by various applications. These libraries are “linked” to applications as they are needed. If this reminds you of the package-managed dependencies mentioned at the beginning of the article, hand yourself a gold star. These libraries are what Wine replaces when it runs your MS-based applications.
Sometimes, the libraries are missing or incomplete. In this case, the .dll errors mentioned earlier will give you the name of the specific files that are causing problems. Replacement .dll files can be found in your Windows install or in a regular Windows install of your application. To fix errors, you can use the Library tab in Wine’s configuration tool to replace Wine’s .dll with the authentic .dll.
Wine Vs. Cedega

Not everyone has the time or patience to wrangle Wine into submission, and TransGaming Technologies (www.transgaming.com) is hoping to bank on this fact. The company has produced a “commercial re-implementation of the Windows API for Linux with a focus on gaming.” Sound like Wine? It should. Transgaming’s product, Cedega, is based in part on the free Wine source code. Many in the open-source community view this as an outrage, but Transgaming insists it violates no licenses. For a small fee, it offers “Wine that works” with a list of games guaranteed to run with it.

Give him some credit people! He did not actually write the guide, but he has been taking time out of his day to bring us such great articles and help make the Basement more active. Speaking of which, I think you should welcome Doge of Venice, Qymaen Jai Sheelal, and Vanquisher, to the Basement! It is always good to see new faces.














Thanatos brings us the news that USB 3.0 is coming out! However, we are all having our doubts...

The question is, what applications will use this? This is almost certainly not going to speed up existing apps. It might, however, open up new ones. A future in which USB was really universal, and we didn't have separate connectors for network cables, monitors, printers, internal and external hard disks, and so on ― now that would be kind of nice. (But would it be wasteful? Maybe we should have a few different levels for different throughput requirements. And maybe different between internal/external connectors . . .)

Consumer disks can only transfer at 50 MB/s theoretical maximum anyway. USB 2.0 already supports 60 MB/s. 3.0 isn't going to help you.

I'll believe it when I see it. The USB council has promised so much in the past a lot of which has been misleading and simply untrue.

If it is true you will only see these numbers when transferring from one USB3 device to another USB 3 device, moving data from a conventional hard drive is limited to the interface which is currently 300mb's.

Meh that's the theoretical bandwidth divide it by ten to get the real world bandwidth......

pft boring I don't want it anymore.

I got an award??

Oh, and GrnEyedDvl got an award.




Sorry folks, that is all I have time for. I have a flight to catch, so happy gaming!

For a first article, I've been instructed by my superiors to say that was good! (It wasn't.) It really was very good! (Nope.) Well done RC! (Nyaaaagh...) Next, it's Pontifex with his usualy pile of crap. Ponti, darling?

Ethos, Mores, et Monastica

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Greetings, once again, Pontifex here, reporting from EMM central in the heart of the Discussion and Debate forum. It seems like the change has finally been made and the attitude and focus of the posters has shifted away from the existence of God threads into a focus on religions. Many have expressed their interest in other faiths, which has of course left the atheists with nothing to talk about, but has allowed for some interesting exchanges to occur.



Well, here's a topic you don't hear about every day. Take a gander at Finnish Paganism. This is definitely a move away from the typical Christianity and mainstream religious threads. This thread proves to a be a great resource about paganism, which I believe is an all too often misinterpreted religion. It received alot of convolution from Christianity.



Do similarities exist between Gospel Music and Muslim forms of worship-songs? While essentially the same thing, music glorifying God, stark contrasts exist, well, obviously. I had never really thought about it before, but perhaps this is just one more way Christianity is similar to Islam.


An interesting thread was posed in which a member called to discuss the possibility of God creating a being more powerful than He. If God is all powerful, then I would think yes, of course. Can't God do anything? On the flip side, after that, God wouldn't be all powerful anymore.

I don't know if this has been discussed before, but the question is thus:

"Can God create a being greater than himself?"

For the sake of the argument, assume a omnipotent God exists.

If he can, then God is no longer the greatest and no longer omnipotent as there is something beyond his power.

If he cannot, then there are certain things that God cannot do and therefore God cannot be omnipotent.

Omnipotence surely is a slippery concept at times.

Prayer, what does it actually accomplish? For many it is a direct link to God, a telephone line, although all too often, the line is busy, or perhaps the signal lost.

Prayer will mean different things to different people. For some it may seem a necessary part of day to day activity, but others may scoff at the seeming futility of this act.

Probably one of the most key issues to religions is the idea of prayer or communication with God through prayer.

What are your views on prayer? What must one do to pray?

For me:

1. My views on prayer is that it is simply the way to communicate with God, we can communicate with God through prayer. Through prayer we beg for forgiveness, we give thanks for blessings, we ask for wisdom and to be better servants and submitters to God.

2. All one must do is make a conscious effort, one doesn't need to wash, to fast, or to do any other ritual ceremony. We can not sever the link between god and us through not having a ritual.

I am burning the midnight oil as I scribble down these random musings, and for lack of time to work on this at the moment, I will have to leave you here. With a final message, I urge you to become actively involved with helping me choose threads to write about. For a writer, nothing is worse than disconnection with the reader, and feedback, whether positive or negative, is greatly appreciated.

Once again I apologize for my brevity, but I hope you have enjoyed this issue.

Mmm, steaming and runny, Ponti, thankyou. Who else now but Elzabar, the kid you love to hate? (And beat senseless while stealing his belongings). Go get 'em, Elzy, this week, covering the Thema Devia!

Thema Devia

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

After a tragic accident which involved a pancake, several nails and a rubber duck, Macky was unable to do the Thema Devia for you all. Instead, Shyam took his place. Which begs the question; why the hell am I here? Well, by some cruel, ironic, yet rather predictable circumstance, Shyam is also unable to do the Thema Devia. Let's just hope I'm not hit by a pack of dogs while I write this for you all.

Now, before we get down and dirty (), I have a bit of a disclaimer: I am like a boy from the city going out for a few days in the wild. Or, in this rather strange case, a gladiator stepping into a cesspit. I am not trained in the ways of you lowly plebs who enjoy frolicking in mud and grime, and therefore do not speak like you. Alright, let's get to business.

I'll start with the newbies of the forum, so let us head over to the Welcome to TWC thread. Just like anything else on TWC, and especially with the Thema Devia, nothing is really what you'd expect. Instead of introducing themselves, newbies have arrived on the scene claiming to be the Ambassador of the Great Lord Feloric, some wolf dude who is planning the invasion of Earth. Another has asked how to start a jihad in "medieal" 1. Roman Knight has attempted to sneak into the secret cult of Lord Feloric, but failed miserably. And no doubt now you're all sick of hearing about the newbies of the forum. So, let's do something else.

Let's all laugh at Bush as he gets ignored by the other world leaders! George W. Bush (confusing, yes?) tells us about the irony in it. And nobody can deny that it is ironic that the leader of the most powerful country in the world is ignored by other world leaders. But laughing at Bush soon grows boring; we've all done it a hundred times.

There seems to be a thing in the cesspit Thema Devia, where people share their chats with God or Santa. Though I must say, Santa seems to be the paedophile we all thought he was. According to the fat old man himself, many people believe him to be retarded. As interesting as talking to God or Santa may be, however, I will leave that to the individual to do. Right, now we are moving over to the latest news in the very distanced celebrity world, where everything is a dream.

And where Michael (Mikaeel) Jackson has converted to Islam. Not too surprisingly, here is Mikaeel in Bahrain, wearing a womens veil.

And to make the situation even stranger, Al-Qaeda has welcomed Michael Jacksons conversion to Islam. It's a strange world that we live in...

And on that note, I'll hand the microphone over to Sundance, so that he may give you the next article. I hope my article has been up to the standard that you have come to expect from Macky, despite our different styles of writing.

Well, I'll be honest, I hated that. Didn't like it one bit. Let's see if Freddie's Christmas Buyer's Guide can turn this issue around!

Christmas Buyer's Guide

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Christmas will soon be on us which is a good excuse to pester our loved ones to buy us the latest toys, gadgets and hardware. I have spent hours on the internet over the past year keeping up to date with the latest and greatest technological advances on the market and now seems a good time to post what I believe is worth buying.

Why should the Basement cover this? Market research shows us that 66% of what is spent on presents this years Christmas presents will go on electrical goods and consumer based entertainment so it seems only right the Basement should lend a guiding light in the season of goodwill

Computer Hardware and Peripherals

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It's the Season of Goodwill to all Men - Gainward ATI Radeon HD 4870 X2 Rampage edition
If you want the fastest possible video look no further, this is an overclocked version of the Hd 4870 X2. Not only is it much faster then all of it's rivals it features a customs cooler which is not only provides better cooling then the stock ATI cooler but it's much quieter to boot.

I'm Feeling Generous - Dell Ultrasharp 2408 WFP
This is the updated version to the already popular 24" 2407. Released earlier this year the Dell 2408 WFP features the latest generation of S-PVA technology (cheaper models use DN displays) which gives out brilliant whites and excellent contrast ratios. Timings and response times have also been improved and the display suffers no ghosting or blurring issues. This LCD is great for gaming, DVD's, web browsing , graphics applications and is arguably the best display on the market.

HIS ATI Radeon HD 4850 IceQ 4 Turbo 512MB
More expensive then the regular 4850 models but for good reason. I'm a fan of ATI cards but I'm not a fan of of their coolers hence why I choose this HIS version of the 4850. I've used HIS products before and they are very quiet, this version has also been slightly overclocked for even better performance and the HSF gives 20% better cooling then the standard stock cooler. For most of us the 4850 will give all the performance you will ever need for current titles and this card will display them quietly as well.



The credit crunch hurts - Zalman ZM-RS6F+M 5.1 Surround Sound Headphone
5.1 sound on a set of headphones? Yes please! At less then £30 a set of decent headphones can really bring a game to life and they also have the advantage of not annoying your parents with the booming sound effects coming from your subwoofer. Trust me a good set of headphones can make really appreciate the amount of work that goes into audio production of modern video games.


Akasa AK-VC03-BLUV Vortexx NEO VGA Cooler
OK I'm a bit of eccentric when it comes to computer noise but £15 to make your video card quieter then a monks monetary on Sunday? Bargain. It's also not a bad idea to replace your HSF if your card is a couple of years old, dust is a big problem and can ruin a fan by clogging up the motors causing video cards to overheat, crash and artefact. This cooler is ATI & NVIDIA compatible, coolers the GPU and Ram modules.



Ebenezer Scrooge - Akasa 3-Pin to 4-Pin Adapter Cable
Handy if want to cut the noise of your case fans.

Consumer Entertainment

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It's the Season of Goodwill to all Men – 3XS Great White
Make sure your sitting down when you read the price tag. And no that isn't a typo that PC really does cost £12,000/$19,000. However for your money you do get the fastest PC commercially available, it's so fast even Crysis ends up running home crying to its mummy. Triple SLI, 64.5Ghz of CPU power and can draw enough electricity to cause the national grid to grind to halt.

I'm Feeling Generous - Nintendo Wii Console including Wii Sports
Great fun at parties and very popular so I would suggest if you want one of these buy one now before they sell out like they did last year leaving thousands of disappointed hearts who were expecting Santa to deliver one on Christmas Day.

The credit crunch hurts – Powerball Neon Blue Pro
I’ll let overclockers describe this one

Introducing Powerball - one of the most unique and dynamic products available on the web today - 8 world records and counting!
Powerball is a dynamic and completely revolutionary new gyroscope that literally explodes with mind numbing torque and inertia once you activate its internal rotor.
It's about the same size as a tennis ball and weighs just a little more, but take a Powerball in your hand, set that rotor in motion with the cord provided (or use your finger when you get used to it) and you'll experience an extraordinary sensation:
Power ball slowly comes alive with gyroscopic force - a sublime yet pleasant resistance to your movement which is transmitted directly into your wrist and arms and which provides soothing, non impact rehabilitation at these lower speeds.
You want more?
Take it higher...much higher!
Bring your new Powerball up...up to 10,000rpm...the forces are now much stronger, much more vibrant. Higher! Take it to 12,000rpm...no, higher still...take it right up, thrashing and jerking as your arm and wrist try to control and calm it down, faster and faster it spins until you have it up to an unbelievable 15,000rpm at which point it's exerting almost 40lbs of pressure on your limbs and is travelling at nearly 250 revolutions per second - no batteries, no motor, just pure gyroscopic power - the fastest human propelled device ever created!

Ebenezer Scrooge – Used Monoploy Board
Can be picked up on ebay for around 99p (+p&p) but some of the hotels and houses might be missing (stuck at the bottom of a sofa somewhere).

Communication and Productivity

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It's the Season of Goodwill to all Men – T-Mobile G1 with Google Android
I suggest you watch the demo to get an idea of what this phone is all about.
Move over Apple because Google is in town, lot of people including myself have being waiting for an alternative to Windows Mobile and an alternative that was as restrictive the Apple Iphone. The G1 can connect to the internet and download user created applications not to mention free access of Amazons music store.

I'm Feeling Generous - Asus Eee PC701
I can see these suckers appearing all over the place and in ever Starbucks cafe in the country. Light, portable and powerful combined with the declining cost of mobile internet makes a device like this ideal for those who like the functionality of there desktop PC in there briefcase or handbag. A smart piece of kit.

The credit crunch hurts –Fujifilm FinePix J10 8.2 Megapixel Digital Camera
You get a lot of camera for money. 8.2 mega pixels and a powerful flash add in a cheap SD memory card and you have a yourself a video camera as well.


Ebenezer Scrooge –Some BIC pens
Handy for when your anxious or nervous say before an exam, the covers are very chewable and soft. You can also write with them

I hope you find this useful. In my next edition I plan to bring you a full round up of all the latest computer hardware (X58, Core i7, HD 4850 X2 etc). BTW thank you to all those who voted for me in the Site awards, it was an honour just to be nominated, again thank you.

It didn't. Neeeext!

Curia

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Curia Sum Up

Hello, and welcome to the first (and hopefully not the last, unless these tight fisted Helios dictators fire me ) Curia Sum Up. I will take you into the exciting realms of the Curia, and the big and small changes and debates which often fly over our head, or if your sad and boring fill it.

But first to Elrond's thread, to see if the Curia actually is exciting.

This might be more suitable for the Symposium but I am not sure so I have posted it here.

Perhaps its just be but have things got more boring over the past few months? There has been no controversy and very little action on anything. I struggled to think of controversial stuff in the past 6 months and the best I could think of is 'The Concilium Plebis affair' and the 4 page thread on Sim and Hotspurs decision to implement the hidden votes script. By the standards of the Curia that is incredibly little controversy for 6 months. Hotspur has certainly brought stability which I think was needed at the time but is that necessarily the best for the Curia in the long term?

I think the answer to that is no - because controversy and Curial politics lead to more activity and usually more input from the Curia, I agree that sometimes things go to far - perhaps the time between The Black Prince's Vote Of No Confidence and mine is an example but the rest of the time I strongly believe that Controversy in the Curia has helped TWC. Generally it encourages people to enact new legislation on a specific issue and often legislation on something else that the person has never got around to proposing.

Curial politics and more specifically controversy helps to decrease what I believe is the Curia's biggest problem - Apathy. No one seems to give a dam about what goes on atm - if you write a long and impassioned defence of your opposition to anything people seem to think you are a little nuts or exaggerating things - no matter what the changes are.

Another thing I don't like is the Curia's current love of the Staff - They have done a reasonably good job but Garbs not the 2nd coming of Jesus - he and his staff makes mistakes and sometimes big mistakes. There is nothing wrong with the Curia offering constructive criticism and proposing bills that are against the current belief of staff - by suggesting what we think is best we are more likely to get the best result for the site. Nothing that the staff dislikes ever gets passed by the Curia - ever - there is no need for the staff to have a veto atm because if a couple of admins complain the bill gets dropped or doesn't get passed.

Allot of people seem to be happy with the fact that the curia never passes bills which the staff oppose - but think about it - that means that in most cases the Curia is just rubber stamping stuff which the staff would have introduced anyway. If these kind of bills are added to those which are just backing up suggestions made by non civs in the Q&S then we are left with very few pieces of real legislation from the Curia and I think the site is much worse off when the Curia isnt contributing to all the site - both the CC and TW sections.

If you have bothered to read this string of conciousness then your nuts, anyway I feel better now I have got that off my chest.

What? So not everyone empties his bowels in enjoyment when they see a new issue in the Prothalamos?

Garb voiced his opinion:

I think that the Curia is an extremely conservative body when it comes to the vote. Just browse the last bunch of voting. And think that the minority of the Curia that interacts in this sub forum is even smaller then the usual voting minority.

*quickly hides new Content Management Badge*

And Mimirswell blames the increase of forum staff.

Stability might be correlated with interest but not directly. What the Curia needs for greater interest is greater importance and whether that occurs or not remains to be seen. The jury also remains out on whether it's worth receiving greater importance and that largely depends on the actions of the citizens.

Perhaps the primary issue that is resulting in the irrelevance of the Curia is the increasing size of staff. The larger Staff is, the more poaching of members who otherwise would contribute via the Curia. This has worsened steadily since 2006 (prior to this point, Hex had stabilized as six members including senior staff for over a year) and Junior moderators remained light and Content/Technical staff, Librarians, etc. were non-existent. On the one hand, this has been moderately healthy for the site and certainly what staff has accomplished is wonderful. However, that has had a negative effect on the gamut of input.

Prior when Content and Technical were outsourced, anyone could contribute via the Curia various proposals regarding such and they would be discussed and ultimately someone would volunteer and implement them (though in the case of technical, ON had a permanent veto since Mithras was never around). Now, everything is handled within staff and if you do not belong to staff, getting your ideas heard is difficult and the Curia is the least effective way in doing so.

This has left the Curia largely as oversight, a role it's been reluctant to adopt (especially over itself) and one consistently denied to it by staff. This is where the Curia remains right now, teetering on the verge of useful or useless.

And on a cheery note, the retiring Calvin voices:

I would say it has fallen grandly into useless. Therefore boring.

Well, regardless of its excitingness, I will persist to torture you with my news from the Action-Packed Curia.

Meanwhile, there is much celebration sad fare welling, as Hotspur, much hated, much loved, persistent and effective whip of the Curia leaves the post of Curator. People have said their farewells in this thread.

As Hotspur leaves, a new election starts in the Curia. Several innocent Citizens have already placed themselves at the front line, ready to take on the office. The current runners are Justinian, Boeing, Fabolous, Chim, Elrond and Jubal_Barca. The interrogating has already begun.

In other news, several major elections have been concluded.

Fabolous, Senno, Belisarius and Voltaire le Philosophe shall now serve as Magistrates.

Mimirswell, Shyam Popat and the Sundance Kid are the new CdeC members. Though no sooner where they elected than did their post undergo some large change. As most Curator candidates agree, the recent Patronisation changes are, well, quite revolutionary.

The recent Patronisation forum, as proposed by Scorch/Augustus Lucifer means that Patrons and their applicants will skip the old fashioned PMing. In simple, the Patron posts in the forum with the applicants paragraph and their own, rather than PMing the Curator.

The requirements to try for Citizenship have been tightened slightly, as proposed by GrnEyedDvl.

But the biggest and probably most controversial change is that of CdeC transparency, as proposed by Mimirswell. No longer will the debating of the CdeC go on behind closed doors, but will be visible to all Citizens. Currently three subsequent votes are going on in the Curia, as determined by the decision, to determine the exact amount of CdeC Transparency. More specifically, if none of the ongoing votes pass, only successful citizen applications will be viewable. The votes will determine whether Failed Citizenship Applications, the Politia and the CdeC archives shall be viewable.


The VV may soon be sectionised to include an alternate history subforum, for 'what if' speculation threads. It is currently going through the vote, and Justinian is quickly making sure everyone gets their just reward (or so he thinks) as he proposes several new awards for exceptional Curators, Tribunes, CdeC, and Former Moderators, by bringing back the Senatorii as an award.

If you are hoping to become a Citizen, have a light-hearted read at the What were you patronised for? thread. There you shall find valuable information by the esteemed citizens on what they did to get their citizenship.

And so, our journey into the dusty rooms of the Curia have has come to an end. But I'll (hopefully) be back next time! Stay tuned.

Now that's how you do it. Nice work Caradog, have a sticky bun.

Now, onto our beloved editorials, which never cease to brighten my day and fill my heart with...oh, for ****'s sake, let's get on with it, I need a drink.

Editorials

First, here's everyone's favourite specific-colour heir to the throne, the Black Prince, with his beloved Helios staple, Queer Concern.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Queer Concern


Police ask Gay people to riot

So, some questions for you. Can we all agree that knife crime is bad? Yes? I think we’re all against knife crime. So having got that far, it’s a safe assumption we’re against gun crime? Yes? Thought so. How about murder? Anyone? No? OK, murder is bad too… Does it make a difference if its gay people that are murdered?

Well, I know there are those who will say yes to the above question, but thankfully they are a minority, especially in civilised countries like in Europe.

The police too are anti knife crime, anti gun crime and anti murder. The police agree that murdering gay people is a bad thing.

There’s crimes that ban incitement to commit criminal offences, and the police support those too.

There is a point to this.

The police condemn the above, and yet the Home Secretary and the Acting Metropolitan Police Commissioner have given the go ahead to the London concert of the “artist” known as “Bounty Killer”. Two other concerns in the UK by this artist were cancelled by the respective authorities, and similar concerts on his European tour have been cancelled in Germany and other places.

People in this country have a right to dislike and to criticise gay people. They do not have a right to go round suggesting that people should attack and kill gay people. In fact its illegal to do so. Despite this, the Home Secretary and Met Police have not only given this man a visa, but have allowed his concert to go ahead in full knowledge that his sings are an incitement to violence against the gay community.

Various gay organisations, let by OutRage! have lobbied long and hard to prevent the London concert from going ahead.

The response from the Police is that they would only cancel the concert if there were a likely hood of public disorder.

So polite and peaceful lobbying doesn’t work, but if hundreds and thousands of gay people turn up outside the concern and start a riot, that would be ok and we’ll stop the concert if you do it?

Errr what? Why are the police encouraging people to riot? In response to this absurdity from the authorities, Peter Tatchell, the leader of OutRage was quoted by the Pink Paper as saying ““This is a tacit encouragement of violent protests,” “The police are effectively saying that if someone to threatens to firebomb the concert venue and kill the manager they will cancel the performance. Otherwise, if the protests are peaceful, the police will ignore them.”

Something seems to be very wrong with this whole scenario… its OK for this artist to come to the UK and perform songs which are in violation of UK law, and in response to the gay community’s demands that the concert be stopped, the police tell us to go riot? WTF is going on here….


Given the nature of this artist, I think its highly likely that some people will take them at their word. An artist who go round singing

“To kill dis yah fool, to me dat is no stress
Murder dem fast just like a Federal Express “
Or
“"wipe out the faggot with a pure laser beam" “

Or

“Bun a fire pon a kuh pon mister fagoty….” (I’m no expert at translating rap/reggae/hip hop gibberish, but apparently this means “burn the faggots/queers”)

That this person is allowed to perform in this country in an insult to the entire gay community and a tacit endorsement of his hateful position that gay people should be murdered. That the police’s only response to the concerns of the community is to suggest we riot to demonstrate the strength of our feeling is absurd and ridiculous. The police themselves are inciting a public order offence by their actions.

There is of course a wider issue here, and that is the continued tolerance of death music, especially from the reggae world. A song about killing gay people is no different to a song about killing muslims or black people, yet the latter kind of music would be banned and its perpetrators prosecuted.

the Black Prince

Next, an editorial from Freddie, who takes us to the bygone days of poor quality games consoles.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Dare To Be Stupid

I was born in 1980 and back then (the 80’s) my dad owned a massive pub and it use to have a couple of arcade games, I can’t for the life of the name of games as they were swapped around every couple of months. When I was 7 or 8, whilst on holiday I remember playing Space Invaders for the first time but I wasn’t really that impressed with it, my interest in games at the time was limited. A friend of mine had an NES which was enjoyable but my parents never brought me one I was wasn’t all that worried at the time.

On Christmas day 1991 I was given a SNES with Street Fighter 2 and I was hooked immediately, the single player was challenging (that Spanish bull fighter guy annoyed the hell out me) and was even more fun when your friend were over for a bit 1 on 1 action. Being quite young at the time I would always be arguing at school which company was better Nintendo or Sega and the various Mario vs. Sonic debates, on hindsight I’m glad to know I was right and they were wrong. By 1994 I was in possession of lots of games including Super Mario world, Mario all Stars (had all the previous Mario games), Mario Kart (one of my all time favourites), Starfox (ground breaking), however the games I enjoyed most weren’t always console classics mentioned above but gems like Wing Commander and Sim City which were better known at the time as PC classics.

As well as the SNES I owned an Amiga 1200, this was a different kettle of fish from the SNES, Click and Point adventure games such as The Secret of Monkey Island and it’s sequel, space operas like Elite and Wing Commander (I eventually brought it for the Amiga after playing it on the SNES) was were it was at. I think my parents wanted me to use the Amiga for constructive work like word processing rather then use it as games machine. In 1994 I was devastated to learn that Commodore had gone bankrupt as I knew this mean there would be limited title releases for the rest of the year. The emergence of the PC and Windows was the root cause of Commodores demise and I was mad as hell and I use to wish death on the PC platform for years to come for killing off my beloved Amiga.

By 1994 Sega developed the Sega Saturn (Sony had a relationship with Nintendo to develop a CD add on for the SNES which was scrapped and Sony changed it to the PS1) which retailed at £300 which came with 3 games. During my time at primary school untold peer pressure had finally convinced me to go with Sega, I had saved up a lot of pocket money and washed a lot of cars and with help from my Dad I brought the Sega Saturn (display model) on Boxing Day of 1994. What was ground breaking with these new 32bit machines was they were the first systems that could truly render 3D arcade graphics (the SNES managed to do it with Starfox with the aid of the FX chip) and the age of 3D graphics had finally arrived. The only trouble was the games I had were crap. Clockwork Knight got boring very quickly, Sega Worldwide Soccer is the worst game I have ever played in my life and Sega Rally had only three cars and 2 tracks (that’s what you get for exporting arcade games straight to console).

Looking back it’s easy to say ‘you should have got the PS1’ but at the time Sony were known for making the Walkman not games consoles and Sega was a respected and well liked brand. The Saturn was a good console and frankly it doesn’t get enough credit, it started of slow but by the 2nd year of it’s life there was no shortage of fantastic games – Panzer Dragoon, Guardian Heroes (my personal favourite game on the Saturn), Nights, Shinning the Holy Ark, Virtua Fighter 2, Magic Carpet, Tomb Raider, Wipeout and well as countless others to which I cannot remember their names. However by 1997 the Saturn was doomed and was never going to catch up with the PS1 which went on to become a cult classic, and at home the need for a computer was growing as course work built up and my Dad wanted something to reduce the amount of paper he used.

My final years at school involved writing out long essay’s for course work for various subjects and I need a decent word processor that would suit my needs and easy that even my Dad could use it. To be frank my Amiga which was by now collecting dust in a box just wasn’t up to it. Still mad with the PC for killing of Commodore I swallowed my pride asked my Dad if we could get a PC as it be very useful for my coursework and for him as well if he need to write correspondence. The PC set my Dad back £1200, however unlike all of today’s machines I got a full copy of Windows 95 not the Mickey Mouse recovery disks you get today with OEM machines and a 15” CRT screen, Intel P200, 32Mb of ram and a 2.3Gb hard disk.

I did use the PC for its intended purpose but it didn’t take long for me to start installing games on it. I knew what the PC could do, another friend of mine had a PC and we played Ultimate Doom, Doom 2, X-Wing and Command and Conquer all of which looked very impressive. Quake was one of the first games I played and I was able to play it at 800 x 600 which was good going in those days.

Latter that year I learnt about a revolutionary piece of hardware that was to transform games and their graphics, it was made by a company called 3DFX (they had a rival called PowerVR but that never really caught on) and cost £100. It was a lot of money but I somewhat naively sent my cheque and order to Special Reserve and two weeks latter it had arrived. I was a bit nervous as I had never opened up a computer case before let alone changed or added any part of one but it was straight forward to fit the card, I tightened it in with a screw and put case back on. That’s where the simplicity ended and I got myself into a state of confusion, to get the card to work you had to plug it into you old video card and run the VGA cable from the 3DFX card to your monitor. If only had I read the instructions I could have saved myself a lot of bother. I also wasn’t aware that you had to install drivers and software (OpenGL Glide, DirectX etc) to get this bad boy to work and I got really annoyed because I couldn’t get it work for about a 5 days (again it helps to read the manual). When I did managed to get working I was the envy of my friends as I had supreme bragging rights, nothing could match the 3DFX card not the PS1, the Saturn, PowerVR it was the daddy of all hardware, it literally transformed all compatible games from blackly horrible textures to bright colourful rendered objects, the light and water effects was where the card really showed what it could do.

Since then I’ve kept with the PC, the Saturn was the last console I brought and will be for some time to come (although the Wii does have some appeal). From an early stage of having my own PC I realised the games on the PC were more intricate and the platform couldn’t be beaten on a number of genres such RTS’ and FPS and the control scheme of using a keyboard and mouse although simple worked almost naturally. What I also like about the PC is if you’re the first to benefit from advancements in technology and often developers will use the platform to try out new types of game such as Thief, System Shock and Half Life (FPS with detailed storyline).

I hope some of you can remember what it was like to be a kid growing up in 80’s and or perhaps some of your weren’t even born, either way it just demonstrates just how far we come in consumer entertainment over the past 20 years. The playground arguments of Nintendo vs. Sega and Mario Vs Sonic, these all seem silly and a bit petty to me now I have career and a mortgage but I can look back smile at these times as I know in playground right now there will 10 years arguing over Gordon Freeman and Master Chief. The actors and the stage may have changed but the war still wages on.

But what's this? Shyam Popat, riding out from the murky lagoon? Certainly is folks, and he's got an editorial about....bagels.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

How do I love bagels? Let me count the ways.
I love bagels to the depth and breadth and height
My hand can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Breakfast and ideal Lunch.
I love bagels to the level of everyday's
Most hungry need, by sun and candle-light.
I love bagels freely, as men strive for Right;
I love bagels purely, as bagels turn from Praise.
I love bagels with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love bagels with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love bagels with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love bagels better after dinner.

Dictionary.com defines the bagel as "a leavened, doughnut-shaped, firm-textured roll, with a brownish glazed surface, made of dough first poached and then baked". But I ask you, how can you confine such a beautiful, wondrous item to a line of text, of 1s and 0s? You cannot truly do the bagel justice. Like love, it is something that is personal, undefinible, pure. The bagel is the epitome of human civilization, it is Athens, Rome, Paris, London, sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, Homer and Virgil, Poe and Pope, Dickens and Darwin, Peter the Great and Alexander the Great, the Parthenon and the Sistine Chapel, coated with Romanticism and Rationalism with a side of fries. Professor Stephen Hawkings once professed, while wearing his professor hat, that the universe was shaped like a bagel. Unfortunately, his computer had a virus that day, or something. What he meant to say was, the universe was made by a bagel. Yes, the whole of existence, all of space, time, and space-time, was created by the underrated, underachieving bagel.

The bagel is not only the metaphorical pinnacle of human life as we know it, but practically as well. Do you understand just how useful the bagel is? It turns into pure energy when you put it into your mouth. Can you even process how unbelievably amazing that is? You probably can't, our brains haven't evolved to even .1% of the size they need to be to understand. But not only is it the source of all life, it is the source of joy and entertainment world-wide. I can think of tons of uses for the bagel just off the top of my head. You can use them as arm bands for really small kids to help teach them how to swim. You can throw them at bank robbers or those fraudsters who steal money off old people. Who knows, maybe you'll get a reward. You can put it over the tip of your penis and pretend that it is holy. You can slice them open and put them over your ears and make like Princess Leia. Just... tons of stuff to do with bagels. Have I said eat it? Cus that's where they really excel. And it's hard to excel when you created the universe. I mean, you gotta be really good.

Now, I understand that you must all think I'm some kind of bagelphile. To some extent, I am. If there was a playground full of young bagels I would take pictures from outside the fences. I would lock up a bagel in my basement and have lots of little bagels. I would create a virtual world of bagels and put myself into it, Matrix style. If that is bagelphilia then put me on the bagel offenders register. Because I love bagels, k?

Well, there's little more to say. Except I would jerk off to this pic:

NANK GOO AND YOOD THIGHT.

Well, it's good to be back in the leather swivel chair, and Freddie has fled to Nicaragua to think up a new scheme to dethrone me from my perch. Until next time, sayonara, and go and rep my reporters, coz they all bloody well deserve it.

And me. I escaped from a freaking castle, for God's sake.

[Thanatos]

"Dirty as sin," Dom? "Dirty as sin?"

I like that. I like that a lot.

[Father Jack]

Ooops sorry for the missed issue, Reps all round though

[Freddie]

Just to clear up any confusion I'm still the regular Basement reporter, Clone's inclusion came about of a breakdown of communication.

[Romanos IV]

Great Helios!

[Soulghast]

Congratulations! A brilliant, well written issue! Also a pleasant and interesting which is what matters most in such issues anyway. Well done everyone!

[Desperado †]

Another great issue! Especially loved the Editor Intro. Reps all 'round.

[Pontifex Maximus]

Can I clean mine off the bottom of my shoe now?

[The Sundance Kid]

As long as you smear it back over the article once you're done, young man.

[Elzabar]

[scapegoat]Blame Erwin Rommel for my not getting in the Coliseum issue![/scapegoat]

[Augustus Lucifer]

I'll be the first to say that I knew that about you, Shyam. I really, truly did.

[Erwin Rommel]

[scapegoat]Blame Erwin Rommel for my not getting in the Coliseum issue![/scapegoat]

I profusely apologize for this incident

*performs kowtow infront of Elz*

But lately due to logistics problems and due to the unexpected situations happening all at the same time. It appears that now matter how I willed it, my Korps cant accomplish it. But soon, I promise, we'll get 35, and I'll be there.

[Elzabar]

You're lucky to have this last chance. If it were up to me...

Wait, it is up to me!

[The Sundance Kid]

You're lucky to have this last chance. If it were up to me...

Wait, it is up to me!

You're like the Vader to my Emperor.

Something something something complete.

[Erwin Rommel]

But Mein Fuhrer! Dont take the Korps away! I am so damn near.....

(In other words, due to RL. situations, I'll be somewhat on and off here in TWC.)

[Freddie]

Are you going to update the front page?

[Roman Clone]

For a first article, I've been instructed by my superiors to say that was good! (It wasn't.) It really was very good! (Nope.) Well done RC! (Nyaaaagh...) Next, it's Pontifex with his usualy pile of crap. Ponti, darling?

I'M GONNA TELL MY DADDY ON YOU!!!

[IronBlood]

Lol my Michael (Mikaeel) Jackson picture was used!

[Elzabar]

Lol my Michael (Mikaeel) Jackson picture was used!

Uhhh.... No, different picture...

It looks like your Michael (Mikaeel) Jackson picture, but it's different.

How much do you want for to shut up?

[Viking Prince]

Great issue! I have special interest in Thanatos' Muddiest Thread Award. I had just missed my opportunity for fame and fortune as I watched the thread close. To quote in my best Maxwell Smart voice -- Sorry about that, Thanatos. Missed it by that much.