The beast

[Perkele]

There is a hollow beast; it has no heart. It resides in a dark and empty corner. There it gnaws the bones of those it has extinguished. Savouring the last bit of flavour it lives on from day to day, always hungry, always wanting more.

The beast can be striken down, it can be ridiculed and it can be chained. But never can the beast die. Always it lives on, without a heart, in the dark and empty corners. From there it stares at man, whispering empty promises and lies, seeking for a heart to fill it's empty body.

It asks to be striken down, it asks to be chained and it asks to be ridiculed, for it lives from each and every action taken against it. Day by day it gains strenght until it becomes the hand that strikes, until it becomes the word that ridicules and until the becomes the one that imprisons.

Rarely does man venture to those dark cornes, and when he does so he is doing so blindly for no light reaches the depths the beast dwells in. Sometimes man thinks he can reason with the beast, sometimes he thinks he can enslave the beast and sometimes he thinks he can use the beast. But in the end the beast always steals the heart of man.

Some try not to aknowledge the beast, pretend it is not there. They allow the beast to wander out of those dark depths into the light where it will reach out to each and every heart. It will thrive and grow stronger, casting shadow over mankind. And in the shadown men who canno't see welcome the beast.

It takes better men to cast the beast back into the depths. Men who can see in the dark, men who watch the beast from eye to eye and call it by it's true name. Men with no heart.

[Zephyrus]

Is this a poem or a riddle?

[Perkele]

I don't know how to write poetry. It's just a little something I wrote, a flow of thought or lack of one.

[Zephyrus]

Ahhh, cuz it sort of wants to go in that direction, buts its shapeless and abstract. Not bad. I might even try a crack at it.

[Aelius Dabreas]

Well, I do like it. Know your enemy like you know yourself in order to defeat it?... and, perhaps, in doing so, become the enemy?

[Morkonan]

So far, The Beast is intangible. That can be good or bad, depending upon what you do with it. I like the intent of the passage and it could be very good with a bit of clean-up work done on it.

Just some notes:

It's "stricken" not "striken." You use that word in key places. When it is spelled incorrectly, it becomes an intellectual speed-bump. This is only a relaxed web-forum and I'm no Grammar Nazi, but it's still about "writing" and those rules are certainly applicable when presenting something for critique.

When giving proper names, you need to capitalize them. So, when referring to "The Beast" as a proper entity, it needs to be capitalized. When referring to it as just a "beast" or an animal, then you shouldn't. Failing to do that invites ambiguity and confusion.

Work on avoiding comma-splices - They unnecessarily break up the flow of thought or indicate change where none was intended. Instead, review the passage for where you should start new sentences or remove commas in order to control the pace and keep within grammatical rules so the passage is easier to read. (For myself, I'm terrible with commas. I murder them by the wagon-load and spend their little lives with complete disregard... Commas are my own, personal, enemy and I have frequent trouble when dealing with them.)