That's right, I'm still here. You can't get rid of Elzabar that easily. Well, in truth, I'd be long gone by now, if it weren't for the charm of the Editor, and those damned handcuffs. Oh, right, reporting. Well, I've hired some help of my own, not that I need it...
It would seem Herr FieldMarshall Rommel never actually died, he was merely abducted by the Helios team, and put away until the time was right. That time has come, and the FieldMarshall has finally grasped the many tricks of the English language. With his great strategical genius, Rommel has done a report on the galaxy in the
thirty seventh century. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you
Erwin Rommel's most excellent report on the Ancient Empire, arguably the greatest faction in the thirty seventh century galaxy.
First off, maybe when you're clicking on the new post button, some thread appears on top with the weird name of the some faction, some of you think "Oh, maybe a fantasy mod, lets check it out.", or the thread “Fleet Movements”, at first, “Oh must be a thread concerning the accuracy of ship movements in ETW”. Tough luck kid, its not. You’ve just stumbled into the realm of Stellar Alliances, located in the Coliseum Sub-Forum, a world of its own, or in a more accurate term, a GALAXY of its own. With its own factions ranging from fish people (Zeuxuans) to lizard people (Trandoshans), where there’s a faction that has sponges as the main race. Of course there’s humans, 7, last count. The rest are whatever race the people here can imagine. This is a short intro of one of those factions.
The Ancient Empire (Non-Human)
Simple name isn’t it? With 22 Planets and 3 colonies, it is undoubtedly one of the “super” factions around the SA Galaxy. Created by Sidmen, the description of the “beings” of the Empire is a good read; he put a lot of effort to it to flesh out a faction of sponges that covers itself in metal. The faction started when the current SA started by Turn 1 so it has a good lead. But with shrewd movements and cunning decisions it has made itself one of the strongest out there. It has defeated already another faction and the Empire has faithful allies.
The main race is composed of what Sid can devise down his head, Sponge-like sentient beings that can form themselves in human shape just for the sake that it’s common around the galaxy.
[quote=Sidmen]“While the Imperials look humanoid, they share nothing else in common with the rest of the galaxy. Even their humanoid shape isn't a commonality with the rest of the galactic species. Naturally, Imperials appear to be a highly energetic and active sponge-like creature. The imperial consciousness, and 'brain activity' is spread all throughout this sponge-like matter. In this stage, the Imperial is aware - and possesses some remarkable abilities. Early Sponge-state Imperials have the ability to manipulate magnetic fields, and process complex thoughts, as the state matures and grows - its magnetic strength grows and it begins to be able to reach out with its mind and communicate with other minds.”[/quote]
As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, Erwin Rommel has worked long and hard on this. But that won't be all, he'll be back to report on more factions, and bring you all closer to the galaxy that is Stellar Alliances. And speaking of Stellar Alliances, I bring you all a report on the recent events in the galaxy.
Since last Helios, there's been quite a fair amount of action in the galaxy, despite my own absence for a large part of the week. Two wars have gone on in the South West quadrant of the galaxy, one of which is just beginning. The
Mercantile Republic of Sek went to war against the somewhat familiar Socialist faction, the
USSSR. The
War was quite costly to both sides, as well as several mercenary groups which hired themselves out. The socialist and seperatist revolutions, which occured in the
Colonial Federation of Kalmar, turned out to be funded by another government,
Priscus Aemilius, which led to the next war.
On that solemn note, I will leave the milky way and the thirty seventh century. To long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
*Star Wars music begins playing, audience is silent*
[quote=Sidmen]Thermian Squad was the brainchild of General Richard Radcliff, commander of the planetary garrison of Thermia. Following the Thermian rebellion, where nearly a third of the native Thermian garrison sided with the rebels, it became clear that Thermian troops couldn't be relied upon to keep the planet secure in the name of the Empire, but requesting foreign troops would increase costs (thus decreasing his salary).
General Radcliff then came to a remarkable decision: He would keep the Thermian militias, but hire commando squads composed of foreign mercenaries to weed out any insurrections. Thermian Squad is the first of these merc squads, and you are a part of it. Pulled from all sides of the Galactic Empire, you have come to Thermia highly recommended by previous employers.
Meeting for the first time, Thermian Squad has been assembled in a dropship on its way to a separatist HQ...[/quote]
The Thermian Squad soon met resistance, four rebel soldiers ordering them to surrender. Lucien, a stubborn Mandolorian, didn't wait for the count of three, but fired at one of the rebel soldiers, wounding him severely. The rebel soldiers returned fire, and still, the battle rages on.
I'm getting confused with this jumping back and forward in time now, as now we go to the fantasy world of Dungeons and Dragons. Ephialtes the Dog has his hands full running two campaigns of D&D. The Diviuk Forest, where Alvin, aka Gandalf, leads a party in a hunt for the werewolf, and the DunHill Market, where three adventurers are tasked with the protection of Edgar's
pigs.
And now, I go back to the
Your Best Jokes (Rep may be awarded...), where VLAD FELIX
still continues to make us laugh with his hilarious jokes. And here is one of his jokes:
[quote=VLAD FELIX;3792231]A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said:
- Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.
- Did you dance much?
- I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to.......[/quote]
Sadly, there isn't much else to report on in the Coliseum; I want to save some stuff for the next Helios!
Helios 32: It's the Hoopy Froods!
)
YEAH, COMMIN' AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHER-
Originally Posted by The Sundance Kid
