Here it is!
That Which Lies Broken
A curse is on me, echoing in fiery fury throughout the circles of mortality
It burns my soul, troubled and dejected in endless torment,
I have cause enough to quarrel with you, that thou are alive and free
And look you to me, a shade of glory past, humbled and shattered by three
Great sins of mine, whose fault I own enough for thee
Alas the day that I saw you walk the path towards me
You smiled, never heeded my downcast eyes before you knew
You said “hello”, a simple greeting, and I whispered “hi” in kind,
O, lament fair soul, lament, kindness that was new to me
I wish I could have held aloof from you, that my wiles were not deceived
I wish I could have spouted ill and terrible things from this accursed mouth to thee
I wish, I wish, oh how I wish
That I did not long for your kiss, in vain
A lower school surpassed, my mind at rest, I still must past another test
Another place to test my skills, to glean my mind, and whet the mills
Of my desire, you’re my flower
But I must fight, for now I am
The beast, fighting always and waging bloody war
Never a victory, never a respite for I
Am surrounded by madmen, monsters with little purpose or sense,
Yet still you held aloof from common men, and thus
I had fancied myself to be the object of your desire.
Yet my flaws have been pointed out before me, bastard children mutter
And desecrate my honor, thankless and unheeded I am left to sputter
And she looks away, alas, how weak and destroyed I am!
Fighting a lost cause, rage my only weapon, hate my only game
I’ve smashed their best into the ground, and allowed the taste of my hand
To ravage their mouths, the animal I am, the demon I have become
But if you had told me that we were meant to be,
The sweet touch of your hands on me,
Its feeling would wash away the tyrant in me.
I did tell you I loved you once, when we were younger,
Heedless, foolishly, I let it slip, a vile trick
Of the tongue that should have known yours ere this was said,
I have doomed myself, uttering the preface of lovers,
When all you have ever thought of me was as a friend,
A foolish, bumbling, misshapen and violent fraud of a man,
Alas, yes! Too accurately were you to describe me.
Do you remember all the things we did together?
How we laughed and ran together?
I would have fought the world for you,
Since fighting is all I seem to know and do, despite my desire for peace,
You would have been worth the risks indeed.
Men speak of beauty with reverence, trusting to what they know,
But your eyes have no context, brown that they are
Your hair is a proud mare’s envy, a Spaniard’s glory,
Your body has the look of models and queens,
Your laugh can uplift despairing bums of misfortune,
Your mind, I fear it is too similar to mine,
Our thoughts have most often taken flight together,
So why did you choose José over me? A fool,
An athlete, true, but a coward nonetheless,
I could have broken him for this insult, and in truth I surpass him,
I outshine him in every venue,
Yet by your unknowable and supreme confusion,
You took him to prom, not me.
Baby, I have condemned myself already.
There is nothing more to say, for I
Will be a soldier soon, arrayed in armor and prepared,
To see things you will never have to see,
To fight the demons you never have to know,
To roar my last warcry to the winds and the gods of the sky,
The only thought that comforts me, see here a horrid vision:
A young man whose sorrow was never to know love, his eyes
Are blank and expressionless, and yet slightly crazed,
As they dart to and fro in the search of more prey,
His nostrils fuming for the scent of the slaughter,
His mouth wide open and screaming with the curses it utters,
His hands wield weapons of steel and plastic, swift in death,
His fingers go numb from constant pressure,
His beard becomes singed from the smoke and flames,
Click click click, he’s out,
His main weapons gone, he slides out a knife akin to that of Rambo’s,
And runs towards the incoming horde, their own faces screaming hate,
They are a poor reflection of himself, distorted by a different experience,
He smiles, and slashes himself through the thin curtains of existence,
And into the sweet nothingness of oblivion,
Here my tale ends. Goodbye, my love.