Advertisement, Please Criticise.

[Evolution]

'God Save the King' is a unique role-playing game designed for Medieval II: Total War with the help of Total War Center's forums (www.twcenter.net). For those of you who are familiar with the 'Democracy Game' and 'You Are The Senate', GSTK (God Save The King) is an updated and improved version of such RPGs. GSTK will be using the mod Stainless Steel 4.1 (Patch 1.3).

In GSTK, you will be given a chance to create a fictional character which will be part of the game. (We are working on creating new ancillaries representing GSTK members.) You will be able to, among other things: command massive battles against the blood-thirsty Scots; govern settlements, where you may create a thriving city or a mighty fortress. However, if this military life doesn't suit you, you can take the path of God; start out as a humble priest and aspire to the Papacy.

An alternative to which career your character chooses in GSTK is that it will have the chance of become a family member and could even hope to become king of the Empire. We at GSTK are currently beginning the English campaign and we are hoping to create more careers, such as, for example, Espionage, Assassination, Diplomacy and Trade careers.

If you visit the GSTK forums on TWC (http://www.twcenter.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=266), you will notice the 'Houses of Parliament/Palace of Westminster' subforum. This is the place where members will be able to discuss the kingdoms plan in the House of Lords/House of Commons... for example: what plan of action we should take and how much money we should spend on military matters. You will also be given the chance to gain a fief which your character may command on the campaign map. (We also allow all members to create an estate.)

For more information and a great experience please visit our forums. We are located at the www.twcenter.net forums under Medieval 2 Total War Discussion, God Save the King (Under After Action Report and battle planning. Alternatively though you can click on this link: God Save The King Role Playing Game.

Hoping that you will join,

God Save the King Team.

Proofedited. -KOS

[Evolution]

Please Tell me your thoughts, Even bad ones so I may Improve!

For Example: Any errors, Anything I missed, Any thing I should Explain more...

[Gobmech]

Very nice, but there's a lot of words randomly capitalized in the middle of sentences (Alternative, Notice, as examples.)

[Evolution]

Yes I know I get very Excited.

Thanks I'll sort that out.

[Philos Sophos]

It needs the Grammar Nazi!

[knight of virtue and valor]

Couldn't of put it better, Obi-wan, it is short sweet, and gets people to want to check it out, I would rep you but cant for now.

[Watercress]

well it aint short, but its good.

[Evolution]

Update:

Capital Letters in wrong places. Fixed

Some grammar (crap at it). Fixed

Changed the Word 'Fantasy' To 'Fictional'. Fixed

And re arranged some sentences. Fixed

[Gobmech]

Because I felt like it:

[RVFVS]

One word....awesome

[Gobmech]

Update:

Capital Letters in wrong places. Fixed

Some grammar (crap at it). Fixed

Changed the Word 'Fantasy' To 'Fictional'. Fixed

And re arranged some sentences. Fixed

Perhaps change this part:

An alternative to which career your man chooses in GSTK,

to:

An alternative to which career you character chooses in GSTK,

Just a suggestion.

[Evolution]

Thank you, Here is your Reward. I shall +Rep Every body who has helped improve this.

Updated :

Man to Character.


Should I have it like this:

An alternative to which career your character chooses....

or Updated to this:

An alternative to what career your character chooses....

[Philos Sophos]

"the 'GSTK' (God Save The King) are providing"

Maybe "the 'GSTK' (God Save The King) is providing"?

[Evolution]

Thank you,+rep.

Updated.

[Winter]

You guys can post this in the YATS forum if we can post an ad here.

[Mythre]

You will be able to command HUGE battles against the blood thirsty Scot, govern settlements where you may create a thriving money making city or the biggest military complex in the world and you may take the path of god; starting out as a humble priest owning his own place of worship to the most powerful man in the world... the pope!

I would recommend changing this passage to this,

You will be able to command HUGE battles against the blood thirsty Scots, govern settlements allowing you to create a thriving city or a mighty fortress.
If this doesn't suit you, take the path of God, start out as a humble priest and aspire to the papacy.

Think it sounds smoother

[Evolution]

If this doesn't suit you, take the path of God, start out as a humble priest and aspire to the papacy.r

I'll add all of that above but I included the word However At the beginning.

You have been Rewarded +Rep.

[Evolution]

You guys can post this in the YATS forum if we can post an ad here.

What do you plan on advertising?

[Dance the older]

It's very good, Obi-Wan. Well done.

[KoS]

It needs the Grammar Nazi!

Somebody call?