The Worship of Kong

[Strengelicher]

I most humbly desire admission to the Khurch! I have fasted (not played for two whole days), repented (all the years having played vanilla...) and received visions (played again... blink... sun coming up already?). At the end of my long pilgrimage I now arrive at the temple and find it... deserted! A lonely brother named Stig is wailing in the crypts, and another potential novice is standing around, asking the questions of a layman. Can this be the mighty Khurch fabled in the scriptures of old?

[Ferdiad]

The Khurch is fallen and dead. gracul is our god now.

[The Stig]

Hey guys does this religion have baptism or anything

Stainless Steel is your baptism.

I most humbly desire admission to the Khurch! I have fasted (not played for two whole days), repented (all the years having played vanilla...) and received visions (played again... blink... sun coming up already?). At the end of my long pilgrimage I now arrive at the temple and find it... deserted! A lonely brother named Stig is wailing in the crypts, and another potential novice is standing around, asking the questions of a layman. Can this be the mighty Khurch fabled in the scriptures of old?

Fear not newcomer! Though the Khurch empties at times, the P-Ape and his Kardinals and Inquisitors always return gather the faithful and lead us in our prayers for the second coming. For now, all we can do is await the glory of the 7th coming.

[Bob Doad]

Ok can i join my parents say i cant be atheism so i need to join a religion annnnnnnnnnd this seems like a damn good idea

[Kameraden]

Brother Stig, thy hast doneth a great deed, resurrecting this thread most prodigious! Blessing of the Holy Primate upon thee.
May the fruits of your banana tree be ripe and delicious.

Hey guys does this religion have baptism or anything

If you truly wish to join our ranks, then in the name of our Mod God and beloved P-Ape, henceforth you shall be one of the brethren of the Holy Khurch of Kong.
Let us celebrate this with some ripe bananas&banana milkshake.

The Khurch is fallen and dead. gracul is our god now.

And as for you, heathen of the devastated Wasteland and forsaken Wilderness, begone you foul seed of Devil, E:TW and all that is unholy!
Leave this thread most holy and stop this unruly mockery of our Khurch and house of the Divine Ape!

[Navajo Joe]

Brothers of the Khurch,

Thank goodness for Brother Stig, bringing this most holiest of threads back to where it belongs. The Seventh Coming of SS will be with us sometime soon, but not lead by the Mod God King Kong. Yes, it is lead by one of his disciples gracul, combined with many more of the Khurch's brethren. We must celebrate that KK created this most fabulous of creations to us.

Brother Kameraden do not be too hard on Ferdiad, he too is a good contributor to our most wonderful mod, although it would appear he does not quite see the light. Ferdiad come to the temple and read the Holy books of Kong and learn the right ways.

Kardinal Navajo Joe

[The Stig]

It warms my heart to see Kardinal Joe and Inquisitor Kameraden return to once more grace the pages of this thread. Let us give thanks to the Holy Kongity and take part in the consumption of many banannas.

I have no god but Kong, who is King
I take part in the Holy Kongity
I await the 7th coming of the Kongity
I do not stray from Kong's creations
Kongaluja

[Ferdiad]

Brothers of the Khurch,

Thank goodness for Brother Stig, bringing this most holiest of threads back to where it belongs. The Seventh Coming of SS will be with us sometime soon, but not lead by the Mod God King Kong. Yes, it is lead by one of his disciples gracul, combined with many more of the Khurch's brethren. We must celebrate that KK created this most fabulous of creations to us.

Brother Kameraden do not be too hard on Ferdiad, he too is a good contributor to our most wonderful mod, although it would appear he does not quite see the light. Ferdiad come to the temple and read the Holy books of Kong and learn the right ways.

Kardinal Navajo Joe

I cannot Worshipper of the Fallen one, I cannot read nor write, gracul has not yet given me the ability to.

[The Noble Lord]

Brotherhood of KONG rejoice.

Because of our unbroken faith and loyalty to the almighty KONG, we have

successfully convinced Strengelicher that his wicked ways are only leading him

to hell where he will be condemned for all eternity. He has recognized his

wrong ways and decided to submit and accept the salvation. We welcome

him as one of our brothers.

@Paragon has found the salvation as well. We welcome him too as one of our brothers.

I ONCE WAS LOST BUT NOW I AM FOUND, I ONCE WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE. ALL THAT IS THANKS TO ALMIGHTY KING KONG.

The Noble Lord Inquisitive Viceroy of the Kong

[Stephan de St. Omer]

Fear no more my mighty brothers in Kong!

For thine P-Ape has returend in this hour of most dire need!

By the utmost power given to me by this holy Kong-regation I herwith baptize Stengelicher and Bob Doad to be henceforth fully fledged members of this holy Khurch and they shall now be known to all members of this temple as "The Late Twins of Kong" as appointed by P-Ape Stephan de St. Omer, mightiest of the princes of Kong and chosen Grand Puba of Kongism. "The Late Twins of Kong" are tasked with rebuilding this temple and spread the word of Kong and acquire new followers. May the Greate Ape always grant you his favour and may you both be worthy of this task.

Brethren Viceroy The Noble Lord, Kardinal Navajo Joe and Inkuisitor Kameraden: I salute you and greet you after this long absence of ours. It is good to see you still keep a watchful eye upon our Khurch whilst I was away battling heathens on every front. Our Lord the great Kong will return soon to show HIS Greatness again. Meanwhile eat all you bananas and dream of Konghalla were all our fallen brethren gather and feast upon huge banana milkshakes!

Rejoice, the Khurch stands still strong even if the heathens and heretics say otherwise. They still have not seen the great wisdom we have seen. May they too be enlightened soon!

Kongaluja!

Your P-Ape Stephan de St. Omer

[Stephan de St. Omer]

Hey guys does this religion have baptism or anything

Brother in Kong Paragon. I hereby baptize you by the powers vested in me by this holy Khurch. Be henceforth know as the "The Great Inquirer of Kong" for you ask the right questions always!

Members of the Khurch, welcome this new Member in Kong and rejoice!

P-Ape Stephan de St. Omer

[Kameraden]

Good to see you here P-Ape,

it saddens my heart that the Khurch has been abandoned for so long, but since both P-Ape and Inquisitive Viceroy have returned, it's a day worth celebrating!
Kongaluja Brothers of the Khurch and followers of Kong, let us celebrate this event with ripe bananas and cold banana milkshake.

If only our beloved Tea Chimp would visit our sanctuary, I hope that Almighty Kong would visit his dreams and guide him back to the Khurch.

~Inkuisitor Kameraden

[Strengelicher]

Ah. I feel baptized.

[Ferdiad]

KK has been so inactive lately because he got captured by a poacher. He know lives in a Zoo.

[Stephan de St. Omer]

Good to see you here P-Ape,

it saddens my heart that the Khurch has been abandoned for so long, but since both P-Ape and Inquisitive Viceroy have returned, it's a day worth celebrating!
Kongaluja Brothers of the Khurch and followers of Kong, let us celebrate this event with ripe bananas and cold banana milkshake.

If only our beloved Tea Chimp would visit our sanctuary, I hope that Almighty Kong would visit his dreams and guide him back to the Khurch.

~Inkuisitor Kameraden

Yes you're right brother in Kong. And what an amazing sig you sport!!! Excellent! Do not worry, Kardinal Henry will return - in time! He is with me here since the beginning, when our grnad khurch founder illuminati2025 was still with us. May he be blessed by Kong!

P-Ape Stephan de St. Omer

[The Noble Lord]

We, the followers of almighty KONG are getting stronger and stronger by the day!




The Noble Lord Inquisitive Viceroy of the Kong

[Satrio Eko]

lol,this is heresy
i wil report to the pope to send the inquisitor

[Satrio Eko]

Inquisitor!!!!!!!
where are you

[General Maximus]

Dear Brothers,

May the blessings of Kong shower upon you. I am seeing that there are rumours of heresy. I hope you all will stay strong and fight against it if it is true.

Brother General Maximus
Leader of Kong's Crusaders

[Stephan de St. Omer]

Brothers in Kong,
these mighty halls have fallen silent lately! But do not worry as the great Ape watches over us. I have returned to give you faith in our Lord and be sure that for every member of this church there is a seat reserved in Konghalla! Keep the faith and enjoy the works of our master.
P-Ape Stephan de St. Omer