AAR-MEN-NIEN

[LlamaD]

1234



The two nice little siblings made Beatriz to the mockery of the whole royal court.
: Embarrassing! How could you do that to me, Ghazig! *wäääähäääääähääääähäääää* *cries tearful* *runs away*
: Maybe I didn't treat you...

...Quite as good as i should have

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best
Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have

: That ain't no question.


Almost equally important, the army training moves on strong. Today's drill gives a good look at the status of the army.
German

With the all of a sudden *blink* *blink* Death of the Ayyubid Sultan, some severe changes came into the life and treatment of Cakmak. More on that later.




Two asstourists tried to get in with an surprise proposal, yet the were declined fast enough.

: Too tight, fellas! Look elsewhere!



The council of nobles do their part and sent 5000 florins ...straight to the Spymaster.

: Finally....now i can start...


But Arqa Arsen the Mighty already had some eyes Never wondered where all the King's eyes come from? on the transaction.
: Hold on my old friend... where do you want to go with my money?
: Uh, ah, err...wanted to bring it right to the treasurer... so that he can ...have a look...he had some rather bad times...lately...
: Noble effort, but that's not necessary. I'll take it with me. I'm getting nice discount rates...time for shopping! *and out*
: This is going overboard...



In the wake of this coup, Arqa Arsen is now known as Arqa Arsen the Watcher.




The other nephew of him, Goriun Astagian was about to follow the (bloody) footsteps of our new Strategos.




He retold his scarfacestory..yet again




However, it took only a tiny little push to convince the Seldjuks to fly away.




Almost too little, as the Saints gathered yet another club member.




Arqa Arsen the Watcher could not stand the Saintlings, so he intervened.

: That is a good one, finally!
: As long as he helps me fighting the injustice in the world...hooraay!



The Seldjuks respond to the authority-offensive push. They seized one in our own district! May the Lord have mercy for the citizen and peasants, because the authorities of both sides will surely not!



Being the Watcher, a lot more spies and other villains populate the kingdom.

: Name 'em correctly and i'll erase 'em!
: I see.....
: ...that this rule will save the life of many Armenians.

At the tavern, time to gain insight on the tax system..


In the meantime, the Seldjuks tried to get a cheap ceasefire. But they asked the wrong person for it. With his mind on his numerous children, Yasin the Mauler insisted on some small gifts. Still a generous offer, though....

Well, now they can't say we gave 'em no chance...


As a (possible) result, the newly constructed animal health authority is approached by angry local veterinarians.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

: Hey, you there! Stop reading spoilers and go back to work! And pay your taxes!! Big Arsen is watching you!

[molls]

Messenger from the Kingdom of Bananas, my lord.

Greetings mofo, I am here to pronounce that my master took his time and achieved to read your diary to page 4 recently and was amazed by the superb roleplaying style that's very tempting to be recreated!

A diary is supposed only to be read by the author or spies... You have aquired too much information...
*faints into darkness*

*sweats* eh.. yes and, hah :/ .. my master says he will continue reading as soon as possible and eh good bye -

I'm hungry. Do you have bananas?

*steps back* No plox I don't heh ehh *tweaking eye lid*

I will eat your banana now.

Stop this instant! Thou shouldst not propose sexual acts in front the royal court!

All around here not directly related to me - you can sod off, I have got a headache.

[LlamaD]

1235

Another Foreign Dignitary? What are the guards doing all night?
German

The council of nobles sets a bounty at the head of Rifat Koprulu.

Albeit not a very lucrative one..


Coming back to the local veterinarians, Abirad, Strategos and Patron Saint of all governmental Authorities, faces the resilient Seldjuks. What's that fuzz with the doctors all about?




A short summary of the following battle...

Click to view content: 

Pictures say more than..........don't they?

With the public law and order in foreign lands restored, Abirad Strategos could move a step further.

Someone at home?


Knocking apparently works, at least enough to distract Rifat Koprulu.



Freshly crowned and now eager to finish his mission, Kalif Cakmak is interrupted.


: Halt! In order to pass through you need papers....oh jolly good florin!....It's Kalif Cakmak! May the earth you walk on be blessed!
: Ha! Finally they pay me respect. Now, i can move through..
: Hold on a second..you can't! You need to solve your papers-problem first.

: Remember where the seals are tested? Better hurry, aging Majesty! *haha*
: What the....I have an agreement with the Arqa!!
: About what exactly? Peace? Maybe. Disrespecting the Armenian Law? I don't think so.
: *grrrrr* Is this a trick or..
: You can believe me...there's nothing wrong with my words...since ...I'm their law.

And you can't beat the law

What we're dealing with here is a total lack of respect for the law


I'm the law and you can't beat the law
I'm the law and you can't beat the law
I'm the law and you can't beat the law


Fakk 'em and their law


Crack down at sundown


Fakk 'em and their law

Meanwhile...the seldjukish Chief Veterinarian appears on the scene to veto.


: Open up! We don't need no armenian regulations here!



Goriun Tumarch has to intercept him. And can count on some severe chemical weapons..




Skipping his scaring homestory, Goriun introduces his men to logic and Baybars to the need of Armenian Authorities.



It's not an easy task to convince Baybars that he is wrong...



..but with the right pointer...



...and some cross-over-and-behind arguments...



..he finally has to realize that perhaps, maybe..somehow...these new authorities are something good. Of course, he still got the other option to just die.

Pigheaded Baybars, really..


And so the local concerns were all overruled.


A great Victory for all of Christendom!



..which has to be cheered at the next tavern. Which happens to be in Malazgirt.

Abirad Strategos had an easy time sieging. In fact, he could even produce enjoy the news of another son born!




He can say that it's all about the animal health that they are here....



...and justice, too...



..and after testing the woodworm population at the gates...


..Captain Canbulut might aswell check out if all horse genitals are still good.

Don't. think. about. this. sentence.


Overcoming the garrisons resistance, Abirad Strategos and Goriun Tumarch can now explore the city holes unhurriedly.



They throw a nice little party.

[hima]

Excellent humor, Superior Tactics : I love your AAR

[Jaketh]

" I dont not intend to sulk in the manner of a frenchmen" LOL HE BASHED THE FRENCH!!!

[LlamaD]

Excellent humor, Superior Tactics : I love your AAR

: What is this? Attack of the PostGhost Clones?

Click to view content: 

Excellent humor, Superior Tactics...............

+ Rep

" I dont not intend to sulk in the manner of a frenchmen" LOL HE BASHED THE FRENCH!!!

:*with hard voice* A last warning.

Click to view content: 

:*yowl* Rrwauu! *whimper*

[Aldgarkalaughskel]

..Captain Canbulut might aswell check out if all horse genitals are still good.

Don't. think. about. this. sentence.

What do you mean, exactly? You dis' me? Do you want a kick in the face?
Well.. ermm.. I didn't mean... I meant genial... OOOKAY, you know that horses have too long of that! And it's freaking me out that they are on every damn picture I take!
Do you stigmatize us? Well, here's your kick then anyway!
But I meant...

[LlamaD]

1236

Ye,ye, the Tavern..
German



Slaughter was the word of the day after the party.

Click to view content: 

Arqa Arsen the Watcher is gone.
Perhaps it was anger, perhaps his dreadful reputation started its own life.... but killing 20000 citizen at Malazgirt certainly changed the way he was seen in- and outside the Armenian Kingdom.
: Fear. Fear attracts the fearful. The strong. The weak. The innocent. The corrupt. Fear. Fear is my ally. And my Strategos followed suit.


Abirad Strategos was a useful tool for once... He had to do the bloody work, and a lot of his former chivalric and noble behaviour ...leftovers... but he feels it is his religious duty.

Damn right.


Some Brigands on their way to a certain Dungeon, yet they don't know it.
So despite some superstitous soldiers, everthing is ready for a little ambush on the road.



Haydar the Saint exposes proves his knowledge of cultural peculiarities.



On the other side...
: Hurry, men! After repeatedly getting astray, we finally found the right province.. Now, lets see if there are signs of Nu man.....Uh, whats that? Riders and men with dragonflies...err..flying dragons on their back?



It may not be nice to shoot, but Saints do not need to be nice..



And so, the ambitious Brigands bleed.



Stay on the road...trespassers will be shot!



..or poked.



..or kicked in the air.



Looks like Nu man won't get out so soon.



While Esayi the one-eyed smuggling Priest gets married [sic!], Yasin the Mauler assigned the Drillmaster to his services.

If that won't lead to trouble .... - at least with the Quartermaster


The huge slaughter of Malazgirt is tried to be avenged.



...with an own slaughter after a siege.

Brilliant Plan. Who is their strategos?


While they think they have us trapped...



...Abirad Strategos and Goriun Tumarch sneaked out the back way had other plans.



Some slight lack in discipline..



..is exploited and punished.



Losing your leader drops the enemies will even lower.



The rest is history.



Because there was no other choice.



One army defeated. Three new on their way.



And in the family news....another Princess?

Let's see how beautiful this fruit of Arqayazn Ghazig the Saint's loins is.

Ouch, ouch

[LlamaD]

1237


: Hey Ghevont....whats the name of the Seldjuk with the bounty on his head?
: Uh....Rif...something.... Kifferolu...
: Could it be Riza Evrenosoglu?
: Possible......yeah that sounds right.
: Done.

Click to view content: 

: I'll take care of the rest.

And despite some more heartwarming things, the battle begins.


The brave ...



...versus the spears.



Frontal Clash.



Kneebreaking result.


The offer to fight on: turned away.


Fleeing.



Skewering.



And falling.




In the end, a step more.To the sword, for the prisoners.



Abirads renactment of the merciless Arqa pays off....

Abirad the Merciless sounds better, if you don't ask the seldjuks, of course.


: Expect no mercy!

Expect no mercy

If you're ready for the street
You wanna mix it in some fight
Let me tell you somethin
Now I don't wanna get you uptight
But if you're in a corner
And you can't find no way out
Don't look around for no help
No, no there wont be any around

Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy


So you think you got a case
And you think you know the score
No you don't wanna listen
You can't be told no more
But wait'll you get out there
You better do it right
cause the streets are lined with things that kill
And they're hidin' in the night

Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy


Feel that you can cut it
You think you got the time
They'll only give you one chance
Better get it right first time
And the game youre playing
If you lose you gotta pay
If you make just one wrong move
You'll get blown away

Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy
Expect no mercy, expect no mercy

Corresponding with this message, the local truth, sold for only a few florins.
German




At court:


: The named Seldjuk General is dead. Collect the bounty.
: Idiot! The name of the target is Rifat Koprulu, aka Rifat Amir Al-Liva. And he is very much alive! Who told you to kill?
: Ghevont...the clever Sonovabitsch!


With Abirad now a merciless butcher, the job for Strategos is open. A good time to promote Goriun, hopefully he learned how to be a good Strategos.




The financial Situation is quite good.

: Oh yeah? And the actual treasury is 3 florins? Are you kidding or insulting me?


Near a station of the law...Kalif Cakmak moves apathetically along..



: Ssssst!
: Hm?
: Cakmak, don't you want to get out of this Kingdom and home to your wife?
: Hell yeah! I...
: Ssssst! Stop the cursing... I can help you and protect your soul against the rapacious authorities that hold you back...if you will.
: Save me, Jemus!
: Ok then, listen. First, you need to go straight to the Sealtesting Authority. He will ask you about the password... Tell him its "swordfish"
: Surely not Rosebutt?
: Quiet, filthy follower!
: Password Swordfish..i don't understand, but i will try.
: Then he uses to put up another difficult question. He wants you to say his real name.
: Lemme guess, it's not Seal, Neifi?
: Or Tom tit Tot?
: Not. It's Rumpelstiltskin.
: Absurd....but will he then let me pass the lands?
: Almost. All you need more to leave is a formular for the export of camel dung. Don't ask, just get it. It's so far the only known way to leave the Kingdom. The guards are on duty. You can get in easily, but its tough to get out.. Ah who am i tellin'?
: And what do you want in return for your favour?
: All you have to do is go and do as i told you. And never turn your head back. I don't need anything from you.
: Really? A giving soul? Here? You have to be some kind of prophet or something....and i doubt that Jemus is your real name....but i think you could need some trust, eh?
: Just go.



After his namespelling faux pas, Ghevont the Clever had to hide far away from the court.

The holy city in the hands of the enemy? Are our allies sleeping and dreaming about four horsemen or what?

: Pssst. No reason for treason.

[Arto]

That's a weird picture for a Caliph of Jerusalem. So how is the Western Front if that exist?

[repman]

Don't forget to vote for this AAR

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=189340

repman

[LlamaD]

1238


Beatriz, crying and arguing with her husband ...

: *wääääh* Marry me and we will have some nice little children, you said! And victory that is the result?!? *pointing to the three oldest children*
: Disgusting how long one can be angry because she did not get kissed.
: Avoid mirrors,mother.
: Get down on it.
: *fierce* Who do you think you are? Kool and the Gang? *leaves, swearing silently and shedding the last tears*
: Me, a..
&: ... Daddy Cool?

Daddy Cool

Shes crazy like a fool
&
What about it daddy cool


Shes crazy like a fool

What about it daddy cool

Im crazy like a fool

What about it daddy cool

&
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool


Shes crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

Im crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

&
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool


(spoken) shes crazy about her daddy
Oh she believes in him

She loves her daddy


Shes crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

Im crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

&
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool

Cakmak made it back to the Sealtester



: I got your password. It's swordfish.
: Well, it was pretty obvious, wasn't it? *points loosely towards some Horse feathers on his hat*
: Errr...
: Fine, fine. But you still can't pass. You know, it's against the law....and i can't make an exception. ..At least, as long as you can't say my name - when now one else is around you.
: Your name? Uh...Adolf Stein?
: Nope, not right. You have two more tries.
: Päronskaft?
: Not ...quite.
: Enough! You're Rumpelstiltskin!
: *gets a red face* Who.... DEVIL told you that!!!
: *calm* actually, it was Jemus.
: *calms down, too* Jemus? Oh, well. I'm cool with that. Jemus he knows me.

Coz Jemus he knows me

Cos Jemus he knows me
And he knows I'm right
I've been talking to Jemus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right

And he's been telling me

Everything is alright



I believe in the family
With my ever loving wife beside me
But she don't know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night


Do you believe in God

Cos that is what I'm selling
And if you wanna get to heaven
I'll see you right


Cos Jemus he knows me
And he knows I'm right
I've been talking to Jemus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right

And he's been telling me
Everything gonna be alright

: So it's over now? I can go home?
: Oh, of course, yes. *stamps a document with a florin* Here, for you. But wait, do you have eighteen million florins? I need 'em till the weekend..
: *runs away*



Haydar the other, real speak "masked pervert" Saint got one of his son coming of age, too.




However, surprisingly, completely unforeseen.. ,err .....well, why talk around the hot (dead) dog. He fell from his horse while hunting young boys girls. A real pity.

At least Haydar the Saint can now seek advice from Yasin the Mauler how to deal with such losses.



The tax stations do now offer places where you can complain about your specific taxes.

Not.



The first/remaining diplomat of the kingdom, a well travelled Assatourian, secured the already de facto established ceasefire.


However, someone seems to believe that the vassals of the moneybags needdeserve protection by an alliance.

: *blink*


Arqa Arsen the Merciless has fallen seriously ill again.

On a second thought, he has adopted to the ways of psychological warfare with the handling of truth and lies, too. Hmmm....



Another attack against our authorities!



Rifat Amir al-Liva tries to put an end to the winningstreak of the Armenian Kingdom aswell as the expansion of their bureaucracy.



The last defenders of the law group together and rally their minds and hearts.



True words. In general.



Rising high...



...probably to high in spirit. And was it necessary to sally out to meet the enemy?




Then, no retreat can save the formerly overconfident captain.




Things are getting tight.

Yeah, perhaps.


For today, all is lost.

But mark the words.


The Seldjuks proved today that they won't go away easily. And they got some punches left.



The mood in the tavern is according.

[LlamaD]

Bla bla bla weird bla bla bla Caliph bla-alb blablabla. Bla blabla blablabla bla bla Western Front bli bla blubb?

:*destroys a desk or two with his head* AARgh!
: I found bliss in ignorance. You should try that, too. See, i don't even care where the filthy Drillmaster is now instead of there with me - oh my gawd, these noobsfresh recruits are getting on my nerves...aaaarffff - so life is quite easier with ignorance. *puuuh*
: *raises eyebrow* Really?
: Aaaah, would you please let go of my eyebrow? Thanks in advance...
: The dog is dead meat.

Please forget about voting for this AAR!

: Like i said....
: Enough! Gimme a break! Or another dog! Srsly, my disapprovement is rising incredibly high.

[repman]

Don't forget to vote !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=189340


repman

[Elvallie]

Voted.

[LlamaD]

: *scary voice* Hehe, i bet he's hopping mad. *harharhar*

[molls]

Sir, might I suggest that you attach the rules for posting in this thread to the top and the bottom of your post, as well
as in between your text in a distance of 30 lines periodically and at last put it in your signature?

[LlamaD]

: Two weeks of vacation are nice. Uhm..what's new?

Don't bother to count my exclamation marks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just gimme some
rap, MAN

Vomitted. 2nd.

: Ugghhhh.
: No. Don't even ask.
: I'm just waiting for the stroke to happen.

[LlamaD]

1239

A defeat? What's that?

Not quite.


Regardless of good and bad news, the Abeleans keep growing.



With the mercilessly (fallen ill) Arqa losing some health, his son sees an opportunity.

: Is this the time? He lost, is old and sick...what else are we waiting for?
: Uh, do you really think you might succeed now? With your current family? *shakes head*
: Why not? I'm still a Saint.
: Perhaps on paper... No, you can't count on the support of the nobles right now. They're busy handling the uprises in their own families after you have been called out by your wife. Patience, overambitous Arqayazn, Patience is the key.
: I hope he doesn't die before....what's that?

: Sir, might I suggest that you -

Oh, its another Dignitary with another good advice. After a short and valuable consultation, the guards on the border have to expect an examination soon.

Click to view content: 

The Dignitary himself has earned a week or some more time at the royal bureau of executive measures, Department Chains&Tools.

...where the power of Authorities is already felt.


Bacon&Eggs reveal their youthful abuse of Opium

At 15?


At the tavern, some now homeless servants chitchat with the soon-to-be-revengers.
German

So Rifat Amir al-Liva had to fight for the authority he just seized. He engaged Abirad the Merciless Procreator.



But alone by himself?



Follow the light.



Hit.



With Rifat taking an eternal nap, the rest of his troops are reminded that there's no place like home.



But the defenders of faith law succeed about the squatters.



At least.

..one time, you can count for yourself.



Back at home, the normal folks tries to adjust to the times.

And the tax situation


At the HQ of Headhunters Inc.

: The head of Rifat Amir al-Liva! I got him. Now it's payday...
: Hm?
: The bounty for Rifat...!
: Nah, he died, therefore he doesn't need to be killed anymore.
: But ay..
: ... are dismissed for today.

Makes sense. Or not.



Meanwhile, Kalif Cakmak is ..

..on the Country roads, headed homeward.

Take me home

Almost heaven, west virgin, ya
Blue ridged mountains
Shen and 'oah river -
Life is old there
Older than the trees
Younger than the mountains
Growin like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virgin, ya, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my memories gathered round her
Miners lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virgin, ya, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice
In the mornin hour she calls me
The crusadio' reminds me of my home far away
And ridin' down the road I get a feelin
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virgin, ya, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virgin, ya, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
Take me home, now country roads
Take me home, now country roads

While leaving the kingdom, Kalif Cakmak is meeted and greeted by Abdullatif Malatyali. A very common name.

: Allahu akbar, i made it out alive....
: Allied Brother, what happened to you? You look turrible.

[Eastern Roman]

cool! nice AAR