AAR-MEN-NIEN

**Pelican Man** · March 31, 2008, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by LlamaD

...i hate him..

That made my day... My boss seen me laughing out loud, so i got in trouble. It was worth it. lol

THE P-MAN

P.S.

KEEP IT COMING!

**LlamaD** · March 31, 2008, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by TheG

Nice AAR

: What is this? Last time i checke, April fools' day was tomorrow, right? What kind of people drops by and mumbles anything incomprehensible before leaving after two seconds?

: Do you really wanna know ? It's TheG!

: The what?

: TheG!

: You're sure thats no typo? It could be ThuG or something...

: Almost sure...

: Can anyone tell me what is wrong with these people!??!?

: He must be deaf. Otherwise i wouldn't have to tell everything more than once!

: No, he has to be dumb /shtum, cause he could not speak...

: If he heard you singing, he would beg to be dumb...

: I'd say he is blind because he can't read how to act....

: Someone has to redeem him from his poor Peasant life... May I ?

: Breaking news! My sources say that this ain't the first time he's done such things.

Click to view content:

: A habitual linestepper then, hum?

: Maybe he's just saying what's true ?

: Nonsense! This peasant does not even own a horse! Much less a stirrup! How could he ever dare?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

: That makes sense.

---------

Originally Posted by Pelican Man

That made my day... My boss seen me laughing out loud, so i got in trouble. It was worth it. lol

THE P-MAN

P.S.

KEEP IT COMING!

: Sometimes i wonder why there are disclaimers ...

: Hey it is very possible that he still has to work! Pension and retirement aren't the same since i was young...

: Ok, but then, how old has to be his boss?

: Given the fact that i was promoted one rank every 10 years....and i am now 90 and a Sergeant Major...

: You silly old pals are both missing the point!
I can't hear anything! That equals nothing said.
Enough of this. Pleaaase.

**LlamaD** · March 31, 2008, 02:28 PM

1199

The foreign merchants in Armenia hardly get a rest.

Ah, thank goodness, the crusade is done, we can go home...these armenian 98% trade taxes are ridiculous! ..What?.. A new Jihad? We have to go back to Armenia?!? We're getting ripped!

Neither do the taxpayers.

Princess Batara has a somewhat difficult decision to make.

: Sure, i would need some Arshmuni. How pervert are these nobles !? Screw yourself, pigeons!

Surprise, Surprise! The Byzanzinos lift the Siege.

The first thought that comes to mind..

...is sadly not for real.

The still Arqayazn is not amused and lets the diplomat know it.

Click to view content:

Apologize

It's too late too apologize

eh eh eh
eh eh eh

I'm hangin on your rope
got me ten feet off the ground

I'm hearin what you say but

I just can't make a sound

You tell me that you need me

-then you go and cut me down

But wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late

eh eh eh

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

eh eh eh
oh yeahhh, ooohh
eh eh eh

I'd take another chance, take a fall,

take a shot for you ooohhh

And I need you like a heart needs a beat

But that's nothing new yaaeeahh

I loved you with a fire red

Now it's turning blue
And you say

Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you

But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

eh eh eh

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

eh eh eh
ooohh
eh eh eh
eh eh eh

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

eh eh eh
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

eh eh eh ooohhh

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

eyyyeeeaaahhh

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

eyyyeeeaaahhh

I'm hangin on your rope
Got me ten feet ooofff the ground

**TheG** · April 01, 2008, 02:44 AM

I bring dire news my liege. Someone has just realized our concept. With this knowledge there is no telling what he can do.

NOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I AM SO TERIFIED! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I say we first torture and then excecute this peasant.

Tread wisely my lord. We might use his knowledge.

You think so?

Yes master.

Ok. You are the old man with a beard and that should mean you know something. I'll spare him. FOR NOW!

Let all Armenians know that the peasant know as the G is granted mercy by our mighty lord.

And thus TheG was spared his life and allowd to remain in Armenian lands for the time beeing.

**Furin** · April 01, 2008, 07:01 AM

Hail to the king baby!

**LlamaD** · April 03, 2008, 10:19 AM

: I am almost tempted to say that's the way i like it. Almost. But not yet.
And so TheG was spared.

Click to view content:

Hail to the king baby!

This joke almost only works in German.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

However, here the english version.

: I'd heal myself, if i could! *stertorous*

**LlamaD** · April 03, 2008, 10:27 AM

1200

The feisty foreign merchants and more importantly, their taxes and tolls escaped through dark channels... bad news for the economy.

But i guess that was not the reason for the Princess/Admiral to start smuggling, too.

Or was it?

Anyway, some have to make up for these unexpected losses.

Deep Glaze, err... World's finest diplomat Gagik strikes once again.

Angry Byzanzinos resiege Famagusta..

..and thank goodness that they can build siege weapons so much faster now. I hate progress.

But wait! A new drawback.

Obviously, Armenia is not the only country that, funnily enough, refuses to be a vassal to Byzanz.

Before the Men at Arms get bored by the lack-tion, we better find an opponent.

The opening speeches from the Arqayazn get better every fight...

Unfortunately, not a whole lot people could report the fight. There was a royal "graphic artist" at the battle, but he was slayed by the Arqayzn, too. A tragic accident.
Pink and purple clothes is out of fashion when in war with Byzanz.

However, it was a not so short moment's work, and all was won.
Every man won a serious wound. Some hit the jackpot and won a place in heaven.

: It felt like..

Last man standing

I am the last man standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who lost control

(Control) But in the end I'd be the
Last Man Standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who sold his soul

(His soul) Forever gone to be the
Last Man Standing

Glorious
Noble in my mind

Everything a fight to win
Taking all and giving
Whatever my pride would let me
Not backing down, not giving in
I wouldn't lose, I couldn't

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who lost control

(Control) But in the end I'd be the
Last Man Standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who sold his soul

(His soul) Forever gone to be the
Last Man Standing

I walk alone

With my head held high
Never felt that I belonged

Stand my ground at all costs

Running through life with blindfolds

Just for the right - right to be wrong

Nothing would rule my world but...

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who lost control

(Control) But in the end I'd be the
Last Man Standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who sold his soul

(His soul) Forever gone to be the
Last Man Standing

Nothing would rule my world but...

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who lost control

(Control) But in the end I'd be the
Last Man Standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who sold his soul

(His soul) Forever gone to be the
Last Man Standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who lost control

(Control) But in the end I'd be the
Last Man Standing

(I) I am the one

(The one) Who sold his soul

(His soul) Forever gone to be the
Last Man Standing

Seeing clearer what I've done
I'd refuse to let things go
I could never once admit I'm wrong

And what do I have to show?

Seeing clearer what's at stake
And the things I have to change

I just hope I can, it's not too late
To get a chance to end this pain

**LlamaD** · April 05, 2008, 06:13 AM

1201

Princess Batara remains the ~~object~~ subject of ~~senseless~~ persistent tries from the nobles to gain access to power.

: A Ghazi? Cheap shot, fools! I'm a Princess!

A blow to Gagik's clean record.

: *cries* Nooooo. Nooooo. I worked so hard getting the worlds biggest alliance together *snief* ...

A quick look at our diplomatic Standings....

..reveals that we are round about allied with every nation that is currently busy crusading the evil frenchman. If that ain't encouraging? Oh, well.. except Vlaanderen.

Cyprus, under trees:

: Man, the Arqayazn really pushes the tempo up. One year ago i had was looking for a nice little mansion at Adana, and then all of a sudden it goes "war war war, hurry up, gogogo"...

: *grin* What, it was no fun for you to march from Adana to Smyrna and back in one month ?

: NO, you damn footsy walking jerk! And especially not when i'm hampered by my leg wound. Why did you only got a flesh wound on the arm?

: Well, in some battles, you just have to know when it's enough.

: You never told that the Arqayazn, didn't you? He slaughtered almost each and everyone out there. Heck, half of our wounds are not from the enemy!

: Stop crying, it won't help. Get over it. Act like a man you never met...like a chivalric knight!

: Bla bla.... so what are we doing here back on Cyprus?

: Actually, something troubles the replenishment of cypress wood. We are here to find out what...

: Cypress wood ? Are you kidding me?

: Do you really think only because Ashot is gone, they stopped needing cypresses for the navy? Arr, come on.

Click to view content:

The Arqayazn found some Byzanzinos. It was not a good idea to hide at one of the most important cypress plantation of Cyprus. We all know that war is always and only for ressources. We know. Do we?

Once again, a rousing speech fine tuned to the point.

: Who taught him these speeches?

: Don't look at me!

: *smirk*

The newly hired mercenaries prepare during the last minutes before the battle....

A closer look:

: I'm depressed! Everything is so green.

: No you're cypressed.

: Shut up, both of you. Your foolish jokes ain't funny!

: Cypressed, ahaha. I got it.

: Oh my gosh. I'm commanding a bunch of dopeys. Why had i to enlist for captain training course? i could be home with Aisha and the kids. *sigh*

Anyways, the byzantine footmen or more precisely, their leader decided too march a long way uphill trough the albeit dilettantish cultivated cypress plantation. Accompanied by the best armenian wishes we could write down on an arrow. Practically none. Not because of the space, but of the widespread illiteracy.

Severel cypresses away...

Some kind of disorders hit the byzantine formations..

Let's take a closer look again:

: All turn left!

: Where's left?

: Where your thumb is right.

: Err....

: Move up, left around the tree.

: LEEEEFT!

: THE OTHER LEFT!$"§%/

: I'm sick of this. I'll ride home.

: I'm tired. Can't someone else carry this heavy banner?

: *unisono* Shut up and move... LEFT!

A minor mistake by the byzantine general. His bodyguards left instead of turning left. Well, i guess that can happen even to the best.

After that, every Byzanzino suddenly remembered they had left the fire on at home..

The refusal of a very gracious offer ...

leads to a massive slaugther.

Click to view content:

: Is it just me or is the Arqayazn pissed off by any Byzanzino nowadays?

: Seems so.

Click to view content:

: And that is goooood.

Not wasting much time, the new pink-hating Arqayazn besieges Limassol. Poor odds, as usual.

Beeing vastly outnumbered, innovative tactics have to be used..

Run to the hills , run for your life! I recommend listening before continuing ~~watching~~ reading.

Onstorming byzantine masses.

A welltimed two-angle attack from the armenian cavalry and the arqayazn slaugthers the garrison's captain quickly.

The following rout quickly leads to an end of the desperation sally of the besieged troops.

Feeled 5 seconds later:

: *hasty* More-Cruel-then-ever Arqayazn, the turks refuse to pay our road taxes anymore!

: What the..

: They besiege one of our taxation station! That means WAR again. Just in case...someone wond.... I'm gone! *hasty ~~left~~ leaving*

: *grim* Everyone get ready! We're marchin in 5 minutes! Hurry up, we must repel them!

One brutally forced march later:

A cleaned look into the valley of death.

After a short and intense focus of fire, the enemy Captain lies dead on the ground.

Victory!

Of course, the losses from the road tax have to be replaced somehow.

During ransom counting:

: Clearer-shouting Arqayazn, a new siege occoured near Adana.

: We cannot tolerate this ongoing refusal of paying road taxes. Alright then, prepare to march, men!

*malcontent voices*

: I'm too old for these forced marches.

: I can't ride anymore. My butt is blistered!

: I've got two problems : I'm tired and hungry.

: And my horse is about to die of exhaustion!

: Make that one problem...

: What do you want with that knife ... ?

: Someone else has to handle that. Shall i transport orders?

: *grim* Yea, alert all available forces in the area, they have to drive the seldjuks out immediatly, and hurry up!

: Ok i'm already riding...hey! where is my horse !?!

: Want a morsel?

: delicious! *smack*

: Back in the days, we had some excellent arab horses..

: Yea but they had a strange aftertaste..

: Disgusting..

: These people need a foodtaster for sure.

So, someone else has to handle that...problem.
Captain Drastamad [ speak Dras, tha Mad ] does.

Battle is so fast, sometimes you need to take a seat. Even a stool is good, sometimes.

And the victory-drunken soldiers declare their Captain is now a General.

: Arrgh, an Assatourian. They finally got one in.

**LlamaD** · April 09, 2008, 02:09 PM

1202

Armenia struggles. Officially.

At least, Ghazig made it to 16 years of age. For now, the succession to the throne seems secured. Arqa Rouben can breathe easier now.

A new building is finished. And a very welcomed one. After a hard days fight, the people finally got a place to rest and enjoy.

And be sure they will.

A dangerous sighting.

Byzanzinos lurking around near Abydus! And what does this merchant from the seldjuks there?
We need to catch 'em before they spend their money buying stuff from this shabby dealer. Cause they haven't paid their road tolls yet!

: My sources say he might talk about a Fatima special happy hour offer.

The local public servants are alarmed and gathered.

: What are you doing here, bishop?

: Um..err. I suppose, the same as you, manly princess...

: *eek*Yeah uhm......everyone needs a second job nowadays, right?

: Er...Right. And some need a third.

This byzantine ~~sales promotion tour~~ excursion ends rather quickly.

More Byzanzinos in our Lands! They're besieging Smyrna straight away. The Towns garrison won't hold it alone... We need Reinforcements!

Thank God Arqayazn Arsen comes along. Now we can sally out of a town that has no walls, but lots of nice stone buildings. Corruption seems to be really really high!

The mayor motivates his ~~troops~~ peasants.

Why is this guy wearing byzantine colors? Corruption can't be THAT high..... or what?

An intense fight breaks out in the streets of Smyrna. Arqayazn Arsen apparently takes his time...

After approximately 3 days of fighting, the cavalry finally arrives.

The surviving fighters are mustered and get some praise at the town square.

The battle is won, but Captain & Mayor Garbis died...

preventing another man of hour or just punishing a traitor ?

Adopttry the ninth.

: ...Gomidas Aue.. how to spell? Aü? argh...cut your hair, ladybird! Declined!

: And why am i stripped of my "yazn"? What's goin' on?

: Promoting news, anti-authoritarian Arqa!

Tough brezze

: All we are is Dust in the Wind

Dust in the wind

I close my eyes

only for a moment and the moment's gone

all my dreams

pass before my eyes in curiosity

dust in the wind
all we are is dust in the wind

Same old song

just a drop of water in an endless sea

all we do

crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see

dust in the wind
all we are is dust in the wind.... ohh

Now don't hang on

nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

it slips away

and all your money won't another minute buy

dust in the wind
all we are is dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind
dust in the wind (everything is dust in the wind)
everything is dust in the wind ... the wind

: *silence* ... Well, it was about time, i'd say. Now where's my crown? In your bag? Give it to me.

: The crown is in Adana, if you want it, go home there... No way they give it to me even for transport. By the way, "They" refers to Drastamad Assatourian who is currently at the Castle.

: And you shall be relieable? Pah! Everything has to be done by myself.. *grumbles*

Minutes later:

: I knew there's only trouble with these noble Asses! Damn it! MARCH, MEN! Forced march, here we come again.

A (This heavy overuse of "A" is infecting) disturbing event.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

What happened between Princess Batara and Isaakios Komnenos ?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

**LlamaD** · April 12, 2008, 04:15 PM

1203

Abydus is besieged! Apparently, the Byzanzinos seek revenge for the interruption of their business negotiations.
So the local tax office chief steps out and handles the situation.

The poor intruders are charged ~~for road- and weapon-usage tax~~, basically for money and secondary, for life.

Their leader stumbles at last.

Only seven men escape the authorities.

The rest is taxed to death.

Meanwhile, on the hasty march to adana:
Traffic jam, caused by the Seldjuks.

: I have no time to waste and they mess with the road? Alright then, NO MATTER HOW THEY BEG, LET NONE ESCAPE!

I think they try to destroy our sources of income before our armies. This is TOTAL WAR!

Bloody business....

Of course, some begged somehow good enough...

Nevertheless, the particular tax stations can continue to work...for now.

A lot is going on in the world...

...but the most urgent thing is this siege of Attalia, where the young Arqayazn Ghazig studies the books in order to become a better governor. Or tries to.

Well, at least concerning the religious issues, he is still behind.

Nevertheless, you can tell that he is the son of his father.

Note: Green marks the direction of mekka. So this Captain Abidin is not a very good Muslim.

That earns himself a veteran warrior. Good to have someone bringing the youth back to earth with spicy arrogance. Not that this young fella starts thinking, he is the next Tigranes...

The Arqa~~yazn~~... , err.. Arsen hurries to Adana. Word spread out that Drastamad Assatourian tries to gather the plebs, nobles and regional titles to support him against the Arqa. There's a smell of civil war in the air.

The Arqa grabs the crown quickly, but the damage is already done.

At Sis:

: Muaharhar..I'm gonna be Arqa instead of the Arqa soon.. Now all i have to do is to seize the stocks of cypress..and then all the power will be mine...Call me "Baum"...muharhar.... Yes, i'm gonna be ... Alt wie ein Baum

1. Eastgerman Song

Alt wie ein Baum

Alt wie ein Baum moechte ich werden,
Genau wie der Dichter es beschreibt.
Alt wie ein Baum mit einer

die weit, weit, weit, weit
Die weit ueber Felder zeigt.

Alt wie ein Baum moechte ich werden
Mit Wurzeln, die nie ein Sturm bezwingt.
Alt wie Baum, der alle Jahre so weit, weit, weit, weit
Kindern nur Schatten bringt.

Alle meine Traeume - yeah - fang ich damit ein
- yeah - alle meine Traeume - yeahyeah -
Zwischen Himmel und Erde zu sein
Zwischen Himmel und Erde zu sein.

Alt wie ein Baum moechte ich werden,
Genau wie der Dichter es beschreibt.
Alt wie ein Baum mit einer Krone die weit, weit, weit, weit
Die weit ueber Felder zeigt.

Click to view content:

Alle meine Traeume - yeah - fang ich damit ein
- yeah - alle meine Traeume - yeahyeah -
Zwischen Himmel und Erde zu sein
Zwischen Himmel und Erde zu sein.

: What's that noise out there? *looks out the window* DAMN...what does Arsen want? That screws my plans..right now.

: Drastamad,~~new son~~ old friend...come, let's talk and take a ride...

: Ok...DAD. [...]

: I heard you did well in battle... SON... now, there are some Turks near our border... show me what you got... You start the fight ..I'll ..err.. direct the troops.

The Arqa makes absolutely clear what he wants.

After these speeches i'm not so sure which is the mad one.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

We won, but with a high price. A tragic death. Armenia lost one of it's most potential Leader. Everyone feels the sorrow.

After 1 ~~seconds~~ moments of silence:

Arqa Arsen speaks to his men with the knife in his hand.

For Those that Trespass against us

Tell me my life is about to begin
Tell me that I am a hero,
Promise me all of your violent dreams
Light up your body with anger.
Now, in this ugly world
it is time to destroy all this evil.
Now, when I give the word
get ready to fight for your freedom
Now -

Stand up and fight, for you know we are right
We must strike at the lies
That have spread like disease through our minds.
Soon we'll have power, every soldier will rest
And we'll spread out our kindness
To all who our love now deserve.
Some of you are going to die -
Martyrs of course to the freedom that I shall provide.

I'll give you the names of those you must kill,
All must die with their children.
Carry their heads to the palace of old,
Hang them high, let the blood flow.
Now, in this ugly world
break all the chains around us,
Now, the crusade has begun
give us a land fit for heroes,
Now -

Stand up and fight, for you know we are right
We must strike at the lies
That have spread like disease through our minds.
Soon we'll have power, every soldier will rest
And we'll spread out our kindness
To all who our love now deserve.
Some of you are going to die -
Martyrs of course to the freedom that I shall provide.

We are only wanting freedom
We are only wanting freedom
We are only wanting freedom
We are only wanting freedom ("Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom...")
We are only wanting freedom ("Things are getting out of control here today")
We are only wanting freedom ("OK men - fire over their heads!")
We are only wanting freedom

--- WE HAVE WON ---

Some of you are going to die,
Martyrs of course to the freedom that I shall provide.

With this problem Drastically solved, the Arqa seeks to drive the Seldjuks completly out of Cilicia.

And he does.

Man, the Arqa has really become a Tyrant on the field.

Maybe that's why he wasted no time at all and laid siege to Caesarea immediately.

A real Butcher's work.

For now, the fight's done. Time for some relaxation.
But, considering the recent decline of participation, there is one misgiving ...

: An egyptian General in our Lands? Better keep an eye from Bedros on him...

Click to view content:

**Nevada** · April 14, 2008, 02:11 PM

great stuff, really detailed!
i like reading such things, but i'd get crazy when i'd have to write those on my own....

**ivanhoex** · April 14, 2008, 02:18 PM

Oh man! you are killing me!

am i really? arent you just moking me... are you?

cant you tell?

**LlamaD** · April 15, 2008, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Nevada

great stuff, really detailed!
i like reading such things, but i'd get crazy when i'd have to write those on my own....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

: What was that? *sniff* Did someone said something?
[...]
[..]

[.]

: Ah, nothing *sigh*. Not even some popinjays...

-----------

Originally Posted by ivanhoex

Oh man! you are killing me!

am i really? arent you just moking me... are you?

cant you tell?

Hey, what do you think?

Geez, you are a skeleton, a Dead man walking, err talking!

I am not dead! I have bones and skin!

2 Lips as skin?! Try too fool someone else, dog food!

No reason to get rough.. everyone has his flaws...

Yeah, yeah, enough of this... go back downstairs into the cellar..

For now, but we will talk again!

Maybe I should really have listened when the preowner talked about the lodgers.

That's exactly what i needed...skeletons in the closet.

[That] Dude is so mean...

**LlamaD** · April 15, 2008, 03:53 PM

1204

Drastamad's death wasn't unnoticed in the kingdom. Some people cheered. A few cried silently. Most people realised the danger of angering the Arqa and shut their rants and opposition against him down. The nobles were seething with rage, but couldn't do anything right away. Only a single person dared to express her feelings.

1. German Song

Mein Freund der Baum

ist tot

Ich wollt dich längst schon wiedersehn,
mein alter Freund aus Kindertagen,
ich hatte manches dir zu sagen,
und wusste, du wirst mich verstehen.
Als kleines Mädchen kam ich schon
zu dir mit all den Kindersorgen.
Ich fühlte mich bei dir geborgen,
und aller Kummer flog davon.
Hab ich in deinem Arm geweint,
strichst du mit deinen grünen Blättern
mir übers Haar, mein alter Freund.

Mit Gras hatt Drastamad auch noch gedealt !? tsts...

Mein Freund der Baum ist tot,
er fiel im frühen Morgenrot.

Du fielst heut früh, ich kam zu spät,
du wirst dich nie im Wind mehr wiegen,
du musst gefällt am Wege liegen,
und mancher, der vorüber geht,
der achtet nicht den Rest von Leben
und reißt an Deinen grünen Zweigen,
die sterbend sich zur Erde neigen.
Wer wird mir nun die Ruhe geben,
die ich in Deinem Schatten fand?
Mein bester Freund ist mir verloren,
der mit der Kindheit mich verband.

Mein Freund der Baum ist tot,
er fiel im frühen Morgenrot.

Bald wächst ein Haus aus Glas und Stein,
dort wo man ihn hat abgeschlagen,
bald werden graue Mauern ragen,
dort wo er liegt im Sonnenschein.

Click to view content:

Vielleicht wird es ein Wunder geben,
ich werde heimlich darauf warten,
vielleicht blüht vor dem Haus ein Garten,
und er erwacht zu neuem Leben.
Doch ist er dann noch schwach und klein,
und wenn auch viele Jahre gehen,
er wird nie mehr derselbe sein.

Mein Freund der Baum ist tot,
er fiel im frühen Morgenrot.

: Shht, be quiet. There are spies everywhere... If someone hears that you're in deep a...in really deep trouble!

JA4:Broken Alliances ...

...make Gagik desperate.

: *crying* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. *echo*

The council of nobles plays the devotional card.

In related news, not one, but 2 noble's sons are pushing for adoption.

: Ashot? No, really, the one we had was terrible enough... and you...oh fine,...somebody listened...and cut ya hair...but you're still Arshmuni. No need for catamites! Declined!

: And while we're at it, what the hell do you mean with "Queues are stalled" ?

: Apparently, tyrannish Arqa, your father lost some money over his last years.... not that your ongoing campaigns would cost two thirds of the whole state budget...nooo...

: But, money-hungry Arqa, we can always go back to the taxes if we need more coins.

: So do it! Now leave me be, there are some Seldjuks left..

The Arqayazn has similar problems on his doorstep.

I'll ride ahead and make 'em speak to the hand.

The enemy responds..

Stay together, he pulls out a hand!

...though the outcome

stays the same.

That give's a whole new meaning to the term "handsome".

Bent on this glorious success, young Arqayazn Ghazig rallies to another besieged fortification in his district. He might already have learned some things neccessary to govern a region.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

The Tyrant, on the other hand, had to rely on more common tactics to win his fights..

At least, he had no different result.

Business as usual.

Unfortunately for the common people, the taxation went back to usual, too.

: I think i'm starting to get a clue why the Byzanzinos are at war with us...

Click to view content:

And for some crummy reason, the ~~wealthy rebels~~ local pirates decided not to anchor in safer regions during a heavy thunderstorm.

Pirate Captain: Arrgh, we're screwed.
Pirate: Whats really bad is that my cousin told me stories about such things and i always laughed him off. Now i know better..
Pirate Captain: Forget about your cousin! Get us out of this mess!

**Darkan** · April 16, 2008, 01:39 PM

*An unknown man stumbles upon the lands of the Arqa, but seeing the tax collectors, decides to leave! no one knows who he was or what he wanted, but on a piece of paper was written "Nice AAR" *

**LlamaD** · April 20, 2008, 02:12 PM

1205

*An unknown man stumbles upon the lands of the Arqa, but seeing the tax collectors, decides to leave! no one knows who he was or what he wanted, but on a piece of paper was written "Nice AAR" *

: There are still too many wanderers and tax refugees in our lands. Something has to be done.

And so with or without order from Arqa Arsen the Tyrant, several Watchtowers and border patrols are installed.

Double-dip.

: Oh yeah, the Aznavorians... nice voices.....but it's not your time yet. Declined!
And Arshmuni again? Stop this penetrating attempts!

Another Alliance breaks.

One too many for Gagik to look away.

: I tried so hard

In the end, it doesn't even matter

It starts with one thing

I don´t know why

It doesn´t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time

All I know
The time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

(It´s so unreal)

Didn´t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on
but didn´t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart

What it meant to me
will eventually
be a memory
of a time when

I tried so hard
and got so far
in the end
it doesn't even matter

I had to fall
to lose it all
in the end
it doesn't even matter

One thing
I don´t know why

It doesn´t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme
to remind myself how

I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I´m surprised
It got so (far)

Things aren´t the way the were before

You wouldn´t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried

It all fell apart

what it meant to me
will eventually
be a memory
of a time when

I tried so hard
and got so far
in the end
it doesn't even matter

I had to fall
to lose it all
in the end
it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you (Arqa!)
pushed as far as I can go
and for all this
there's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard
and got so far
in the end
it doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all

in the end
it doesn't even matter

Some Seldjuk peasants linger around the newly aquired castle of Caesarea.
The Arqa seeks to scatter 'em.

With insightful descriptions of the opponent...

..everything goes a little bit ... more easy.
For example, overrunning these peasants.

What would a Tyrant do with prisoners? Exactly.

Meanwhile, in the ~~Land of the Hand~~ Valley of Death, just before the station of Taxing to Death, the neighbouring Seldjuks ~~repeat as highwayman-besieger~~ lay siege to us again.
Thus, the really chivalrous - which means, he now wears gloves - Arqayazn leaves Attalia once again and engages the Wrongful...

With the road as the line of demarcation and almost equal forces ...

...each party decides to withdraw peacefully, go home and commit adultery.

[.]
[..]
[...]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Cakmak Hemedani arrives at one of the southern hill tax departments. In fact, these stations nowadays do not only collect taxes, but act as local public authorities.

He had to wait in the line a bit, but finally he gets his number called.

: What do you want?

: Le'mme pass!

: Where 'ya from?

: I'm from royal blood..

: I'm not asking the blood group, i am asking for your nationality!

: Ayyubid! Egypt! The great..

: *interrupts* Gotta traveling permission papers?

: What? Hell no!

: Without permission, none shall pass.

: I'mma noble! How cann'ya refuse to le'mme pass!?!

: Work-to-rule.

: *arrrgh* How do i get one ?

: We need certification of your employment so you can get permission to travel further.

: Certification? ME? Ok, here's my privy seal..

Click to view content:

: That'll do if it is authentic, unfortunately, that's none of our business. Station 52, northern Cilicia, handles that authentic seals check. Come back when you got your papers.

: *grrr*

: Oh, and you owe us a fee of 49 florin plus value added tax... a total of 86 florins, payable immediately without delay.

: GRRRR.*pays*

: Thanks for your visit of our wonderful country. Seeya!

: *grim* I 'd rather not! *leaves*

**LlamaD** · April 25, 2008, 05:23 AM

1206

Will it ever stop?

: Gnaaa, i don't need no chicken.... Gag, gag....

Supposedly, the ~~once rejected~~ superhot Princess Batara feared to be left on the shelf and forced the issue a little bit.

2.German Song

: Hey, ich hab mich so

auf dich gefreut!

Du warst wie die Sonne
Und ich war wie der Mond
Das klingt zwar ziemlich dämlich
Aber es trifft die Sache schon
Wir hatten beide das Gefühl
Als kennen wir uns ne Ewigkeit
Darin haben wir uns dann verloren
Und finden kostet halt Zeit

Bitte geh nicht weg
Bitte geht nie wieder, wieder weg

&

Hey, ich hab mich so auf dich gefreut
Ein ganzes Leben lang
Hab ich von sowas nur geträumt
Hey, ich hab mich so auf dich gefreut
Mein Leben fliegt mir um die Ohren
Ich kann's nicht ändern, tut mir Leid!

Als wir uns dann trafen
Eigentlich war's schon viel zu spät
Es passte nichts zusammen
Außer wie wir uns verstehen
Wir trauten kaum uns anzusehen
Jeder Blick war schon zu viel
Es kann nicht sein, was nicht sein darf
Und dabei war'n wir nur am Ziel

Bitte geh nicht weg
Bitte geh nie wieder, wieder weg

&

Hey, ich hab mich so auf dich gefreut
Ein ganzes Leben lang
Hab ich von sowas nur geträumt
Hey, ich hab mich so auf dich gefreut
Mein Leben fliegt mir um die Ohren
Ich kann's nicht ändern, tut mir Leid!

Wir ließen es geschehen
Wir haben uns getarnt
Und hatten immer das Gefühl
Dass jemand anders für uns plant
Der Kopf schreit immer wieder "Nein"
Der Bauch hört gar nicht hin
Was zum Teufel soll ich tun
Es hat doch keinen Sinn

&

Hey, ich hab mich so auf dich gefreut
Ein ganzes Leben lang
Hab ich von sowas nur geträumt
Hey, ich hab mich so auf dich gefreut
Mein Leben fliegt mir um die Ohren
Ich kann's nicht ändern, tut mir Leid!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Yasin Tatar ... Nice mustache, anyways.

And since he thought he was pretty much alone in the castle at that time, why not capture it right away as a nice little wedding present? Thought and laid siege.

Well, thinking ain't his strength. Maybe commanding soldiers is?

There was nothing wrong with that skill.

And six month later, his first child, Goriun Astagian was born. *Cuckoochooo* Alright, i got it.

: *whistle*

: *pleased* Hey, look at the ratings..the ratings..not the child,..THE RATINGS!

: What's a rating?

And a suitable Prince is ready for sacrificing himself to the other sister of ~~good~~ mean ol' Arqa Arsen.

: Gabi...this name fits...wait, do i know this face ...?

On the other side of the empire, Byzanz still got some problems with accepting tax liabilities.

Heck, they might be after our money! Like a bone charging his dog

These fighting administrators are tough breed...

..but of course, when you don't get any ransom, you can't be promoted!

Switching back to the east, the turks have cruel men, and their diplomats aren't better from an aesthetic point of view.

: Laughable.. this vassal thing has grown a beard.. almost as big as yours... piss off!

: Interesting...disguise...and name. I think they feel trouble.. just look at this:

Even the pirates in their lands seem to need every coin to survive

Yasin ~~"Mindless~~ Quick Decision" Tatar rushes to another siege thanks to Dzaghig's nautic skills. Timing is everything...

An the not-so-quick outcome.

A draw? Where do they learn such things?

Summary:

**Xtiaan72** · April 25, 2008, 05:00 PM

A starving begger enters your kingdom...... "HEY YOU.....ARMENIAN TYRANT.....ME, Skirailga..Deposed Pagan......Stop wacking moles and help me FIGHT POLES!!!!.....AND BREAD, I DEMAND YOUR BREAD".....please....

**LlamaD** · April 27, 2008, 01:19 PM

1207

A starving begger enters the kingdom......

: "HEY YOU.....ARMENIAN TYRANT.....ME, Skirailga..Deposed Pagan......Stop wacking moles and help me FIGHT POLES!!!!.....AND BREAD, I DEMAND YOUR BREAD".....please....

: Hum? what's this ? Beggars talking to me ? Do i look like a welfare Tyrant? Or even like a bakerman? Hell, does my kingdom look like a home for aged and deposed people?

: Alarm, puzzled looking Arqa! Look at him! He has the plague!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

: I'm from Sis, you know.....i've seen everything.. Wait, am i talking to an owl?

: Christ Sake! Get the birds outta here! .. Speaking of which... Listen, Sky railing aga..or whatever you're named... i don't care about the poles, but we are allied with the Novgorodians and not with your p-p-p country!

Click to view content:

: Oh and your bread, plagued Peasant.... *throws a stone-hard loaf of bread after him* *clonk* "har har"

: Aaaauuuu *ouch* *creeps away*

: Mylord, what have you done? Don't you know that whoever takes bread from you, can seize your soul?! The older the bread, the....

: What's this crap about....arrgh, forget it, i don't even wanna know...back to work, everyone!

Casually, the applicants...

: Gagik? Does noone ever dies really in these lands? Arrrgh..
And for the adoption, do you know what? Wait here for a ~~decade~~ second and Ai-bi-raid back here.

The blitz-thinking Yasin Tatar left Trebizond to not get Sinope last year. With no time to leave even the smallest garrison.
Good work, Yasin, good work.

But, a great commander never let's any setback get in his way.

Sacking and looting, that he can do pretty pretty good.

Another crusade is called against France...this time it's Narbonne. Christendom united we fight ourselves!

But at least in our lands, people can take a deep breath...today.

Taking a look at the current military leader situation...

... we realize that we are still very short on 'em. Fast thinkers and Drillmasters are good to push armies over the lands, but it ain't enough to hold off both enemy nations.
Only question is, who is going to clarify that to the Tyrant?

Somewhere in the hills.

A small camp, formerly used as outpost, now occupied by a group of strange ~~girly~~ men in white robes.

: We've been waiting five years for Atreh...Atrehn...the old bishop! Why can't we go out and leave this godless encampment!?!

: He will come back...hopefully...

: You need a little bit more faith! I know for sure he will return.

: That or i might do some unchristian things to the guards and break this imprisonment..*hick*

: Sin! Don't you all feel that this seclusion guides one closer to god!?

: Aah, come on! All it does is getting me closer to alcoholic dementia.*burp*

: I agree, since you occupied the communion wine stocks...

: Turrible, turrible..

: Hey, lookout! Someone's coming! There's dust over de!

Atrnerseh arrives.

: Ah, the pious alcolytes. God be with you, brothers.

: *mumbles* He and some women, yeah.. that'll do it..

: I knew it! Praise the lord, fellas!

: Thank godness for your return, great A...greater Bishop!

: How was your travel, brother Art... at piety?

: Long and dusty, but save in the Father's hands. I've brought the priest diplomas along. God guided me through all mundane difficulties. You couldn't imagine what i had to do just to pay the diplom-bills......
Oh, and i've got a name for us. Since everyone's last name starts with "A", we will be known furthermore as the A-team.

Click to view content:

: Sounds great. I think we should have a slogan aswell..

" If you have a problem, if none else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire, the A-team."

: Why not... maybe you won't ever leave your abandoned merchant apprenticeship behind you, brother....but i pray for you, too.
For now, pack your things, Priests!

: Allah akbar...err.. *loud* Halleluja! Halleluja!

: Cheers!*belch*

:[..]

: Maybe some of us need another examination. Five years are a long time.... one might forget a thing or two about piety and stuff.

: Execpt for you, Esayi. You are so pious and holy, your stigma bleeds once a month..

: Oh, no, that ..isn't necessary. Just take these documents and then go to your destined places, horses are available at the gate. .. and fast 40 days ... and then we meet here again...hey, where is everyone ?

*dustcloud*

: I've said these clothes would be useful one time. Har!

: Yeah, but whe have you all painted your face with black color?

: I really don't want to risk getting recognized at all.

: Its not really painte..err...uh....faster!

: God forbid if we ever have preach to the women of the town we're riding to.....How is my hair?