AAR-MEN-NIEN

[LlamaD]

1251

Abirad the Merciless was able to recover in spite off by witnessing his latest son coming of age.

It's only a T difference, but below the belt...


The Kingdom of Jerusalem, currently exiled in Tyrus and Aleppo is getting ganged up on.


Due to the dangers of the flu in spring, people try a lot of preventional stuff.
German

Geuregh the Merciful Mauler can not stop to work his magic. It's pretty hard when the Seldjuks keep on coming sacrificing, rumours of catapults nonwithstanding.



Glory, Death and a Catapult....the newest recipe for Mercy?



After quickly gaining the high ground, Geuregh has Derya G. where he wants him: in an uphill battle with time working against the Seldjuk. General Germiyanoglu attacks Geuregh directly in an desperate attempt to gain the battle's momentum.

Armenian Mountaineers prevent him from dealing real damage.


Derya's eye must have caught the catapults. Abandoning the fight, he tries to reach 'em at all costs.

But can he win a race with the Oddster?


Finally catched, Derya Germiyanoglu goes down. His soldiers should follow suit, will 'ya?



They cannot possibly fight any longer when they realise that the Geuregh's troops defy the laws of gravity!


Or getting absolutely torched by the rain of fire and boulders, for that matter.


And so they turn and abandon the fight.



Geuregh gets another chance to be Merciful...



..and takes it.

So much for the battle report.


Kutais, at another Merciless's Residence:

: Salem aleikum, mighty Sultan!
: Ah, my brave soldier...Tell me, how did Germiyanoglu fare?
: Well, Merciless Sultan....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

..before the sun set, the ugly Armenians fled to a hilltop and refused to fight like honest man!



After arriving there, these arseborn Dogs thought it would be a good idea to taunt our disciplined advancing troops.


But General Germiyanoglu kept his cool and advanced in formation, raising the morale of our glorious Soldiers!


The armenian General Coward tried to avoid a honest battle at all costs and ordered arrowfire.


We advanced unrattled and strong....


...facing the dogs without fear..


..while they continued to harrass us with fire from above..


Their hideous Commander already started to cheer after our first losses as if he had won.


That only ignited more fury and determination amongst our brave soldiers.


General Germiyanoglu gave the signal and we charged, ignoring their missing <ha> arrows.


We could almost smell the fear of those armenian cowards...


..they would NOT stand!


But then we saw it.


Catapults! Those swines!


With the courage of true heroes, our swordmen clashed into their beggars with spears.


And our General threw himself into the front, too.


Your sacred flag advanced with him, a sure sign of victory!


But then an unfortunate footmen got tangled up in the first line while carrying the unit's banner..


Trusty General Germiyanoglu must have missed that.


The battle was in full effect.


Surprisingly, their did not turn tail at first hew.


Alot of brave soldiers ceased their ticket to paradise this day.


Our Flag fell...


..and so did unlucky General Germiyanoglu.


In the End, we could not get through.


It was a noble fight...only some rotten Peasants preferred to run away and even attacked me when i tried to stop them!

So, a true Hero gave his life to defend our sacred lands from armenian hypocrisy and bureaucracy. He shall not be forgotten!


This was a (sneak) peak how the battle would've been in DLV 6.2. [and Cin-ed] Credits for the Pics goes to Blackleaf-Willie.

: By Allah! A true hero....and a true idiot for wasting my troops!
: Pardon?
: If this continues i might never get to see my plan fulfilled..
: The plan, oh Merciless Sultan?
: *laughing* Ah, you heard the rumours, too? Yes, yes it is.

Click to view content: 

: But for now, get out of that ugly loot-suit and redress as your rank fits. You can leave then.
: Thank thee, ambitious Sultan.

[Pengo]

(Song: I'm a lumberjack)

I'm a peasant thats for sure
I eat nothing but cabbages, my life is a bore

But wait whats wrong, my shirts too clean?
Sitting inside on my laptop reading this AAR I've been

As Starcraft was to Koreas youth so this AAR was to Armenia's peasants.

Peasants with laptops! Geez I've only got an old PII Abacus with 56k dialup-pidgeon and I'm royalty! I will not lose my kindom to lazy laptop wielding peasants, ban this AAR immediately!

Perhaps if I may recommend a better course? Take this +rep, it will calm your merciless ways and allow you to see that peasants can use the power of the internet for good, such as selling cabbages online to the English.

*Gulps down the +rep* Hmmmm, hey this is good. Cabbages to Spain aye? Does this mean I can buy goods from far away places for cheaper prices?

And so this was how the Armenian royaly was able to cheaply import English turnips, Danish tulips and Greek watermellons, by waiting until there was ten seconds to go and placing a last minute bid on p-bay.

[LlamaD]

: Alright then.

Click to view content: 

it is scheduled to end when
- the riddle is solved
OR
- Armenia is defeated
OR
- Armenia is the only left Power in the world (quite unlikely)
OR
- Armenia is victorious and empty of ideas
OR
- i, the biographer collapse.
Expect anything of these to happen before 2010. *sigh*

: Let's review. The riddle was, in fact, not solved. He himself said so.
Was Armenia defeated? - Eventually. Listen, nobody goes undefeated. HE MADE SURE OF IT.
Were they the only Power left in the World? - No, but the Power left the World with them.
Were they victorious? - One decapitated Seljuk says so. Could be lying, though...
Were they empty of ideas? - Fortunately, Pandora's box ain't empty.

Click to view content: 

Did i collapse? - Plenty of times, plenty i ...think.
What happen? - Someone set up us.....that's none of your damn business!


So it did happen as written, thereby avoiding the legal- and supportership'ic troubles that big prophets often face, just recently my highly regarded colleague Michel de No.

Nevertheless, Arsen needed me to relay his message. While preparing to do so, I hurt myself today .

I hurt myself today

to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the riddle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

And in true fashion, i left the cursed place afterwards, with no regard for human lives. Or livers, for that matter. *hicks*

: And that was...

...typical
: And now, stop reading, you got ..do!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Yes, YOU, too!

[Arto]

This thread is still alive?

Also:

[Shadrach]

Thank You for the excellent and fun times I had reading this AAR Mr. Llama, it was a joy to read.

It had to end some time I guess and the last post was a great idea, LOVE those Hårek toons

[Juvenal]

Great to see you back LlamaD, I look forward to a happy year of cryptanalysis.