THIS is where we fight! The Brave Hundred. An Illyrian Comic

[Ferrus]

Having seen the thread by Fallen Angel Ezekiel, I thought to myself with some amusement, "those romans are just way too overpowered" and wondered what would happen if the roles were reversed... heavily =p

This is the tale of the Brave Hundred who decided to defy all odds and show the world that the Romans too can be beaten like naked barbarian curs armed with paper mache armour and soft fluffy swords (there was no stat change to them..only to the heroes of this tale)

General Demokedes

"Where the hell is this dump?"

Generic Bodyguard 1

"I believe this is Illyria my lord"

General Demokedes

"Really? Damn got to stop drinking so hard"

Generic Bodyguard 1

".....we just got back here this morning my lord. You know, urgent return and all that because some Roman armies are heading this way. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEAD US TO THIS VILLAGE TELLING US TO MAKE OUR STAND HERE!"

General Demokedes

"Really? I cant seem to recall the last few hours... What the hell are those guys doing over there? Exercising?"



Generic Bodyguard 1

"They are waiting for your prebattle speech so that they can start drinking and the author can push the 'Start Battle' button"

General Demokedes

"Ohhhh right, right. Hold on a second while I dry retch........ Anyways, Alright lads, today we are going to have a fight. The enemy is a measly four thousand Romans which was hardly worth getting out of bed this morning, don't even know why they need us here.."

*STUNNED SILENCE*

Generic Bodyguard 1

"Errr general, you DO know how many four thousand warriors are dont you?"

General Demokedes

"Of course I do! Four thousand enemies are as many as the four thousand fingers of my left hand".

Generic Bodyguard 1

"..........we are soooo screwed...."

Meanwhile the size of the enemy army approaching our supposed heroes..


General Demokedes

"Anyways, we brave hundred.."

Generic Bodyguard 2

"101"

General Demokedes

"ALRIGHT WHO INTERRUPTED ME WHILE I WAS ON A ROLL!"

*Generic Bodyguard 2 raises hand and Demokedes waltzes over"

General Demokedes

"You want a piece of me punk? It is bad enough that this village is deserted of women and our adventure is now officially a sausage fest, but you just had to point out there might be one more extra warrior?"

Generic Bodyguard 2

"But sir including yourself and our full unit of a hundred, that would make it one hundred and one"

General Demokedes

"Not if I shove my sword in your face! Thats it, you and seven unlucky others have just volunteered to deal with the enemy on the left. The rest, follow me!"


Generic bodyguards argument: "Thanks alot jackass", "Smooth move :wub:", "If I die, I am hurling my sword into the back of your head with the last of my strength!"


The approach of the Romans on the left flank.

Generic Bodyguard 2

"Please tell me the general was joking when he said the eight of us..."




"Nope, he wasnt joking..."

General Demokedes

"Hmmm, how nice of the enemy to roll out the red carpet for me"



General Demokedes

"Damn, we are getting pushed back! (as pushed back as you can get in these circumstances) Time to get Biblical on their asses. Parting the red sea time!"


Generic Bodyguard 2

"Sir, we are running low on enemies on the left! And you seem to have an easy time on the right..."


General Demokedes

"Damnit! Youre still alive? Noooo the enemy is running away!"


General Demokedes

"Well then, lets take the fight to the chicken ***** enemy on the right! Dirty Roman cowards!"


"Victory is in our grasp boys! COWER IN FEAR YOU FILTHY ROMANS WHO BATHE ONCE OR TWICE A DAY! FEAR MEEEE! MUAHAHAhaha"

"THIS IS ILLYRIA!!!"

General Demokedes

"Ahhh yes, a job well done boys. See I told you four thousand romans would be easy"

Generic Bodyguard 1

"You didnt even know how to count.... I mean, what are we going to do with all these eagle standards?"


General Demokedes

"Hmmm, I always wanted a golden dining table... lets melt it all down!"

And thus our heroes lived richly and happily ever after. But most importantly, they were rich!

THE END

And that ladies and gentlemen is a truly herculean feat worthy of the illiad and other random whatnots.

SO TAKE THAT YOU DIRTY ROMANS!

Just would like to mention that this was all done in fun and the bodyguards were modified for this game. If you download my submod, please dont ***** to me why they couldnt pull off the same feat....

[Hurlbut]

Just would like to mention that this was all done in fun and the bodyguards were modified for this game. If you download my submod, please dont ***** to me why they couldnt pull off the same feat....

I was about to ask about how in the Hades they beat a legion silly all by themselves until you point out they were specifically modified

[HansDuet]

Nicely done! Little modified, perhaps...

[Kara Kolyo]

Great commic "book" Ferrus! I needed this kind of distraction from my GDI campaign in C&C +rep

[Fallen Angel Ezekiel]

LOL that was great! Oh and i did redo my last battle and gave the romans pre marian reform units, it was hastasi, triaria. (sorry i have miss spelt it)

Anyways the triaria got smashed! As a unit they are good but when they get broken up they get hacked apart quickly! So basiclly the triaria force got wiped out but thank fully the hastasi held the battle line long enough for the romans on the west side of the settlement to come to there aid after killing of the army they were facing.

Would upload images but there is something wrong with my computer which is making it run very slow, it took me ten minutes just to get onto this website!

[Ferrus]

Hehe, the idea for it just popped into my head while I was modding and just wouldnt leave me alone even when I was about to head off to bed. It was fun and funneh and I first tested it with only twenty men, only to have them get pushed out of the square and losing even though they slain 1500 romans! I wonder if this counts as my first aar? =p The only downside was uploading the images as I had constant error messages from imageshack the damn hobos.