[RTR AAR] Twilight of the Arsacids

**Drtad** · September 10, 2007, 11:30 PM

Hi! I decided to post my AAR here as well since I used to post them at the RTR forums. I'll link you to the first three chapters and intro here, and then I'll post all chapters after those three here as well. Enjoy.

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=119639

**pseudocaesar** · September 11, 2007, 12:48 AM

Boo Armenia. I hope you fail in a blazing inferno of Armenian corpses.

**Drtad** · September 13, 2007, 11:06 PM

Darn it!! I just played the last turnset but it CTD'd right after the huge huge battle I won ended... I'll think of something...

**pseudocaesar** · September 14, 2007, 02:27 AM

no good, i enjoyed it, even though i've never been a fan of late period mods.

**Drtad** · September 14, 2007, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by pseudocaesar

no good, i enjoyed it, even though i've never been a fan of late period mods.

Don't worry, I replayed the battle with similar results and am in the process of typing the next chapter.

**Drtad** · September 15, 2007, 03:02 PM

Twilight of the Arsacids Chapter Four: Armenia…, Once a Battlefield, Always a Battlefield

The Persians suppressed for the moment, Arkah Artashes decided to maneuver his troops against the Romans besieging Van. They had brought an eagle… Legio Armeniaca, if my insight into the battle serves me well. Anyway, Artashes came up against the Romans with an army far smaller, the Romans were fielding about 900,000 men, while Artashes came up against them with about 2000. Would God be with him?

Artashes: My reinforcements are late!? They won’t be with me in this critical battle!?

Nakharar Nerses: Apparently.

Artashes: Well, at least God will be with me… Right, God?

Nerses: Milord, the Romans approach.

Artashes: Let them do so! Horse archers! Do your stuff and begin the preliminary bombardment. Their legionary cohorts of Macedonica and Armeniaca are too strong to attack directly, especially since they are supplemented by militias and Roman cataphracts…

As the horse archers overwhelmed the weaker Roman missile units and began to pick off a few infantry and cataphracts, the Armenian Azats and the Rhamiks moved in for a direct frontal attack.

The Azats moved in for their frontal distracting attack at the center of the Roman lines…

The Nakharars prepared for their flank maneuver…

The infantry closed in on one another, both sides launching their javelin volleys. The Legio Armeniaca stood fast.

[

Artashes: Have the troops made contact?

Nerses: Yes, milord. However the Rhamiks routed before they even made contact and the Azats do not have the manpower to hold them off for over a minute.

Artashes: Then I shall move my own division of bodyguards to charge and fill out the left flank, the Aspets can charge at the right and flank the legions there, and after that when the legions try to flank my division on the left the Nakharars can flank them and the other Nakharar division can move in and scatter the Roman cavalry and remaining archers.

And subsequently the Aspets charged, relieving the hard pressed Azats on the right flank…

The battle continued for a long time.

Eventually, it appeared as though even flanked by Aspets and continuously under bombardment of the Horse Archers, the Romans would not break. That’s where the Nakharars came in.

After a problem with our Armenian battlefield cameras, no more pictures could be taken of the battle…

Artashes: Keep hounding them men! They are attempting to retreat! Leave none alive!

Stay tuned for the next chapter!

**Exekutor** · September 15, 2007, 05:28 PM

LOL First 900.000 romans, then 4 million vs 2000 armenians

I knew historians get a bit gushy when describing their people's victory, but this is hilarious

I also read your other chapters, I will keep an eye on your AAR +rep

BTW BI, does infantry still have spikes on their back? does the cavalry still die faster when they charge into the rear of a unit than with a frontal charge?

**Drtad** · September 15, 2007, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by Exekutor

LOL First 900.000 romans, then 4 million vs 2000 armenians

I knew historians get a bit gushy when describing their people's victory, but this is hilarious

I actually got inspirations for that from a real Armenian historical text (histories of Pavstos Buzandatsi), and in it, there are a few sections like this:

Then Dmawund Vsemakan of the Kawosakan tohm came with 900,000 troops, sent by king Shapuh of Iran to come to the country of Armenia and make war. But the troops of the country of Armenia were organized and prepared. With Vasak as their general, they arose to war against [the Iranians]. The Iranian troops were defeated before them and turned to flight. Vasak caught up, struck, destroyed and killed them such that no one was spared. He killed Vsemakan among the troops, while the dregs [of the fugitives] were chased beyond their boundaries.

And the 4,000,000 comes from this:

Then came Vahrich [son of] Vahrich with 4,000,000 Iranian troops sent by king Shapuh to loot and destroy the country of the troops of the Armenian kingdom. They arrived at a place called Maxazean. But then general Vasak, with 40,000 [troops] rose against him. He struck and killed his troops, killed Vahrich, destroying the Iranian troops and leaving none of them alive. And he protected the borders of his country

I also read your other chapters, I will keep an eye on your AAR +rep

Thanks!

BTW BI, does infantry still have spikes on their back? does the cavalry still die faster when they charge into the rear of a unit than with a frontal charge?

No, luckily in BI, this is fixed, the infantry go flying instead.

**Exekutor** · September 16, 2007, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by Drtad

No, luckily in BI, this is fixed, the infantry go flying instead.

Any clue how the mod fixed it? That was the biggest reason I never liked BI. Apart from the Crusades and FATW, which had 2hp cav

**Tankbuster** · September 16, 2007, 08:24 AM

Nice victory.
Battles are still harder in RS, eh?

The 4,000,000 vs 2,000 was hilarious

Unfortunately, I can't rep you anymore just yet. Sorry

**Drtad** · September 16, 2007, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by Exekutor

Any clue how the mod fixed it? That was the biggest reason I never liked BI. Apart from the Crusades and FATW, which had 2hp cav

Actually that problem was introduced in patch 1.5. I believe BI 1.6 fixed it, not the mod, but I'm not entirely sure...

Thanks for your comments, Tankbuster!

**Drtad** · October 01, 2007, 10:17 PM

The Lost Chapter in the Twilight of the Arsacids: Artashes Receives Orders

Vagharshapat…

Artashes: Attendant, is there any news from the Roman front?

Attendant: Yes, milord…

Artashes: ...Well?

Attendant: Well what?

Artashes: Well what is it!? Jesus Christ do I have to outline every single request for you, you pathetic vermon!?

Attendant: I’m sorry, Der Takavor, Inknakal, Arkah… I shall tell you immediately. Let me just find that file… Give me a moment…

Artashes: You sniveling slimey swine! Let me find it! Out of the way or I’ll have to hurt you with more alliteration!

Attendant: Ahhhh!!

Artashes: What?!

Attendant: You pushed me and I fell and banged my funny bone…

Artashes: Well, haha! Now shut up, make yourself useful. Slaughter the lamb and make some shish kebob.

Attendant: Immediately, anything for my gracious and patient and polite and nice and not demanding lord.

Artashes: I don’t like your tone.

Attendant: Do you want the shish kebob or not.

Artashes: Sorry, carry on… Hmm… It seems as though we are winning on the front and are pushing back Sassanian attempts to break through. However, our troops guarding the Persian front are only 10% of our military assets… I shall raise an army and proceed to Ecbatana immediately, and reestablish the boundaries of Armenia as set by King Drtad III!

Attendant: Milord, I am sorry, but did you want chicken or lamb kebob?

Artashes: Lamb, you idiot! Aren’t attendants supposed to have photographic memories? Yeesh!

A few hours later…

Artashes: Ahh, lamb kebob with a side of nice women… That really hits the spot. Being King of Armenia is really fantastic once you get all of your diplomacy work done. Yeah, this is the life…

Queen Erato: Artashes, where are you?

Artashes: I am definitely not in the bath area, honey, definitely not! No, don’t come in, I’m naked! I… can explain?

Erato: You ungodly beast. I give you everything a wife is supposed to give, and yet you continue to commit fornication…

Artashes: It’s not what it looks like! Really! They are crazy naturists or something… They invaded my bath complex and tried to rape me! They are rapists!

Erato: Humph, serves you right.

Artashes: Dammit, I suppose it is time for bed, anyway. That kebob tasted kind of funny...

In Artashes’s Dream…

Artashes: Die, Persian! Die, Roman! Take this! You shall all face my iron blade of wrathfulness and you shall all perish. Mwahahaha!

Civilians: But we aren’t soldiers!

Artashes: I don’t care! Hahaha! Chop! Slice! Dice! And everything nice! Come cataphracts, spear them with me!

Angel: Artashes!

Artashes: Huh?

Angel: Artashes, do not be afraid, I am an angel of the Lord, sent by the Only Begotten to save you.

Artashes: Uhh… It’s not what it looks like!

Angel: Artashes: Your actions in your life have not pleased God, and if you do not reform your ways, you shall surely have an extended stay in Purgatory.

Artashes: But I am good, really! See? I stopped slaughtering the civilians when I figured out you were there!

Angel: Artashes, if you do not reach Jerusalem, Rome, Carthage, and Ecbatana by the time of your death and beg forgiveness in each of these places, no matter how much you reform your ways, the Lord will remember your awful deeds and you shall not be granted entrance to his Eternal kingdom, forever. This is your only warning. Repent, or face justice.

Artashes: But how can I reach these cities if the people controlling these cities don’t allow me to enter peacefully?

Angel: The people of these cities are sinful and must face justice. You must take them by force.

Artashes: Now that is something up my alley! Thanks, angel!

Back to Reality…

Artashes: Erato! Erato!

Erato: What is it? It’s 2:00 in the morning you cheating lousy excuse for a husband.

Artashes: No, an angel spoke to me in my dream, and told me I had to reform my ways and take the cities of Jerusalem, Rome, Ecbatana, and Carthage, or else I was going to Hell.

Erato: So what are you going to do now?

Artashes: Go take those cities and embark on a long campaign. Where is Carthage anyway? I have to relearn geography or I’ll end up like a fifth of Americans… Goodbye, Erato!

Erato: Goodbye! Hey, those drugs I put in his kebob to make him see visions of angels really did work, I suppose my deposit of 500,000 tetradrachms was worth it after all, it got that oaf out of my sight… Thank God.