Ghostrider- A Sicilian AAR

hi,

this shall be some kind of semi-comedy-AAR.
If you think now WTF?????
Then i'll explain it to you.
I will try to write serious about battles and the campaign. during battles or at important scenes will be smaller dialogues that will contain some comedy.
But that's an experiment for me and when i think it soesn't really fit to my style of writing, i will write a "normal" AAR.
I was inspired by the missing textures of the officer of Sicilian Mailed Knights.

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/8258/0228qs2.jpg

Settings:
Very Hard/Very Hard

I will try to have never more than 4 Alliances in one, Alliances to muslim Factions are forbidden for me and I will not reload after a lost battle.


So here it starts.

Prologue

1180 AD
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...y_1154.svg.png
(Source: Wikipedia)

Compared to the state of things almost 25 years ago, the Kingdom of Sicily had lost huge parts of their regions in Southern Italy (at least in DLV^^).
The power of the Siculo-Normans shrinked down and now they are a small Kingdom in Southern Italy, that is too weak to destroy a huge Rebel Army that camps directly in front of Palermo.

But for now, the nobles of Sicily don't think that it's necessary to kill the Rebel. He calls himself Roger, like the last Sicilian King, and controls the area and kills bandits and other scum, so the nobles don't worry about him, even when he himself plunders small villages.

On the Hunt:
Principe Tancredi: Look, what a nice bear!
Noble Slimers: Yeah, he is really huge, and dead.
Principe Tancredi: Dead? he's alive, son't you see the blood running out of his several hurts?
Noble Slimer1: *sigh* Principe, he is dead! He wouldn't even look at you if you kick his fured a**!
Principe Tancredi: Really? *jumps of his horse and walks to the bear*
Noble Slimer2: M'lord! You wouldn't want to kick the a** of a dead animal!
Principe Tancredi: Only this will prove if he's really dead!

A man on a white horse is coming and places himself in front of the bear

Unknown: You don't kick the a**es of dead animals, even when they killed a few hundred sheep before he died!
Principe Tancredi: Hell, man! This bear lies on my land...
Unknown: You're land? This is my land! I'm Roger!
Principe Tancredi: Roger is dead!
Noble Slimer1: M'Lord, that is that crazy Rebal we told you about! Fast, get on your horse, we need to run for our fat a**es!
Roger: Dead??????? I'm here, in flesh and blood! Alive, as you may see!
Principe Tancredi: One moment, I know you! You are that gay-stalker who always followed my father all the time, so that you had to be a few miles away from him in the end, now he's dead and you think you're him!
Roger: Gay-Stalker???? Do you want to fool me? I'm the King of Sicily!
Principe Tacredi: Shut the **** up! I will kick your damned a** further away then my father's judges ever did!
Roger: I'm the King! How dare you may talk to me like that???
Principe Tankredi: Shall I kill you're damned mouth now or do you want to **** your beloved bear first????
Roger: That's enough, now we're at war.
Principe Tancredi: Then it may be so.

great aar!! what's u version man??

it's 5.5, as i wrote in the small pic above.

but i need to say that I, during thinking on the next chapter, found out that the comedy-thinbg doesn't fit my writing stile and i don't want to make jokes on serious things like a war, even when it's just in a game....

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Originally Posted by Nevada

but i need to say that I, during thinking on the next chapter, found out that the comedy-thinbg doesn't fit my writing stile and i don't want to make jokes on serious things like a war, even when it's just in a game....

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If that's the case, i'd like to now how you feel about your personal responsibility to the pain and agonizing terror the world has to suffer due to your participation in mankind (and capitalism).

Srsly, i can totally understand that dirty jokes are not everyone's pleasure.

Click to view content: 

http://srv027.pixpack.net/2008041419...uchoydphxt.gif

However, just write on without comedy about war and all that stuff.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

http://srv029.pixpack.net/2008041419...qojzmowuli.gif

GL

the main reason was that i'm no good comedian (didn't want to make jokes that are flat and bad) and it really doesn't fit for my style of writing....
and on my feels: i think i can't change that much alone.
medieval warfare was cruel, so i don't feel good when making a joke out of it.
it's like you'd make concentration-camp jokes.
you laugh about the death of millions.....

P.S: and i like your AAR

Chapter 1: Southern Italy

Fighting Rebels in own lands
The battle against Roger was fought by Alberto d'Ottavio, a great knight and general.

Roger's army had the higher terrain and outnumbered the Sicilian Army 2 by 1, so Roger hired a few mercenaries, but the Rebels were still outnumbering them.
Alberto decided to surprise the enemy with an attack during the day, as the Rebels expected a night attack because they outnumbered the Sicilians.
The Sicilian attack was a huge surprise for Roger, but his mercenary-crossbowmen were killing many of the Sicilian mercenaries, so Alberto decided to storm the hill.
Mailed Knights and the Bodyguard killed the crossbowmen during Roger stood around and did nothing except watching the battle.
His infantry was fighting for the death as they were completely surrounded. Sicilian Bowmen shot Roger's Bodyguard and, afte he had only one man left of his bodyguard, he decided to take part in the battle and he attacked the Sicilian Bowmen down the hill.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/8299/0191uf9.jpg

He got killed soon after this screen was taken and this was the first victory for Sicily on the lonbg road to old glory.

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/3883/0192xi5.jpg

Soon after the victory, an alliances to the Pope, the venetians and the Lega Lombarda were made.

The siege of Reggio

Reggio belonged to those cities in Southern italy that were once Sicilian and got independent after the deaath of King Roger II.
Reggio was strategically important, as the ruling of this small town would grant control of the road of Messina to the Sicilians, so this was important for trade and would bring money.
Alberto d'Ottaviano was sent there with a reinforced army.
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/5812/0197gg0.jpg

Reggio had no real port, so Alberto decided to let the fleet simply blockade the Road of Messina, which made the fleet beaching its ships near Messina, as Alberto's siege engines needed so much place.

Alberto built 2 rams and started the attack after one year of siege.
One ram should break through the gate and another one should brek through the wall a small distance left to the wall.
It worked and the cavalry broke through the gate during the infantry made its way through the hole in the wall.

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/1827/0201wa1.jpg

The enemy units were concentrating on the Sicilian Infantry and so the cavalry didn't have ay difficulties in reaching the town's plaza and conquering it. This made the Rebel infantry storm back to the plaza where it met the Sicilian cavalry in their front and the Sicilian Infantry in their back.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/8462/0208hr6.jpg

Nearly no Rebel survived the battle and Sicily had won a bit of its old glory back!

http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/5939/0209ka9.jpg

The Rest
It isn't that exciting to talk about the rest of the reconquest of Southern Italy. The Rebels in Bari and Brindisi were already decimated by Venetian forces which tried to conwuer the both towns and didn't get it done.
Guaimario Chiaromonte, a new general, led these battles but he wasn't less successful. He used the same strategy as ALberto had and the Rebels got caught by it, even whent the 2 remaining Rebels of Reggio had warned tham and the attack was at night....

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/7279/0217px1.jpg

So Bari fell to the Sicilian Empire and Brindisi followed a few years after.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/272/0230fc8.jpg

What next?
Through the wars against the Rebels, Sicily lost much of its money.
So the aim for the next years was taking control of the entry to the Adrian Sea, which meant conquering Durazzo and defeating the pirates of Kerkyra, then the Sicilians wanted to conquer all the islands in the Western Mediterranean to get control of the Sea and to prepare for a huge Invasion of the Moorish lands.
(the grey zones should be controled by Sicily, look at the minimap!)

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/5923/0244kz1.jpg


http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/3020/0231kn1.jpg
But then, one year after the start of the Preparations for that, the Pope called a Crusade to Narbonne, the city of the godless heresian that call themselves Kartharians. Sicily decided to take part on the crusade, as Narbonne would be a good position to influence the western meditarranean even more.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nevada

the main reason was that i'm no good comedian (didn't want to make jokes that are flat and bad) and it really doesn't fit for my style of writing....

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by LlamaD

However, just write on without ...

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People want to friggin' know whats up with this Sicilian Mailed Knights Officier.

[Offense]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Maybe they want to know why Principe Tancredi acts homophobic... and if he is zoophile or just anal-retentive.... [ ok , enough - maybe he just likes nice bears ? - but then, again.... i wonder why.. ], too.

[/Offense]

I goes a bit to mudpit, so no need to continue.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

howeva,

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nevada

and on my feels: i think i can't change that much alone.

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But you're still responsible. Even more by knowing and staying passive. Haaaah, guilt complex is a fine thing, what? :thumbsup2

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nevada

medieval warfare was cruel, so i don't feel good when making a joke out of it.
it's like you'd make concentration-camp jokes.
you laugh about the death of millions.....

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warfare isn't more or less cruel before or after medieval times. just scaled.. war stays at the same high cruelty level.
And that's [laughing&making jokes 'bout bad things like that] just human nature a feature to survive.

[/Offense]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nevada

P.S: and i like your AAR

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Fine, but the disobedient recipients shall be punished as always.




In related news, i like to speak about...

Click to view content: 

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Roger's army had the higher terrain and outnumbered the Sicilian Army 2 by 1, so Roger hired a few mercenaries, but the Rebels were still outnumbering them.

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So Roger is our brave silician Rebel King, right?
And he outnumbers the royal troops 2 to 1, right?
Then he thinks :" uh, maybe 2 to 1 isn't that good, i should get reinforcements.
Roger: "Hey you, Mercenaries!"
Mercenary Captain: " Uh, what?"
Roger: "Wanna make some money? Come fight with me, it's easy, the enemy ursupator is way outnumbered and i have boundless money (thanks to my access to swiss rebel bank with guaranteed 10% interest and a maximum overdraft credit of 2.8 million florins..). Whattaya say?"
Mercenary Captain: "Deal!"

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Alberto decided to surprise the enemy with an attack during the day, as the Rebels expected a night attack because they outnumbered the Sicilians.

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Mercenary Captain: "Shouldn't we attack? They are way less and it would be cheaper.."
Roger: " Ah, who cares about money? The won't come at daylight anyways. They got this...how do they call it...Sun-allergy"
Mercenary Captain: "Oh, well, then i nevermind... "

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The Sicilian attack was a huge surprise for Roger, but his mercenary-crossbowmen were killing many of the Sicilian mercenaries, so Alberto decided to storm the hill.

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Mercenary Captain: "Shoot and kill those bastards..this one there ....William? ..and..Siegfried?..and..Alfredo? Hell, we're shootin' at our pals !?! What are they doing over there?! "
Alberto: "The trick worked...At them!"

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Mailed Knights and the Bodyguard killed the crossbowmen during Roger stood around and did nothing except watching the battle.

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Roger: " Ah, this is fun....Look, i bet 10 to 1 the spearman out there left from the tree will die next..."
Mercenary Captain: " No way! Here are 10 florins ! There isn't even an enemy near him!"

[Tree falls]

Spearman : "Aaaargh!"

Mercenary Captain: "Gawdamn.. here are your 10 florins.."

Quote:

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His infantry was fighting for the death as they were completely surrounded.

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Busy Infantryman: "By the way.. *slays opponent*.. what do we fight for?"
Infantryman: If we win...we.....errr....die !?
Old Infantryman: Oh, thats fine with me...
Infantryman: ..err... Ok.. At them soldiers!
German Jewish Infantryman: "wir sind die judäische Volksfront..fliegendes Suizidkommando!"
(time 4:50)

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Sicilian Bowmen shot Roger's Bodyguard and, afte he had only one man left of his bodyguard, he decided to take part in the battle and he attacked the Sicilian Bowmen down the hill.

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Roger: "Uhh...I guess now that everyone is dead i get myself a nice little bow...hey you there! That is my bow you're holding and aiming at my face....and releasing one of my arrows...uaarrgh!" *hit* *dies*
Last Bodyguard: " I could have become a fine peasant with some nice acre... like my dad...but no, i had to serve the King...." *sigh* *dies, too*

..the great job you're doing. Nice pics, respectahorrible grammar, interesting sites -from a forensic point of view- , good development and er...aspiring goals!
Keep it coming!
Can't wait to see the enlightened Mailed Knights Officier!
:thumbsup2

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

After all, you should adopt some style.. ..
..how about .. ?

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are you German?^^

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http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/1...ariendohf3.jpg cant you tell?

I actually thought about that style you mention in your last spoiler.
and I really like "the live of brian" and: are you German?^^

so, I hope everyone will be pleased with it now.
i will try to keep off jokes on minorities (as long as they don't fit in the chapter's topic^^), also those 4-letter words that are mostly used by hiphopers will be kapt off, as i hate hiphop more than anything else on this earth^^, and, after the endless-seeming chaos, this will be the final style of the AAR!
I hope you're pleased with it and if not, go to hell!

Chapter 2: The Cartharians

The crusade was called and the Sicilians wanted to hold the alliance to the Pope, so the refilled army of Alberto d'Ottaviano should move to Narbonne.

Alberto: Why shoulod i want to move into the Pyrenees? There are only stones, and.... stones and then there are those hills of stones that they call "Stoned Forts"!
Principe Tancredi: That's why you need to move there! We can only have one settlement per region, but these godless Cartharians managed getting one more settlement in their region! We need to know that secret how we can go around the almighty Hardcode!
Alberto: That's no reason!
Principe Tancredi: *sigh* There are lots of willing women, as they have polygamy.
Alberto: Where do i need to sign?

After Alberto and his men were on the ships, moving for Narbonne.....

Advisor: i didn't know they were Polygamists!
Principe Tancredi: They aren't, but I needed to get him somehow to Narbonne.

A few months later...
http://img76.imageshack.us/img76/5023/232qu8.jpg

Alberto: Great men! We're there!
Officer: Alberto, a few crusaders want to talk to you!
Alberto: Let them come in!
*they enter the tent*
Crusader1: We heard you came here because of the women.
Alberto: Yes, what's u with them?
Crusader1: Well, through a horrible accident, they all got slaughtered by a furious horde of monks.
Alberto: What? Now everything's useless! I should take my men and go back!
Crusader2: No, you don't need to!
Alberto: Then where's the monastery, I need to kill somebody!
Crusader2: It's already destroyed by the Cartharians, as they took revenge for the massacre on their women!
Alberto: Damned, then I'll really have to siege that damned city!
Crusader2: We want to do so, too. We could join you and storm the city together!
Alberto: That's a great idea! Revenge tastes better when you share it!

The 2 armies united and started besieging the town of Narbonne.
Alberto and the crusaders decided to use Alberto's old atrategy, as the Cartharians were Cartharians, not a complete army. The Italian Militia should break through the walls and then the crusaders wanted to get them down.

http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/9737/0235qn6.jpg

Alberto: I really like those satelite-pictures.
Crusader: Yes, it's really great to have such an overview on the battlefield, but I think this technology will become forgotten and then be rediscovered by a huge, eastern state that will call himself USSR....
Alberto: An eastern state? So you want to fool me? They have so many tribes that kill each other! There must happen something cruel before the people get so desperate.
Crusader: However, our knights get in!

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/5964/0237zz8.jpg

Knight1: Forward, make place for me!
Knight2: Be careful with your lance!
Knight1: I only look at the Cartharians!
Knight2: Too late. Hell, I see the pike of your lance coming out of my shoulder *dead*

Meanwhile on the Plaza...

http://img76.imageshack.us/img76/7687/0238dz5.jpg

Cartharian General: Damned, they broke through! Noe it means men to men, glory or death!
Carthar: Damned, i knew signing the contract was bad. At first I had to pay to be allowed to become a Cartharian and now I even have to die! I should have believed my lawyer, when I think about it, lawyers aren't that evil....

*Crusaders Charge in from 2 sides*

http://img76.imageshack.us/img76/29/0241vl5.jpg

Alberto: That was easier than i thought! They were more than the Italian Rebels but they were as stupid as them.
Crusader: Well, I think that's because of their god, Ultimate AI 1.6.
Alberto: Well, they got wired names for their gods.
Crusader: Yes, that's why the church and the Pope want to see them dead.
Alberto: What?? We kill them because of the names of their gods?
Crusader: Yes! They confuse the people so that they convert! But now that's over, the remainin Cartharians will be slaughtered.....
Alberto: Isn't it a nice feeling to do something good?

http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/7484/0242en8.jpg

http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/9489/0243vn2.jpg

Chapter 3: Pirates of the Mediterranean

The Wooden castle of Durazzo.
The Venetians already sieged it since 2 years and then they started their attack.
It was a massacre.
The Venetian force outnumbered the Rebel Garison by many, but they slaughtered them, even when they had very high own casualties.

As a result of the battle, the walls were full with Venetian heads but the Rebels were only 50 men now, so Guaimario Chiaromonte managed capturingg the settlement in a small, fast attack through the still destroyed walls.

Rebel Gaptain: Hell, isn't it getting boring for them to siege us again?
Rebel: Sir, they aren't Venetians. They are Sicilians! The more brave version of the Venetians.
Rebel Captain: More brave you say? Let's test it! Attack them!
Rebel: I should have stayed on my farm with my wife, and now i get killed because of my Captain.

*all die*

After the battle....
Guaimario: Men, this is a great day for the kingdom of Sicily! Now we rule the Wooden Castle of Durazzo, our gate to the Eastern Trade and the rich greek cities! And we also own now the entrance to the Adrian Sea, which will bring even more money to our kingdom.
Unknown: If we don't get it!
Guaimario: How dare you???
Unknown: Just call me John Eagle! CAPTAIN John Eagle!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Guaimario: WTF? Do you want to fool me?
John: No, I'm dead serious, but now i got to go!
*turns around, tries to run away and falls down*
John: *liing on the floor* Could you please get of from my cape?
Guaimario: Yes, btu only because we need a reason to conquer every Meditarranean island: And this reason will be to hunt pirates.

Soon after that:

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/6201/0246hj1.jpg

Guaimario: John! Where are you?
John: Not on this island!
Guaimario: But you just shouted at me!
John: Damned!!!

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/2770/0252gl6.jpg

A bit after the attack:
Guaimario: *to himself* Hell I wonder that they don't feel embarassed on getting killed by the same strategy as always!

In the same moment as Kerkyra fell to Sicilian hands, Alberto d'Ottaviano started the siege of the pirate-city of Palma.

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/269/0253ni9.jpg

The Balears would be the ideal gate to the rich, Moorish lands in Spain and invasions into france could also be started from there.
But the main-reason for getting these islands was another one:
German Tourists.
They were impressing fighters when it went for getting some Alcohol to drink or for something to eat.
They were also sheap to hold and were always prepared to pay too much for worthless things that the call souvenirs. So these islands were more than important.

Alberto d'Ottaviano won the battle with a very clear but not heroic victory and left Italian Militias back in Palma and took some German Tourists with them on the ships.
They moved to Cagliari.

At the same time...

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/465/0254oe8.jpg

Principe Tancredi: I will leave Palermo and take part at this crusade! I always wanted to see those amazing bears they have in the forests of France and Flanders....

Funny video man. "dope a@# grillzzz:D"

Good and fluid aar so far.

Quote:

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Good and fluid aar so far.

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thx

Nice work, Nevada.

Nice AAR

Good stuff Nevada. :)