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Ignis Aurum Probat: The Fire Tests the Gold [Roman proverb]
Part II
by Alwyn
"One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
- Tennyson, Ulysses
Tennyson uses the rhetorical method of a climax - a series of words of ascending power. We will discover how a brilliant general, like a great poet, can use the power of rhetoric. In Part I of this article, we saw how war shapes the characters of individuals and the relationships between nations. In Part II, we will see how characters can use rhetoric to make armies fight like heroes – and how writers use the cliffhangers and ‘cliffhanger moments’ to keep readers on the edge of their seats. First, we will discover what Winston Churchill can teach us about writing battles.
What Winston Churchill has to teach us about battle writing
We will return to the First Battle of Paris, which was discussed in Part I of this article:-
“Paris was, and remains, the battle that would change my life; it was there that I discovered why some saw us as murderers in red coats, why being a soldier is Hell...but also why we train, why we fight, and why we die for the man to either side of us.”
- The Sun Never Sets: A British AAR for Imperial Splendour by McScottish, “So It Begins…” The First Battle of Paris, 1711-12
Did you notice the repetition, first of “why” and then “why we”? As McScottish is writing from a British perspective, it seems especially appropriate that he is using a style of rhetoric which matches that used by Winston Churchill in a famous speech in the Second World War:-
“We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender”
- Winston Churchill, “We Shall Fight on the Beaches” speech to the House of Commons, London, 4 June 1940
Students of rhetoric call this anaphora: the repetition of the same word or words at the beginning of each of a series of phrases. If you haven’t investigated the methods of rhetoric, here is a good place to learn more. One of the secrets of successful AAR writing is that good AARs can have similar characteristics to successful speeches. A persuasive speech, like an enthralling AAR, stirs the hearts of its audience. Our characters can use rhetoric when they need to inspire soldiers to fight bravely. In The Way of the Bow, Yuki realises that he needs to turn around the low morale of his men to win. Here’s how he does that:-
“’Men of the Otomo,’ I began with, still unsure of what I was going to say or if it was going to be of any use, ‘today we make our stand. The Mori sit up on their hill too cowardly to come and face us. They don’t come down here because they fear us! Good! They are right to fear us.’ I aroused a lot less cheers and shouts of support than expected. Morale was low and with it, our chance of victory would be as well. ‘I see many fathers, many sons, many brothers. But I don’t just see brothers in blood but brothers in arms! Look at the men next to you- they love like you do, get angry like you do, celebrate like you do, fear like you do. You would be stupid to look up at our enemies and not fear them. But use that fear to fight for everything you love! Many of you, many of us will die today. But we fight and we die for our homes, for our women and for our children. Drive these Mori dogs from our lands and put the danger to your homes to rest. Fight for what you care for, fight for your brothers and men,’ I paused, drawing one last deep breath, “and fight well!” An uproar of shouting and cheering rose from the army so loud that it could have driven away the Mori before even a katana was unsheathed.”
- The Way of the Bow: A Chosokabe AAR by Merchant of Venice, Chapter XV “Keyhole”
I like the fact that Yuki has to work for the cheers of his men. Initially there is less response from them than he expected. I can relate to the horrible sinking feeling which comes with speaking and seeing that your speech does not have the positive effect on your audience which you hoped for. This writing is also effective because of the contrast between the initial disappointing reaction and the “uproar of shouting and cheering” of the Otomo soldiers at the end of the speech. This succeeds in part because of the effective use of rhetoric. When you are looking for them, the elements of rhetoric in this speech are not hard to spot, for example the repetition of the phrases “…like you do” and “for our”.
How to use the ‘Three Musketeers’ of rhetoric
Having said that, I would not want to encourage writers to believe that rhetoric is only about repeating particular words or phrases. Rhetoric is about persuasion. I highly recommend Sam Leith’s book Are You Talkin’ To Me? Rhetoric from Aristotle to Obama (Profile Books 2012). Leith argues that in rhetoric, the three main kinds of persuasion are ethos, logos and pathos, which he suggests could have been the names of the Three Musketeers (because of their similarity to the names in the novel by Alexandre Dumas).
Ethos is an appeal to character. It’s about how the speaker introduces themselves and how they make a connection with their listeners. In The Way of the Bow, when Yuki talks says “today we make our stand … I see many fathers, many sons, many brothers. But I don’t just see brothers in blood but brothers in arms”, these stirring words establish not only a connection between Yuki and his men, they emphasise the connection between his men and each other.
Logos is an appeal to reason. Yuki uses logic to appeal to his men: the enemy are afraid, we are united because we fight for our homes, our land and our people. Leith wrote that appeals to logos are often based on ‘commonplaces’, the shared assumptions or beliefs of a particular society in a particular period of history. Leith gives examples of present-day commonplaces in Western culture, to emphasise that commonplaces are culturally specific:-
“In the modern West, we’re confident that prevention is better than cure; that hard work deserves reward; that you are innocent until proven guilty; and that all men are created equal. But it would have been a commonplace to men of Aristotle’s generation and time that the opinions of women and slaves were quite irrelevant.”
- Sam Leith Are You Talkin’ To Me? Rhetoric from Aristotle to Obama (Profile Books 2012), p. 65
Writers may need to think about (or find out about) what ‘commonplaces’ would have existed in the societies we write about. Of course, a culture is not a fixed or isolated thing – cultures continually evolve and exchange ideas. New ideas compete with traditional values. For example, in the Age of Enlightenment in which Empire Total War stories are likely to be set, the values of liberty, democracy and reason were challenging traditional belief in obedience and the authority of the monarch and the church. In your story, different characters might rely on different commonplaces. If your story charts the course of a country through generations of human lives, then the shared beliefs of its people might change.
Pathos is an appeal to emotion. If logos reaches the head, pathos stirs the heart. Sam Leith provides a moving example:-
“During the eighteenth-century campaign in the UK to abolish the Atlantic slave trade, pathos was uppermost – though ethos was there too – in one of the enduring icons of the abolitionist movement. The potter Josiah Wedgwood, a friend of the campaigner Thomas Clarkson, cast a medallion showing a black slave in chains underneath the motto ‘Am I not a friend and a brother?’ The image still has the power to raise the hair on the back of the neck.”
- Sam Leith Are You Talkin’ To Me? Rhetoric from Aristotle to Obama (Profile Books 2012), p. 68
As Leith’s comment here shows, we do not need to worry about whether particular words spoken by our characters appeal to character (ethos), reason (logos) or emotion (pathos). Often, they will involve more than one of these appeals at once. As his army starts to fall apart in a desperate battle against overwhelming numbers, a British general, Sir William Pepperrell, does this:-
“Sir William halted the retreating soldiers and pointed at the 1st Regiment of Foot Guards, still bravely fighting to keep the eastern line from collapsing. ‘Look men! There stand the Guards like an impregnable wall! Rally beneath their Colours!’”
- For King and Country (Great Britain AAR) by IneptCmdr, Chapter XXIX “In Mysore We Die”
Sir William’s words can be seen as an appeal to character, to emulate the courage of his Guards. It can be seen as an implicit appeal to reason: we must rally beneath the Colours of the 1st Regiment or we will die. It can be seen, too, as a stirring appeal to the heart, using the powerful image of an “impregnable wall.” This intervention by Sir William was a potential turning point in this battle.
Having explored the role of rhetoric, it is time to return to Paris once more, to see how cliffhangers and turning-points can amplify the drama of our battle writing.
Cliffhangers and ‘cliffhanger moments’
“… with a sounding of trumpets and rattle of drums we went, the pipes of the Argyles heard from the left flank where they had been placed, pressed between two British regiments of foot, it was only the first mistake that would be made that day.
The folly of keeping our cavalry with the cannon, instead of sending them to support our foot, was soon shown; from out of nowhere, springing as if from the ground itself, troops of French dragoons descended upon our left flank in force.”
- The Sun Never Sets: A British AAR for Imperial Splendour by McScottish, “So It Begins…” The First Battle of Paris, 1711-12
We can imagine the sounds of the trumpets, drums and pipes as the British infantry advance into danger. We can put ourselves in the position of a British infantry soldier, marching in line, to face a sudden and unexpected charge of French dragoons from your flank. By engaging the senses of our readers, showing them the sights, sounds and feelings of the people on the battlefield, we can make them feel that they are there. Then we can make them wish that they were not there! Writers sometimes like to end a chapter with a ‘cliffhanger’, to leave readers eager to read the next chapter and discover whether the characters can overcome some terrible danger. You don’t have to tell the whole story of your battle in a single chapter; the First Battle of Paris is told in several parts. Even within a single chapter, ‘cliffhanger moments’ such as the arrival of the dragoons can put your readers on the edge of their seats, wanting to know more. Here’s a brilliant cliffhanger moment from the First Battle of Paris:-
“Now we were surrounded on two sides, yet only on one were we faced by professional soldiers – not simply any soldiers, mind you – those that came marching to the rescue were none other than some of the most hardened in the entire French army, men that had crushed weaker adversaries into nothing and danced on their corpses.”
- The Sun Never Sets: A British AAR for Imperial Splendour by McScottish, “So It Begins…” The First Battle of Paris, 1711-12
Our next stop after Paris is Mysore in southern India, where a British general faces overwhelming odds. This general, Sir William Pepperrell, has received an ultimatum: surrender or be destroyed. This is what happened next:
“… Sir William approached them on horseback, impressing both the Mughals and his own troops by the distinction with which he carried himself. Towering over the men that had come there to accept British surrender, he delivered his reply. "On behalf of the British Empire, the British people, and the army before you, I send this message to your commander..." He paused for a moment. The Mughals waited patiently for the answer they were expecting. The British waited for the one they feared. Sir William gave neither. Speaking loudly, he proclaimed: "Tell him he can go to hell! We will never surrender!"”
- For King and Country (Great Britain AAR) by IneptCmdr, “In Mysore We Die”: Battle of Mysore, 1729
Like McScottish, IneptCmdr echoes the rhetoric of Winston Churchill. Like McScottish, IneptCmdr sets up ‘cliffhanger moments’ in the story of this battle. The first such moment was the refusal of Sir William Pepperrell to surrender. The second is the moment when the overwhelming numbers of enemy soldiers begin to overwhelm the British lines:
“… for every defender that fell, the Mughals crept closer. The men began to despair, for there seemed to be no end to the enemy's resources. Fresh battalions continuously entered the field and marched straight into the battle, swelling the size of the attacking force. Eventually, it became too large to contain with muskets alone, and like water from a broken dam, the Mughals flooded the British line. The first to be swallowed by this deadly torrent was the 2nd Light Infantry. Trapped between the enemy and their own comrades, there was no place for them to go. Nowhere to escape.”
- For King and Country (Great Britain AAR) by IneptCmdr, “In Mysore We Die”: Battle of Mysore, 1729
Balancing information and intensity
We may need to focus on one of these ideas in a particular battle. I am not suggesting that every battle we write should use all of the ideas in this article. That would overload our readers with information. In How to Write a Battle, an article in The Critic’s Quill issue 34, Shankbot de Bodemloze invites writers to consider whether to compromise information for intensity or vice versa, or whether to seek a difficult balance between the two. How can writer achieve this difficult balance? Shankbot’s advice was to write from the perspective of the general or the leader of your nation:-
“… or those madmen amongst you who want both information and intensity, do not fear - there is hope. Hope in the form of writing as the general, the King even. This way you can get across some of the extra information as tactics are discussed, and then when the general makes that heroic charge to save the day, that is when you get across your emotion and intensity.”
That’s one good answer to the question of how to balance information and intensity: write from the perspective of the general. There could be other ways of achieving this balance which do not rely on writing from a particular perspective. Another way of achieving this balance could involve working out what each piece of information is doing for your story.
Information can tell us about unexpected events, changing relationships or developments in a person’s character. Information can show us how a commander motivated their soldiers to win against overwhelming numbers – or to fight to the end in a hopeless battle. Information can build tension, for example by showing readers the danger which the characters are in. McScottish’s First Battle of Paris achieves this by telling us that his British army faces attackers on both sides and that the regiments approaching on one side are hardened veterans. In IneptCmdr’s story, the threat comes from overwhelming numbers. Such threats can lead to cliffhanger moments: as the 2nd Light Infantry are dying and the enemy continue to advance, panic spreads through the British ranks and soldiers begin to run. The British general’s reaction to this dangerous moment is a turning point in the battle.
As the battle turns in favour of the British, IneptCmdr brilliantly shifts our perspective from the British commander to the leader of Mysore’s army, Muazzam Panni:-
“The sudden retreat of his men infuriated Muazzam Panni. He cursed their cowardice, vowing to execute anyone caught retreating. Disregarding the pleas of his senior officers to fall back and regroup, he ordered his guards to attack the southern line. Fearing their commander more than the enemy, they obeyed. Panni lead the charge, but in his rage, he had failed to take notice of the large stakes sticking out of the ground, placed there by the British before the battle.”
- For King and Country (Great Britain AAR) by IneptCmdr, “In Mysore We Die”: Battle of Mysore, 1729
A shift in perspective can also be a way of providing more information while maintaining the intensity of the action and drama. If we think about what the information we provide is for – and if we reflect on whose perspective to tell the story from – this can help us to find the balance between information and intensity and to keep our readers wanting more.
Conclusion
Our characters can inspire their soldiers with stirring words, in elegant phrases. Our characters can appeal to character, reason and emotion. Our characters can overcome moments when all seems lost – ‘cliffhanger moments’ – which show their strength of character (or their failure to live up to the challenges they face). We probably won’t want to use all of these ideas when writing about one battle. During the course of an AAR, we can use different battles to provide surprises and twists in our tales, to indicate the goals of our characters, their changing relationships and the development of their personalities. We can show how our characters inspire their soldiers to turn the tide of battle and our writing can provide both information and intensity.
Thank you for reading! Feedback and comments are welcome. For example, please comment if you would like to suggest aspects of battle writing which could be investigated in future articles or propose AARs which you would like to see discussed as examples of how to write battles.
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